<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Prodigal Son by loisselina (LoisSelina)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366436">Prodigal Son</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoisSelina/pseuds/loisselina'>loisselina (LoisSelina)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, David Nolan has ptsd, David is Robin's son, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Finding a Family, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Drug Use, Ruth had bipolar but it's undiagnosed, Secret Children, but like theyre related but still, dad robin hood, making a family, professor robin hood, robin will end up teasing David a lot, son he didn't know he had, teen david nolan, teenage snowing, which is a whole ass mood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:47:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>92,216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoisSelina/pseuds/loisselina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When his mother and brother die in a car crash David discovers that he was in fact adopted, sent to live with his father who had no idea about his existence the two are both in shock and find themselves butting heads, will the two be able to accept the other as family?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been having bad writers block so thought I'd try writing a short series</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a weird room, but that wasn’t all that unusual. What was unusual was that the room was in a hospital and he was on his own.  He pushed himself to sit up, ignoring the ache in his muscles as he did so, he tried to swallow but his throat was dry, there was a plastic cup and a pitcher of water on the table over his bed but when he tried to reach for it he felt a blinding pain course through his head. </p><p>“Shit.” He mumbled under his breath. He wasn’t one to swear much but he had learnt it from his brother. His twin. He sucked in a breath. He shut his eyes and saw the impact, there wasn’t really much to see, it was all a blur, it all happened so fast; all of those cliches. </p><p>“Good morning, Mr Nolan.” </p><p>David’s eyes snapped back open. A doctor in a stark white coat and gelled hair smiled down at him. It was that pitying smile which felt worse than a punch. </p><p>“Hi.” His voice was horse and he pushed himself to sit more upright, his mother was always telling him to do so. The doctor passed him the cup of water and he took a sip. </p><p>“How are you feeling today?” </p><p>What was David supposed to say to that? He had survived a car crash, just, and the many surgeries he had needed, but his mother and brother had died. And he was now alone. He shrugged his shoulders, clenching his teeth as pain shot through them. “I’m okay.” </p><p>The doctor levelled him with a look making it clear he didn’t believe him, but he also didn’t push, instead he moved on to examining David. </p><p>The longer he was awake the past week, or AC (after crash) as he had taken to calling it in his head, came back to him. </p><p>The lawyer had visited the day before. David hadn’t even realised that Ruth <em> had </em> a lawyer. There wasn’t money to be had to need a will, or family to argue it over - she had stolen some money from his father’s dodgy business when she had run when he and James were ten, they had spent the next nearly six years in a series of motels and short stay lets. </p><p>She had never mentioned a lawyer and she had certainly never mentioned the letter which was to be opened upon her death. He had read it, he was so hopped up on pain meds still from surgery, it had taken several reads and the lawyer explaining it twice to get the facts to sink in. </p><p>Ruth had never been his mother, his brother, James was simply his cousin. He had been given to Ruth by her sister, the 'Auntie Mal' he had heard of but couldn't remember meeting, who apparently couldn’t handle having a baby. The letter kept saying how much Ruth loved him, how he was her son in every way that counted, but if that were true then she should have told him sooner. </p><p>The only sweet relief was that Robert was not his father, he was an uncle through marriage, and David was not about to be sent to him. He was going to be sent somewhere though, he had already spoken to two social workers, they were trying to track down Mallory and/or his bio father, Robin Locksley, if not he would be shunted off to some foster family or some group home. </p><p>He wished he was back in that car wreck. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Robin poured himself another mug of coffee, he forewent his usual sugar and creamer, he didn’t want it to taste good, but he wanted to feel awake. He wasn’t going to be able to, he felt like he was in a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. </p><p>He scrubbed his hand over his face.</p><p>“Have they called yet?” </p><p>Robin nearly jumped out of his skin, he had thought he was alone in the kitchen, in the house in fact, Regina must have come home early. He had called into work sick, it wasn’t really a lie, he felt sick. He turned to face her. </p><p>She was perfectly made up, with classy deep red lipstick, straightener raven hair, and a low cut shirt under a fitted pantsuit. Not an eyelash was out of place, like nothing in her life, until now. </p><p>He nodded his head, trying to find his words, any words. </p><p>“You’re not-?” Regina asked slowly. </p><p>He shook his head. “I am.” His voice came out as a croak. He tried again. “I’m the kid’s father.” </p><p>Silence filled the kitchen. Regina closed the space between them, she took the mug from him and placed it down on the marble countertop, she took his hand in hers and stared at him. “So, what’s next?” </p><p>“I don’t know.” </p><p>“Robin-“ </p><p>“They can’t get hold of Mal. Or they got hold of her and she, she wasn’t interested,” he shrugged, “I didn’t really listen after the main part.” He scrubbed his face again and felt Regina squeeze his other hand. “How could she not tell us? Weren’t not as close as we used to be but she still exchanges Christmas cards and gifts for the kids, emails here and there- she set us up! For god's sake! I mean it was a couple of months after she and I- she knew, then and there she knew, and she didn’t tell me. She hasn’t said a word for sixteen years!” He was shouting by now but not as loud as he could be, <em> should </em> be.</p><p>“You’re right, she should have told you, she should have given you the options.” She pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “But she’s not picking up our calls so let’s put that to the back of our minds, for now. What are we going to do?” </p><p>“They can’t find any of Mal and Ruth’s family. It’s either he is placed with a foster family or he,” his words slowed down as though debating each and every one before saying them, “comes and lives with us…?” </p><p>Regina watched him, she would have supported him either way, but it was obvious which choice she was waiting for him to choose. </p><p>“He can’t go live in a home.” </p><p>Regina nodded her head. </p><p>“Mal might change her mind and want him, or they might find relatives he actually knows, but for the time being we have a spare room.”</p><p>Regina knew he was just in shock, she was sure he would change mind once he met his son for the first time, but they would get used to this all, and Robin would regret even thinking of sending him away. </p><p>“When is he going to get here?” </p><p>“The social worker said he would be getting discharged tomorrow, she’d drive him here then.” He had thought about offering to fetch him himself but he was in a hospital in Pittsburgh, it would take over a whole day to drive out there and back to Maine. And although he might not say it out loud he didn’t think he’d be able to be in a car for that long with someone who was a stranger yet so connected to him. </p><p>“We’ll tell the kids tonight then.” </p><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>David picked at the loose threat on the t-shirt he had been given that morning. It was probably new but it was rough and two sizes too big so that it could fit over his bandages. He perched on the edge of the bed as he waited for the social worker to sort out the insurance forms, he remembered the fear of how to pay for treatment whenever one of them would get sick, they had barely enough to move around on as it was and that was with Ruth picking up bartending and waitressing shifts. </p><p>One of the nurses handed him a box of chocolate and a book as a parting gift, he was almost certain it was because they felt sorry for him, after all he had lost everything in the crash, some of his and his family’s things had been salvaged from the crash but only the things which had flown from the car like he had. Everything else had burnt with Ruth and James. </p><p>He thanked her quietly and busied himself sticking them into the backpack the social worker had given him, apparently a charity made packs for new kids entering the system. David wasn’t sure if he would prefer to be entering a normal group home than having to go live with this stranger and his family, and all the expectations. He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick he had for as long he could remember. </p><p>“You ready?” </p><p>David looked up to meet his social worker, Samuel,’s face. He was not but he nodded anyway. </p><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>Telling the kids had gone well, they had taken it much better than Robin had expected; Roland and Margot had been excited, though it had taken a while for the six year old to realise that she couldn’t choose for David to be a sister instead. </p><p>Henry was older and a little more uncertain, he was thirteen and had accepted Robin and Regina as his parents when they had adopted three year old him, and had been happy the twice they had adopted Roland and Margot, but they had talked to him for months beforehand. This felt different, but Robin assured him it wasn’t, he hadn’t even known about David until a few days before, while he had been father to Henry for a decade. </p><p>The next day all three of the kids begged to stay off school, Regina pointed out that she would be going to work and David wasn’t due to get there until the afternoon, the only reason Robin wasn’t also going to work like the rest of them was because he would be having to sort things out, registering David at schools and hospitals, and sorting out the spare room for him. </p><p>Robin kind of wished that <em> he </em> could have gone to work, lecturing law to university students was a whole lot easier than trying to figure out what a kid he had never even spoken to would like. He also found himself trying to contact Mallory, but she must have blocked him, or was simply ignoring him. </p><p>The longer the day went on the more he found himself pacing and staring out of the windows, apparently there had been some sort of set back in the journey, several in fact, but other than that Robin had no idea where they were. </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>It was night time by the time they pulled up outside of the large house in the small town. David found himself stuck to the seat staring out the window at the grand house. He thought of the places he had grown up, even when he had a permanent home when he was really young it had been a cramped double wide. </p><p>Cold air hit him as the door was pulled open, Samuel (or ‘call me Sam’ like he had kept telling David during the hours long car ride) looked at him with that patient pitying smile which David knew would have made James punch someone. </p><p>“It’s<em> this </em> house?” He raised one of his eyebrows. Samuel looked down at his notebook, back at the house, then nodded, even he looked surprised. David wasn’t an expert in houses but he was almost certain this was classed as a mansion.</p><p>“Yeah.” Sam said slowly, he looked back at the mansion as the door opened. “Let’s get in there, I’m sure they’re looking forward to meeting you. Do you need any help?”</p><p>“Yeah I’m sure they’re made up.” David mumbled under his breath as he undid the seatbelt his voice full of dark sarcasm. </p><p>“What was that?” </p><p>“I said I’ll be fine.” He covered up with a quick smile.</p><p>Getting out of the car took more effort than he had expected, his ruined body tired from the long car ride, he followed behind Sam up the drive, glancing from the perfectly placed driveway stones up at the house, the open door, the man in it, glancing back down every few seconds.</p><p>The driveway was too short because it took only a minute to reach them. For Sam to introduce himself to the man. </p><p>“Mr Locksley- Mills this is David.” </p><p>David had kept his eyes down but he could see the hand coming out for him to shake. David finally looked up. </p><p>Robin was younger than he had expected, at least five years younger than Ruth. His hair was dark brown with greys scattering at the roots, he was frowning but he had clear smile lines, apparently it was David who was making him frown. He hadn’t expected the accent but that wasn’t a surprise considering he had never heard about him. <br/>Everything about Robin was different than he remembered Robert, he was fairly certain the latter wore a lot of dirty wife beaters, but he could be mixing him up with stereotypes, Robin on the other hand was smartly dressed, he gave David a tentative smile which didn’t quite meet his eyes, and David shook his hand. “Hey.” </p><p>“I’m Robin, you don’t have to call me that, any of that,  you can call me whatever you want.” Robin rubbed the back of his neck. “Why don’t you come in?” </p><p>David followed him inside taking note of the massive hallway, the edges of which were lined with side tables presenting framed photographs, or backpacks, shoes, toys. A home, an actual <em> home </em>. David rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>“It’s not usually this messy.” Robin blushed, he went to rub his own neck but when he noticed David doing so he stopped. “This is my wife, Regina.” he introduced.</p><p>David gave her a small smile but didn’t take her hand, he did the same when Robin introduced three kids, all of which were dressed in actual school uniforms, all looked happy and David couldn’t help but hate them all a little for that, even if he knew it wasn’t there. </p><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>David looked so much like Mal, Robin thought as soon as he saw him. </p><p>He had never been in love with Mallory, David was the result of a night of drinking, celebrating passing the LSATS, Regina had been with Daniel at the time and had left early, he and Mal had drunk too much and had hooked up in a bathroom. It was a night Robin could barely remember, one they had both pushed to the back of their minds through embarrassment, that was the reason why he had assumed Mal had disappeared for a couple of years, they spoke but never about that night. She came back into their lives like she had never left, she had encouraged both him and Regina to go on a date together, she had been there through their firsts, through their lawyerly careers, she had been Regina’s maid of honour. All the while she had known that he had a son out there somewhere and he hadn’t. </p><p>He couldn’t take his eyes from David, he knew most parents protested their kids looking like them but David was nearly the spitting image of him when he was a teenager, perhaps a little skinnier and his hair was lighter, and of course he hadn’t been covered in cuts and bruises, bandages, and walking with a slight limp. But he really… he really looked like he could be Robin’s son. It was hard to deny it now. </p><p>He ushered them into the sitting room away from the kids and only half listened as the social worker talked through things, he signed on dotted lines not really reading any of it, Regina would tell him if he missed things. Instead he just found himself looking at David. The longer he did the more he could pick out his and Mal’s features, the more he could worry over each recent injury, the more he could ponder David’s past. </p><p>“Why don’t I go over the boring stuff and Robin can show you your room?” Regina suggested. “It’s upstairs but if you can’t make it we could set you up in the den?” </p><p>“I’ll be fine.” David cut in, giving that small smile he had used on her earlier. “I can get upstairs.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>David could not get up the stairs, well he could but it hurt like a bitch and Robin was behind him as though waiting for him to fall, David clung to the handrail for life as he pushed his joint to work. “Where do you work?” He asked but only because he had heard Robin open his mouth and was scared about what he was going to say. </p><p>“I’m a professor of criminal law Hyperion University. Regina’s a lawyer too but she handles estates and such. Your- <em> Mal </em> she was a lawyer, <em> is </em> a lawyer.” </p><p>“I’ve never met her.” David admitted when they reached the top of the stairs, he knew it sounded like an alibi. “My mo- Ruth, she told me about her, but they didn’t really stay in contact.” <br/>He left the ‘after Mallory gave Ruth a baby David like a late christmas present’ unsaid. </p><p>Robin nodded his head and pointed to the right hallway. He was watching David so carefully, he wished now that he had set up a room downstairs for him instead, somehow, he wanted to give him a hand to walk but he was certain David would not accept it. “I knew Ruth, I met her a few times while we- er Mal, and Regina, and I were in college, she was a few years older than us but she seemed nice.”  He watched David look at the wooden floor, he gave a small nod of his head and cleared his throat. Robin felt bad for even bringing it up. “I’m sorry, for your loss, really I am.”</p><p>“Thanks.” David mumbled on default. </p><p>Robin stopped in front of a closed door pronouncing Roland’s room and placed his hand on David’s shoulder. Removing one of the hands when he saw David wince. “David I didn’t know about you, at all, I swear. We see Mal all the time but she never even hinted at…” He trailed off with a shrug. “I’m not trying to replace your father.”</p><p>“I couldn’t give a shit about him.” David finally met Robin’s eyes. “He’s the reason why we were always moving, why we were even in the car. You don’t have anyone to replace, and I don’t need a dad.” </p><p>Robin hadn’t been looking to be David’s dad, had he? Well the kid had come as a surprise and sure he had been in shock, he had looked for anyone else for David to go to but he wasn’t so sure he would have sent him away. He was as surprised as anyone that he felt David’s words sting. <br/>“Well... I’m here anyway.” He opened his mouth to say something else but had no idea what. Instead he opened the door next to Roland’s and showed David inside. </p><p>It looked nice enough, David didn’t have anything to really compare it to, it looked like a standard spare room like ones he had seen on TV, miles better than the motel rooms, but David felt dirty compared to the light beige walls. </p><p>“We’ll do it up so it’s more in your style.” Robin started. </p><p>But David had had enough, his anger had been stirring inside of him for a week, being trapped in the car had only turned it into lava, and all of this was just too much. “Don’t bother, I’m sure I’ll be out of this place in a few weeks anyway.” He didn’t shout it or even sound angry but the cool displacement was clear.</p><p>“What gives you that idea?” Robin crossed his arms over his chest still holding onto David’s backpack. </p><p>“Well it’s not like you want me anymore that my aunt, mother, whatever, does. You just feel bad about this, but I don’t need or want your pity or anything else. I don’t want to be part of your perfect fucking family, once I’m healed I’m gone, I don’t need my lying mom, I don’t need some person who dumped me and ran away to have a better life, I don’t need my brother, or your family, and I don’t need some- some sperm donor who pities me!” </p><p>Robin’s mouth fell open, he could feel his own temper stirring but he noticed the tears forming in David’s eyes and the fire quenched. Instead he put on the voice he used on his kids and some of the more disruptive students. “I am not a sperm donator, and I don’t pity you. You’re here because you’re my son, I’m sorry that you found that what you knew was a lie but that wasn’t on me, and you get to be mad about it but do not take it out on my family, you can hate me if you want. You’re not going to run away because I swear to god I will just bring you back each time, and I doubt you could run anywhere anyway. Another thing, quit swearing, until, for the foreseeable future you’re living here under my roof, so you’re going to listen to my rules.” </p><p>He watched as David glared and sat himself down on the bed. He looked so young. Robin sighed. </p><p>“Dave, can we start again? We’re both in shock, trust me, and you’ve gone through a lot so I’m going to be here if you need me, I know I’m a stranger to you but I’m here.” </p><p>“Don’t call me Dave.” the teenager mumbled glaring a hole into the floor. </p><p>“Sure, Sunshine.” Robin rolled his eyes, he knew he had been through a lot but he couldn’t help but feel a little worried about David’s temper, he could say something to any of the kids to upset them. But he couldn’t really do anything about that. “The bathroom’s across the hall, I put some clothes in the wardrobe and the dresser but we can get more if you need them. Have you eaten?” He received a nod. “Do you want anything else to eat or drink?” A shake this time. Robin sighed. “Okay. Do you want to come say bye to Sam? Use your words.” </p><p>David rolled his eyes but finally looked up at Robin again. His outburst felt stupid, it wasn’t even a proper outburst, James would have been throwing things and punching stuff, David had said a few testy words and had regretted voicing them almost immediately. He knew it wasn’t Robin’s fault but he didn’t have anyone else left to blame. <br/>“I’m feeling pretty tired… can I just get some sleep?” </p><p>Robin nodded his head. “Sure, sunshine.” He let out a small chuckle when David groaned. “Sorry but you already vetoed Dave.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Once alone David pulled out the small cheap smartphone from the backpack, he rooted around until he found a charger and quickly plugged it in. He didn’t have friends per say to text but he had photos of his family and their last texts and voicemails. The backpack contained standard toiletries but there were already some waiting on the dresser for him. He grabbed a toothbrush, paste, and some clean clothes and moved to the bathroom. </p><p>When he got back he dumped the clothes he had worn in the laundry basket and noticed a bottle of water and two of his pain pills on the side table, along with no less than nine flyers on things like recovering from injuries, family bereavement, and physiotherapy, along with a sticky note with all of the Locksley- Mill’s phone numbers and contact details, the clear hint to put them in his phone. He did so, deciding to not use them unless it was major, he switched off all of the light and climbed into the double bed. When he was a kid he used to share with Ruth and James. He had never even considered he had been less than legitimately adopted, or adopted at all. </p><p>He placed the phone to his ear and waited to be directed to the voicemail. </p><p>“<em> Hi this is Ruth I can’t come to the phone right now” </em>. </p><p>He dialled again. </p><p>And again.</p><p>And again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is quite a heavy chapter with Mal, Robin, and David, I swear the next one will be a bit lighter lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Over the next couple of days a tension set onto the Locksley-Mills household. Robin needn’t have worried about David taking out his pain on the younger kids, all three of them had talked to him multiple times and had said that David seemed sad but was nice, Robin on the other hand barely saw him, he saw him at some meals but then David would disappear back up to his room, on the second day Robin went up to encourage him to come down (largely at Regina’s urging) and found David curled up asleep, a phone call to a doctor friend confirmed that the pain pills were probably what were knocking him for six. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Regina kept an eye on the pills, he didn’t think David would do something, but he had been through a lot, he didn’t show any signs of that though, in fact he seemed to avoid taking the tablets until he looked so bad that Regina and Robin forced them upon him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin had told both himself and Regina he was trying to give David his space but really he was a little shell shocked himself, he had sworn to David that he wanted him there and that he was going to be the dad David hadn’t had, but truth be told he didn’t know where to start in becoming a dad to David. He had had time with the other kids, they had all been young when they were adopted, things were a lot easier, what was the standard procedure in looking after your traumatised long lost son?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been easier over the weekend, he felt less bad giving David himself in the full house, but come Monday it would be the two of them alone in the big house and neither would be able to disguise their avoidance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin sighed as he poured himself a scotch, he had online lesson plans to sort out, one of his colleagues would be taking over his seminars and lectures until David was at school and Robin could return to work, so Robin was stuck compiling powerpoints and answering emails, his two least favourite parts of being a teacher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He had just settled down on the couch with several stacks of paper and his scotch, and clicked the channel to watch the highlights of that week's english premier league football when a knock sounded on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first he thought he had imagined it, but then it happened again, he glanced at the clock on the mantle to confirm it really was midnight before going to answer the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got to the door and opened it, it took him a solid minute to place the face in the context of the past few days, and it being midnight, and the rain bouncing on the driveway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Robin,” Mallory De Vane smiled at him as he stared at her open mouthed, “you going to invite me in?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her words filled him with anger, he clenched his jaw and balled one of his hands into a fist. “You better come in, we have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> to talk about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>David hadn’t meant to fall asleep so quickly after dinner but between the pain and the medication he had fallen asleep before he had even changed out of the clothes he had worn that day, not that he had really done anything else. But the pain had woken him up again, He glanced towards his door, the light in the gap between the door and the floor meant that either Regina or Robin were still awake. He dreaded the stairs and the awkward interactions guaranteed no matter which was alive, but he needed more pain relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he stood he caught sight of himself in the mirror, he was in what must have been Robin’s clothes, they were much too big but they were more comfortable than the ones his social worker had given him. He couldn’t help but feel like a kid in his dad’s too big clothing. Not that he saw Robin as a dad at all, he grimaced suddenly hating that thought and the expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hair was longer than it had been for a while, Ruth usually cut his and James’ hair but they hadn’t had time recently. He scrubbed his hand through it as he took in all his injuries from the crash. The main problem had been internal bleeding from being thrown from the car, along with a pretty bad concussion, now his main problem was the slow recovery particularly his shoulder and his left leg, he had been told he would need physiotherapy, but that was when he was in Pittsburgh, not in a small town in Maine. But it was impossible to care about anything anymore, after all, he got off easy. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly made his way out of his room and down the stairs feeling more than useless, and hoping no one would try to make conversation with him when he got there. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin downed his scotch and poured another, they had moved to the kitchen but he didn’t offer Mal a drink, she helped herself to one and he didn’t stop her, he was watching her carefully through slitted eyes trying to detect any sign of her betrayal, but there wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal downed a shot of tequila before finally looking Robin fully in the eye. “Okay, go on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s eyebrows shot up into his hair. “‘Go on’? ‘Go on’?! That’s all you’ve got to say? Jesus Mallory you couldn’t sound less interested if you tried!” He placed his empty glass onto the counter a little heavier than he had intended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, sorry I don’t sound more enthusiastic for you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Professor Mills</span>
  </em>
  <span>, my sister did </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span> the other day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin was completely unaffected by her poisonous tone. “Well I would be more sympathetic Mal, but I currently have your nephew living with me - oh wait - he’s actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>our </span>
  </em>
  <span>son!” He watched her flinch and couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let out a small sigh. “I should have told you, I’ve thought about doing so plenty of times over the years, I should have told you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t have given him away in the first place!” Robin snapped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kitchen fell into a dead silence. Mal was staring at him in shock and Robin was fairly certain he was shocked himself. But was he really? Sure he barely knew the kid but he was still </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> kid, he had been through a lot, and apparently the start of his life hadn’t been that easy either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had just got your job at the DA’s office, you and Gina were busy making lovey eyes at each other, when you weren’t working all the hours humanly possible, that is. How could </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> have looked after a baby?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have changed, I would have changed my specialisation, or I could have gotten into teaching sooner; I could have taken some time off or-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Moved in with your father?” She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, looking more like David that Robin had realised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s eyes dropped to the countertop and he let out a heavy sigh. When he finally looked back up at Mal his eyes stung with tears which hadn’t yet formed and his anger had faded. “I would have done anything. And I would have supported you, Gina would have supported you, did </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ruth.” Mal said simply. Robin had known her long enough to know that her parents had died when she was in her second semester of college. “We had an aunt who I used to lodge with during the breaks but she wasn’t exactly warm and cuddly. I never wanted a baby, Ruthie already had James, she knew that I didn’t want a baby, she told me that if I had it she’d take it and pass it off as Robert’s, it’s not like that idiot would notice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>David</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>David</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blinked a few times. “I know. I know, I didn’t mean it like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened then? Did Robert find out?” He watched Mal fidget uncomfortably. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mal, spit it out.” He growled, he knew it was stupid, that David was asleep upstairs, that he wasn’t in any danger, but he felt the sudden need to go and check on him, to have him in his sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know when I gave i- the baby, to Ruth that Robert wasn’t really a bricklayer, he had fallen in with a bad crowd, he became part of a gang, a pretty vicious one, and sold drugs, and he took them himself. He also had a problem with alcohol, he drank too much and got mad at Ruth, and the baby- the boys. I didn’t know until like five years ago!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What! How could you not know? Why didn’t Ruth-“ he shook his head at all of it, at the idea of any kid living around that sort of situation “Why did she take David it that was going on?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He hadn’t been that bad. And she had a miscarriage before you and I hooked up, she was such a good mom I swear, and she left Robert, eventually.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After ten years of my-, of David, what? Living in a Breaking Bad episode?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know, I barely saw Ruth before she ran away and she didn’t keep me involved in where she was moving. Anyway, you know me, I was working: I moved on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a scoffing laugh. “So you just moved on and what? Forgot about our son? Set up me and Regina?! You were there through our wedding, our fertility problems, each and every miscarriage, the kids- all while David was alive and- </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> may have moved on but you didn’t even give me the choice!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mallory didn’t say anything, instead she rooted in her purse which was on the counter, ignoring the glare Robin was sending her, there wasn’t a thing she could do or say to make any of it better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin was now holding onto the counter as though it was the only thing keeping him upright. He could imagine having David there with him through all of that, actually being his father like he was to Henry, Roland, and Margot. He bit the inside of his cheek. He could have had a relationship with his son, instead of David who had barely spoken since that first night. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Only opening them when Mal began to talk, he kind of wished she had just left instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ruth sent me these, when </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was little. Some photographs, papers, documents; I never really opened it, I was going to give it back to her one day.” She held out a brown envelope which Robin took from her without opening it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you,” he sucked in a breath, the first sign of the toll the conversation was having on him, “did you ever meet him? When he was younger I mean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe once or twice when he was a toddler or a young child, Robert and I didn’t get along so I couldn’t be there when he was there. He looked just like James, and the two of them were like twins, there was about a years age difference, David was shyer, Ruth said the two of them were wild, in a good way. I didn’t really ask anything, I needed a clean break, I knew he was happy and it would be pointless to live with regret. I moved to the coast, I saw you guys more than I saw or spoke to Ruthie. The night that she ran away I met her at a gas station, she had the boys asleep in the car, I spoke to her a little, gave her some money- she had taken a little from Robert but not enough. Every so often I’d receive a postcard? But only when she was leaving whatever town she was in. She always thought Robert might track her down, she had to stay safe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin scrubbed his face with his hand. Questions flooding through his head but none legible, mostly just ones asking ‘why?’ why hadn’t she offered to take the boys to keep them safe? Why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t she just got Robert arrested? Why had no one ever told David the truth? Why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t she given him the option to keep David himself?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You never thought about, I don’t know, keeping him? Offering to take him and his brother and Ruth in to keep them safe, he didn’t have to know the truth right away but…. Mal, he was a kid who was forced to grow up in and out of motels around god knows what, you never just thought about….?” He trailed off shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robin, you’ve known me for years, you know I’m not sentimental. I made my choice, and it was the right one, I don’t regret my decision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you didn’t want me at all?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin turned when he heard the cracking voice from the kitchen doorway. David looked rumpled and small in Robin’s clothes, he was leaning against the wall but it was clear it wasn’t a casual lean but because it was the only thing holding him upright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Davey.” Robin’s voice was low and full of concern. It had been hard enough to hear it himself but David was a kid who had lost everything. Robin walked slowly over to him like he was an injured animal, any wrong move could be disastrous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But David’s eyes stayed on Mal.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>David had made it down the hallway to the kitchen by the time he realised people were in there, he thought it was Regina and Robin at first but he heard Robin’s shouts which he hadn’t expected, Robin had never given him the impression that he would shout, but he had trusted others he shouldn’t have.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I would have changed, I would have changed my specialisation, or I could have gotten into teaching sooner; I could have taken some time off or-“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>David frowned hearing Robin’s tone even before he took in his words, he sounded so desperate, David hadn’t heard him sound like that before. He meant against the wall staring into the kitchen at the tall blonde woman, she looked familiar, he thought he might have seen her when he was younger, in a gas station- sticking out due to her fancy clothes, which she still wore today, this time an expensive pantsuit. When she turned to the side he could pick out some of his mother’s features on her face. Some of his own. He had heard about Mallory De Vane just enough times to know that this was her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stayed perfectly still, listening to the two of them, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his parents</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He couldn’t take his eyes off of either of them, even when it made him feel dizzy. Robin was so angry, his words hurt David’s heart, it was impossible to dispute the fact that if Robin had known him he would have taken him, or at least been there most of the time. Mallory was unmoved by his anger, she seemed so sure of herself in a way he was certain he had never been, James had, maybe James had inherited more of David’s birth mother’s traits than David had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Mal spoke about the gas station the memory played in David’s head. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He had been nine (nearly ten as he repeatedly told people) and pretending to sleep, unlike eleven year old James who could sleep anywhere. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>That night the three of them had borne the brunt of Robert’s anger, not for the first time, but for the last time, perhaps because the boys seemed to finally be big enough for Robert to properly hurt. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>They had parked in a gas station and David had pretended to be asleep because it was usually safer that way. He stared out of slitted eyes as he watched his mother move around the car, the sounds of her filling up the old banger, watching her head inside to pay the money for it, coming out with snacks which looked so good that David had opened his eyes ready to pretend to have just woken up, but Ruth dumped them on the passenger seat and grabbed an envelope, shut the door deliberately quietly, then walked over to the next car. It was shiny and looked like one of the toy ones James owned. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The windows of their own car had fogged up a little, David wiped it with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A tall blonde lady, hugging his mom, his mom passing her something, she didn’t want to take it, until Ruth began to cry. They hugged again, this time longer. The lady passed Ruth something and this time it was Ruth’s turn to try and turn it down before eventually taking it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The lady walked them back to the car and David squeezed his eyes shut, he could barely see his mom and the lady through the lashes but a month or two later when his mom showed him the rare old photograph that he could place her as his Aunt Mallory, the one his mom talked about to the boys but told them to never mention around Robert. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She had been there. She had been so close to him. She had barely glanced inside the car. But she must have known it was him, she must have seen him sleeping, why hadn’t she looked, why hadn’t she woken him up and told him the truth? </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>'Why' seemed to be the center of all of Robin’s questions too, he seemed so angry David didn’t blame him, Mal just didn’t care. Maybe she had never cared, not about him anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words were out before he even realised it, his voice cracking and meek as it left his body despite all of the anger and the pain building up, filling his veins with white hot fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you didn’t want me at all?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hear Robin calling him Davey again, this time it didn’t annoy him, instead it added to the tears which were forming in his eyes as he stared at an increasingly blurry Mal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spent the first ten years of my life watching Roberty beat up my mom, Ruth, or being beat by him instead. In a double wide with people who would wave guns around and scare us. Where I was barely allowed food if Robert was around. And then when we ran away?! You think that was any better, we could barely afford food, we could barely afford motels, most of the time we slept in the car for the first three years. We missed school because my mom was scared they’d see how dirty we were. Even when we could stay in motels we moved constantly because she was paranoid, I’ve never had any friends because I would go out of school and she’d be there in the car waiting to move again. She tried her best but…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His words were coming out in sobs now, he couldn’t voice the worst bits, the bumps of coke his mom would take every so often, the bottles of the cheapest spirits she could find, desperate to forget Robert, or to stay awake. The times they were completely broke and his mom would disappear from the car late at night, returning hours later, with money but a little less than she had been. James had been the one who had explained exactly what was happening when they were both too young to know. David had tried to sell his favourite toy car to the motel owner in some small town in Connecticut or Seattle in exchange for their payment, the elderly man had taken it and had given them two extra nights, telling Ruth it was on the house, but Ruth had been sure Robert had arranged it and was coming, they left thirty three minutes later, a new record. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a hand on his shoulder as he tried to gasp for air, it was steady, rope when he felt like he was falling, without thinking he turned towards the hand and clung onto Robin for dear life. Crying tears he hadn’t allowed to fall since he first woke up after surgery and told he was alone in this world. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin was completely holding David up now, lighter than a kid his age should be, Robin held tight to him. David’s hands were clutching onto the back of Robin’s t-shirt, Robin carefully helped him move from the hallway to the living room, so they were down on the couch, scared David would tear open some stitches or something if they fell. But David didn’t move his hands where they were holding onto him, Robin kept one arm wrapped around him, holding him tight, the other was cradling the back of his head which was pressed against the top of Robin’s shoulder. He found himself rocking slightly, parental instinct from comforting his other three kids, he murmured words to David telling him it was okay, even though they both knew it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally looked up, past David as he saw Mal in the doorway, she now had her coat on, typical, she had made the mess and wasn’t going to even pretend to tidy it up. He watched her suck in a breath, he didn’t know whether it was because of seeing the father and son together or because of the glare Robin was sending, he hoped it was the former and that it would haunt her dreams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m putting together the funeral, for Ruth and James, I’ll text Gina the details.” She stayed in the doorway awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Robin said shortly, trying not to upset David even more by fighting, “Just piss off Mal. You’ve done enough.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt David hold tighter to him which he didn’t think was possible, David was clearly making sure that Robin wasn’t about to leave him, he hugged his son closer, rubbing circles onto his back as he heard the front door open, then close with a slam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, sunshine, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’ll all be okay.” He did not believe his own words.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also no Ruth or Mal bashing both were just doing what they thought was right, Mal was clearly in the wrong for not telling Robin, and Ruth was struggling and had signs of mental illness which made it harder - i swear I love all these characters but I always seem to hurt them in fics... whoops</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I told my girlfriend this chapter would be light hearted fluff and like... okay maybe not fully fluff?... There's some sweet moments so I think it counts!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wake up, sunshine, breakfast!”</p><p>David woke up on the couch, there were a couple of cushions under his head. It took him more than a few seconds to realise that the reason he was finding it so hard to move was because he was actually tucked into the couch. He tried to wiggle out of it but his injured arm was still asleep, he squinted up at Robin who was smirking down at him, why… oh, it all came rushing back to David, everything the night before… meeting his biological mother… holding onto Robin like he was a small child, falling asleep against him. That explained why he had slept on the couch, but why was he tucked in, unless… had Robin tucked him in ?! </p><p>“Want a hand?” Robin continued to smirk but he was staring softly at David, watching his face change as he woke up more, it was heartbreaking watching him build those barriers back up so quickly. He loosened the blanket and stayed by David’s side as he sat himself up. </p><p>“Thanks, though it’s your fault I was trapped.” </p><p>Robin playfully rolled his eyes and waited for David to wake up a little more. </p><p>“What’s going on?” He could hear people talking, had Mal come back? Had she apologised? Wanted to try? </p><p>“It’s breakfast, your medicine will work better if you have a more consistent routine.” David raised his eyebrow and Robin tried not to see Mal when he looked at him. “And I thought that we should do some things to get you more settled here.” He trailed off uncertainly, the awkwardness was clearly shared by David but the teenager didn’t disagree, which was something. </p><p>“Hey is he awake?” Regina appeared in the doorway, she noticed David sat up and she walked over pulling him into a tight hug which had him wincing ever so slightly. “I’m so sorry about everything.” She whispered. </p><p>David swallowed deeply and shrugged his one good shoulder when she finally let go of him. “S’okay.” He mumbled. </p><p>“It’s not.” Robin’s voice was deep but this time certain, he crossed his arms over his chest. He shared a look with Regina who had been filled in that morning, she had laid into him for not waking her up so she could shout at Mallory herself. “David I’m sorry you had to-“ </p><p>“-I can’t…” David swallowed deeply, his hand rubbed the skin on the back of his neck under his hair, he couldn’t meet their eyes or even look at them. He moved the blankets off of him, folding them roughly. “I can’t do this right now… please?” </p><p>Robin shared a silent conversation with Regina, they had deliberately brought the other kids up to talk about their feelings, the way they had never been allowed to do in their own childhoods. It was harder to try and figure out David, who tried to hide everything he could. Eventually Robin nodded. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Breakfast was a simple affair, David went to help himself only to be forced into a seat and lectured about taking it easy, he rolled his eyes at everything Robin said, he received a conspiratorial grin from Henry, Robin must always be this overbearing. </p><p>It was nothing like breakfasts with Ruth and James which were few and far between, leftover pizza or things Ruth had brought home from her shifts, normally it was just him and James left to dissect mould off of bread for toast or to fight over the last bowl of cereal while Ruth slept off whatever it was she needed to sleep off. </p><p>Breakfast at the Locksley-Mills household  weren’t rushed in darkened hotel rooms or fast food drive throughs. It was simple due to everyone going to work or school but there was enough of it, and it was fresh, and everyone was happily talking about their days. Roland and Margot were on either side of him, both trying to excitedly tell him about what seemed like absolutely everything. </p><p>“Can David take me to school?” </p><p>“Erm…” David shifted, Margot seemed so happy like she was full of sunshine, he didn’t even know where her school was and knew there was no way he could walk her there, but he didn’t know how he could tell the six year old that without letting her down? </p><p>“No, I’m older!” Roland protested looking between his parents before looking at David. “Take me, you can meet all my friends, and you can see Callum’s new backpack.” </p><p>“Wow, how could he turn that down?” Henry hid his smile as he shovelled cereal into his mouth. </p><p>“Kids calm down, your father will be driving you as usual.” Regina reached over the table to pass David two tablets which he busied himself taking so he didn’t have to get involved. </p><p>“David will be with us, so you two don’t have to argue over him.” </p><p>“I will?” </p><p>Again with the Mal eyebrow raise, Robin noted. He tried to ignore it, to see it as David’s not Mal’s, and to carry on. “Yeah, we have to register you at the high school anyway, and you have a doctor’s appointment.” </p><p>“What- since when?” </p><p>“Since you can barely move, and we need to get you enrolled in school as soon as we can, you don’t have to go yet but you can start to do some work from home.” He saw the look on David’s face. And gave him one back. “It’ll be good for you, Sunshine.” </p><p>“Quit calling me that.” David let out in a groan, pushing away his empty bowl of now chocolatey milk. </p><p>“Nope.” </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p>The school drop off went smoother than David had expected.</p><p>The main problem David had was actually being inside of the car, it was a different height from the one he had been in, and he was in the passenger seat, he had been in the back of the small car when it had crashed. These differences didn’t help as much as he told himself they did, he kept his eyes staring out of the door window and ignored all the conversation of his new/old family, luckily Robin had mistaken it for him being tired so left him to it.</p><p>While Robin took the kids into school David waited in the car. He had pulled out his phone to text James, to tell him about how weird this whole morning had been, to take his mind off the memories of the impact, it was only once he sent it and it remained unread that he remembered. He shoved the cell back into his pocket as Robin climbed into the driver’s seat. </p><p>“You okay, Davey?”</p><p>“<em> Don’t </em> call me <em> that </em>.” </p><p>Robin went to carry on their reparte when he caught sight of David’s face. “Okay… Is everything okay David? Is it because we’re going to the doctor’s? I know some people aren’t fans of them.” </p><p>“I’ll be fine.” David mumbled half to himself half to Robin, he stared out of the window, his hold on the door handle resumed as he waited for Robin to start the car. </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Robin eventually gave in, humming along to songs on the radio as they drove across town, trying to hide his worried glances at David. He hated being able to tell that something was not quite right, but having no idea what to do to get him to smile. </p><p>He was silent as Robin parked at the hospital, silent as Robin led the way to the clinic, his shoulders were hunched, he barely even looked at Robin. Robin placed his hand on his shoulder to steer him into the right wing, David didn’t pull away or shrug him off, which was what made Robin certain that something was going on. He got him to sit down as he signed forms.</p><p>“And what’s your relationship to him?” The receptionist asked, typing details into the computer. </p><p>Robin paused his signing of the forms. “I’m his, he’s my erm, he’s my son. He’s recently started to live with me.” Robin fumbled, he signed the last line and passed the clipboard over, he looked back at David on instinct, but David was gone. </p><p>He walked around the corner expecting to find David there but not daring to breathe. The waiting room was almost empty there was a woman with her young daughter in a dress playing on a cellphone in the far corner, and an older teenager, nearly an adult, closest to Robin, his leg in a cast sticking out, looking at home in the waiting room. </p><p>No David. </p><p>He spun around as though expecting to see David stood there behind him, like Roland playing a prank.</p><p>The teenager cleared his throat, Robin looked at him. “Are you looking for your son? He looked a little pale, I think he went to get some air.” He pointed towards a fire exit which was propped open with what looked like a brick to keep the door open.</p><p>Part of Robin wondered if the guy thought that Robin and David looked alike, or if it was simply an assumption that Robin was his father due to how he acted. “Thanks.” He followed the way he had pointed, heading out to the fire door as briskly as he could. </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>He nearly fell over David. </p><p>He was sat on the ground, his back pressed against the wall of the hospital, he was curled in on himself, his knees tight against his chest. He didn’t seem to even realise Robin had nearly kicked him. He was in his own head. He was almost perfectly still except his chest was going up and down as fast as Robin had ever seen anyone. </p><p>“David?” He  swore at himself when he realised his voice had come out too quietly, too scared, he tried again. “Dave? What’s going on?” It was then that he remembered his own childhood, sitting like that as a teenager himself. He took a seat in front of Robin, the toes of his shoes barely touching the toes of David’s. The heels of David’s hands were pressed against his eyes as though he couldn’t stand whatever it was he was seeing.</p><p>David couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe at all, something was wrong, he wasn’t going to be able to breathe again, he couldn’t, he couldn’t-.</p><p>Then pressure. A hand clutching his own, squeezing it, pulling it away from his face, stopping him from burying them against his eyes.</p><p> David looked up, his chest still heaving as he blinked up at Robin, when had he got here? How had he noticed him gone, David hadn’t been gone for that long, surely. </p><p>Then another thought dawned on him; shit, Robin was seeing him like this. Robin couldn’t see him like this, he had already seen him break down the night before over his mom not wanting him, over everything, he couldn’t see this. </p><p>“Davey- David, I know it’s hard but you need to look at me, come on sunshine.” He urged, his son finally looked up and met his eyes. Robin gave him an encouraging smile. “That’s it. I think you’re having a panic attack, can you try and copy my breathing?” </p><p>David shook his head. “N-No, I can’t, I can’t breathe-.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, sunshine, look at me, <em> David </em> look at me bud. You can do this, take one deep breath, good, good, now let it out, good David, let’s do it again, okay?” He kept hold of his hands as David calmed down a little, he was still in his head though, his eyes darting around. </p><p>“After we’ve got you registered at the school we should get you some clothes, are there any stores you really want to go to? Where do you normally get your clothes.” </p><p>David blinked a few times. “Thrift stores, or er, goodwill.” He frowned trying to think, automatically he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “James and I sometimes get them from, er, walmart, target.” </p><p>Robin nodded his head slowly, the encouraging smile was still on his face, the way he said the last bit made him think that perhaps they forgot to pay for them. David still hadn’t moved his hand from Robin’s, he didn’t like seeing David like this but he didn’t want him to move it. “They might be a bit hard for you to walk all around, there’s some smaller stores nearby, we can pick some up after we go to the school, if you’re feeling up for it we can get some other things, to make you feel more at home, what sort of things do you like?” He was still breathing fast but the distraction was working. </p><p>David shrugged and he could feel himself coming back to himself. “I draw, sometimes, passing through town with my mom and Jamie.” </p><p>Robin’s smile widened. “You’ll have to show me sometime.” </p><p>David nodded slowly, he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, slowly, deliberately. <br/>“Can I borrow some scissors?” He asked, finally pulling his hand away from Robin’s, he was calmer now, so he couldn’t justify the touch anymore. He could practically feel Robin’s eyes on him, perhaps it was not the right thing to ask for after having a panic attack right in front of him. “My hair’s too long my mom usually, my, er, Ruth usually cuts it, she couldn’t, she wasn’t feeling well.” </p><p>“Ruth’s still your mum, David, you don’t have to try and correct yourself for my sake or anyone else’s. I know, I think that things weren’t always easy and straight forward, but Mal’s right,” he hated saying that as much as David hated hearing it, “Ruth loved you.” </p><p>David looked down at his knees, his own dirty jeans worn so thin they had made a hole on both knees, he cleared his throat and swallowed, it didn’t stop two tears from rolling down his cheeks. </p><p>Robin was silent for a minute. “David, has this happened before?” </p><p>David squeezed his eyes shut: a song, a laugh, a crash, metal, burning, a scream, someone's, his? Darkness. <br/>He tore them back open: daylight, warmth where the sun hit his skin, cold where he sat in shadow. Robin’s face. <br/>David swallowed deeply. Nodded his head. </p><p>“Since the crash?”</p><p>Silence followed by a half shrug. </p><p>Robin reached out and ran his hand through his son’s hair, drawing David’s averted eyes back to his own. “Davey?” </p><p>“Don’t,” David’s voice broke, “please.” </p><p>Robin’s hand swiftly left David’s hair. “I’m sorry, I forgot. Can- can I ask why…?”</p><p>“My father- Robert, I mean, he used to call me it.” He forced a small smile onto his face. “Jamie called me it, he was the only one who could, who wasn’t- it’s not about you doing it, it’s just.” </p><p>It’s okay, David, I get it. I’ll make more of an effort to stop, I promise I get it, just keep calling me out on it until I learn, okay, Sunshine?” </p><p>David’s brows furrowed in confusion, how could it be that easy? He had known plenty of people who didn’t  care about his protests, one of tweakers who would come around whenever they were in Chicago who only stopped when James broke his nose, and told him he’d break more than that if he called David it again. </p><p>He wondered if James would have punched Robin sooner. He hoped he wouldn’t have. David forced an easy looking smile onto his face. “I think anything’s better than ‘sunshine’, though.”</p><p>David’s easy smile looked forced and tired. It didn’t work. “David, did these start after the accident?” He stayed quiet. “Did you have these before?” </p><p>David’s smile disappeared and he bit his lip looking away from Robin again. “Sometimes.” He could feel Robin’s eyes on him. “They’ve been worse, I guess, since… since everything.” </p><p>Robin let out a soft sigh. “I’m sorry you’ve been going through this alone, kid, you’re not alone anymore. We’re going to get you some help-”</p><p>“-I don’t need it, I’m fine- I <em> will </em> be fine, they’ll go soon-”</p><p>“-David, you need help, and that’s okay. This isn’t something which is just going to fade without it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of - my father wasn’t the best, he left me needing some help, someone to talk to, a professional. It also could mean that problems such as this runs in the family.” He watched David wince, and scrubbed his hand over his own eyes, perhaps that card wasn’t the right one at the moment.  “We’ll just mention it to the doctor, see what he thinks could help, you’re going through enough at the moment without having to go through this too.” </p><p>David scuffed his sneakers against the concrete, he nudged Robin’s shoes but he didn’t move them back, so neither did David. The door was still open to the hospital wing and someone called out David’s name. </p><p>“I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do, and I’m not going to tell the doctor if you don’t want me to, but I hope you will because I think it’ll be better for you.”</p><p>Another call of his name, a deep male voice talking, a low rumbling David couldn’t make the words out. He looked back at Robin, looking so out of place; sat on the floor outside. in a shirt and jeans which probably cost more than David had seen in his whole life. David nodded at him and allowed him to help him stand up. He didn’t miss Robin watching him closely as they walked back inside, he didn’t know if it was because of his unbalanced walk or his generalised unbalanced mind.</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>David sat on the hospital bed, his legs dangling down the side, wearing only his underwear and a hospital gown. His shoulder and leg no longer ached but actively hurt; not to a debilitating degree but it wasn’t fun. The doctor had tested the movement in his body particularly his injured shoulder and leg. He had looked at the stitches scattered around David’s body including his head, and a couple were infected.</p><p>He tested his reactions and performed what seemed like every test known to man for David’s head, he asked him what seemed like countless questions about memory loss, and mood or personality changes, signs of something called Post Concussion Syndrome. <br/>Doctor Han added his answers to his notes before telling David to get dressed again. </p><p>David could hear Robin talking to the doctor on the other side of the curtain, for a second he froze fear like ice in his veins at the mere seconds of belief that Robin had gone back on his word, had betrayed him. But he was talking about a history of some illness or other in his family tree, which David supposed was usual. Not that he had been to enough doctors in his life to know that. </p><p>He made his way back to the desk and practically fell into the seat beside Robin. </p><p>“I think it will be best to mix in a new pain medication to the ones you’re currently taking, just until the infections have cleared up, you need to rest as much as you can. It could also ease your headache too.” </p><p>“He will be.” Robin swore before David could even open his mouth. </p><p>“I’m already sleeping all the time,” David tried his best not to whine but he could hear it in his own voice, “do I really need them?”</p><p>The pediatrician placed his pen down looking at David carefully. “Realistically we would have you still in hospital, I spoke with your doctors back in,” he glanced at his notes, “Pittsburgh, we agreed that as long as you are being monitored and continue to improve; having you at home might aid your recovery. But you do need these, from what you have told me you are experiencing a lot of pain, unsurprisingly, it could hamper your recovery if you are in too much pain to be able to move your limbs correctly. Your body will get used to the pills and we will reevaluate in a couple of weeks time.”</p><p>David slowly nodded his head, hoping he improved quickly so he could get off of them, he hated this feeling. </p><p>“I took the liberty of referring you to physiotherapy when your father rang me, they called me back just before I called you in, that’s why I was late calling you in, they had an appointment for you on Wednesday morning, it’ll be here, I’ll give you this.” He passed a sheet of paper covered in writing to Robin, along with several pamphlets. “Those will also give you information about your concussion, common problems- when to come in and see us, even things such as diet and exercise - though it will be best to consult your physiotherapist over which will be suitable for you.” </p><p> Robin opened one up and flicked through before closing it up.</p><p>David bounced his leg staring down at his foot. </p><p>“David, how have you been feeling? Your mood, I mean.” </p><p>“I’m… I’ll be okay.” David felt a hand on his leg, squeezing gently until he stopped bouncing it, David followed it up until he hit Robin’s face, that encouraging smile still stuck on his face. He looked back at the doctor. “I’ve… I’ve been having some bad memories, and er, nightmares I guess…”</p><p>“David’s been having panic attacks too.” Robin added cautiously. “They’ve increased in frequency since the crash.”</p><p>David could feel all eyes on him, the doctor staring at him like he was a damn sudoku, Robin was staring at him too, in a way Robert never had. He wondered if Robert had ever suspected that David wasn’t his.</p><p>“There’s a brilliant therapist who has a private office in the town, he specialises in childhood trauma, I’d be happy to refer you to see him.”</p><p>David kept his eyes down, he shook his head, when no one spoke he finally answered, stuttering as he shook his head again. “T-There’s nothing wrong with me, it’ll, they’ll go soon-.”</p><p>“-I’m not saying anything is wrong with you, you’ve gone through a lot lately, and concussions can cause a lot of problems to do with mood, organisation, even cluttered thinking, I think it would be beneficial for you to see him.”</p><p>David bit his lip. </p><p>“David, if you don’t like them then you don’t have to go, but I think it could be worth at least trying.”</p><p>David sighed then nodded his head. “I’ll try them, I guess.”</p><p>The doctor smiled. “Good, good, I’ll set it up and ring you to let you know when your appointment is. Do you have any questions for me?” </p><p>David shook his head. </p><p>“How long do you recommend David stays off school, I don’t want him going until he’s more stable - able to walk around, and concentrate, I was thinking at least two weeks?”</p><p>“That sounds like a good length of time, I think it depends on how David is feeling,” he sent David a smile which made him feel like he was being overwatched,  “but I can assess how you are in a couple of weeks time and reevaluate,  if that’s okay with you?” </p><p>“Sure.” David shrugged, he wasn’t in a rush to go to some school where he didn’t know anyone, it wasn’t like he went with any regularity anyway. </p><p>“Good. Let me get these printed off for you, Robin I’m sure you know the way to the pharmacy, and you can be on your way.” </p><p>David just sat there as the printer made the usual printing noises and the doctor talked to Robin, asking about Regina and the kids. David stared at a picture on the doctor’s desk, the doctor and his kids or grandkids at disney world.</p><p>“Sunshine?” </p><p>David’s head snapped up to look at Robin. There was a confused look on his face, it changed to worry when he saw David’s confusion. “Sorry I was… what?” </p><p>“Doctor Han was just saying he has a crutch for you to use, until you’re able to walk without support.”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah. Thanks?” The doctor and Robin exchanged a look and David was fairly certain he had missed more than he had realised. </p><p>They were passed the prescription letters and Doctor Han made sure to shake all of both of their hands. “It was really nice to meet you David, I’ll contact your father about everything we’ve discussed. If you have any problems arise before our next appointment feel free to just pop in, or give me a phone call.” </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>“Sit down.” </p><p>“‘M fine.” David mumbled, he leant back against the wall feeling the cold painted brick through his shirt. He felt Robin’s hand on his arm, he glanced up at Robin who just stared at him with raised eyebrows as he pushed David down into the chair he had been standing next to. The crutch he was holding slipped out to his side hitting Robin’s shin. The older man flinched and it served him right. “Seriously?” </p><p>“<em> Seriously </em>. If you want to be able to limp around a couple of stores you’re going to take a break.” </p><p>David narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you always like this?” </p><p>Amusement sparked on Robin’s face. He kept one eyebrow raised as he smirked. “Like this?” </p><p>David opened his mouth to answer but the words didn’t come out, he searched for the words; overprotective, <em> this </em> caring, worried about every little thing David seemed to do even before it became an issue for him. <br/>“Annoying.” David settled for instead, adding in a small, prideful smirk.</p><p>Robin let out a laugh. “Yep, just ask your siblings.” The word came out before he had meant for it to, if felt so bizarre saying that to a new kid, and he wasn’t sure when (or even if) David would be okay with being counted, explicitly, in their family.</p><p>David looked down at his converse, toe caps greyed with age, they looked a lot older since the crash, there were one of the few things of his which had survived. He thought about James; about the games they had played, about the fights they had gotten in, about the time when David was four and Robert had brought home a cake for his birthday; it hadn’t been David’s birthday but it was the most he had ever tried with David. <br/>He looked back up at Robin who was rubbing the back of his neck and staring across the room. He thought about growing up in Storybrooke, about having friends from kindergarten, about growing up in the big house, about having younger siblings and having a dad who might have remembered his birthday. </p><p>Robin looked back down at David who was frowning ever so slightly, he seemed to be looking up at him but didn’t seem to actually be looking <em> at </em> him. Robin reached out and gently brushed his hand against his cheek, as soon as David came back to himself Robin moved his hand away. “You doing okay, kid?”</p><p>David nodded. “Have you known the doctor for a while?” </p><p>“Er, yeah, I guess. I moved here when I was around your age, he was my doctor then, though he was much younger.”</p><p>“Much, much.” David joked. “You moved here from England, right?” </p><p>“Yeah, London. My father got a job opportunity here, so we moved, I became friends with Regina, and with Mal. And Doctor Han’s been the kids’ doctor since we adopted them.”</p><p>David thought he might have heard Robin mention something like that when David overheard his and Mal’s conversation the night before. He opened his mouth but closed it when he heard his name being called to the counter to collect the new medicines and the repeats. </p><p>“Stay there. I’ll get them.”</p><p>“Dictator.” David murmured. </p><p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Robin made sure to keep an eye on David as they walked to his car, ready to help the second it would seem like David was in too much pain or was about to slip. When they were close enough he walked the few feet forward to open David’s car for him. </p><p>David froze, he tried his best to urge himself forward, it was just a car, just a car like thousands around, he had spent much of his life living in a car it wasn’t a big problem, it <em> shouldn’t </em>be a problem. </p><p>Robin was waiting to hear footsteps of David approaching, but they didn’t come. He looked back. David was still feet away. Robin was waiting for him to move again. But he didn’t. “David?” He called. No reaction. He tried again. David didn’t seem to be able to hear him. “David, are you okay? Are you in pain?” Robin walked back over to David, he stood in front of him, when he placed his hands on his shoulders David flinched dramatically. “Hey, hey, kid. It’s okay. What’s going on?”</p><p>“It’s, it’s not a problem, it’s okay, it’s-”</p><p>“<em> David </em>!” He flinched again but he finally looked up at Robin. Those stormy blue eyes were full of what Robin was fairly certain was fear. God, had he made him scared? Shit. Robin took a step back, his hands up in apology. “Sorry, I just, are you okay? Is it your leg?” </p><p>David shook his head, he opened and closed his mouth trying to find his words, but he couldn’t again, not so soon after his last breakdown. </p><p>“Oh, <em> oh </em>, it’s another panic attack?” </p><p>“N-no,” David shook his head again, he wasn’t lying, he didn’t think it was yet a panic attack, he could feel his stomach full of butterflies, and he was fairly certain he was beginning to sweat, but it wasn’t yet a panic attack. He took slow breaths, Robin felt as though he was too far away, he hadn’t meant to make him step back. He took in a shaky breath and opened his mouth. “T-the car. It’s… I don’t think I can…” </p><p>Robin frowned, he looked from David to the car, he looked back at David. “The car? Oh… shit.” He remembered how slow David had been to get in the car that morning, he had put it down to hesitance to spend time with him and the kids, and Robin had been too busy with the kids to question it. He had said that his anxiety had been worse since the crash, he didn’t think about the fact that he might find it hard to be inside of a car. </p><p>“I’m sorry I just, I can do it, I just need…” He ran his free hand through his hair, wincing ever so slightly when his hand brushed his stitches. He felt Robin’s hands on his shoulders again, holding him up, supporting him. </p><p>“It’s okay, David, as long as you need.” Robin felt lost, what was he meant to do in this situation? He reached into his pocket and brought out his phone. He tapped on the map app and pressed the directions for home. He held it out to David. “Okay, here’s where we are and where home is, it’s about twenty minutes, maybe you can watch this and see how soon we can be home?” </p><p>David gave a small nod and shrugged his shoulder. “I guess.” He thought that anything was worth a try. They stood there for seven minutes, David calming his breathing, Robin was rubbing his arm. He looked up at Robin. “Wait, I thought we were going to the town?” </p><p>Robin gave a small sigh. “David, I don’t think that’s the best idea, it’s the other direction and I had been planning on taking you towards the city, it would mean being in the car for a long time.” He watched David’s face fall. “We can order you some things online and then in a couple of weeks we could try again?” He watched David nod but he still looked so crestfallen that Robin felt bad. He glanced at his phone clutched in David’s hand as he thought. “There’s a barber shop on the way home, we could stop in on our way home, I know you said you wanted a cut?”</p><p>David followed Robin’s eyes and searched the map until he found the barbers on the map. He looked back at Robin. “Okay.” He agreed, as though doing Robin a favour, he kept the phone tight in his hand as he allowed Robin to help him into the car. </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>It was nearly an hour later that they finally made it back home. Robin unlocked the door and allowed David inside first. “You need to rest.” He called after David who continued towards the living room. Robin rolled his eyes when David didn’t divert his course. </p><p>Robin headed into the kitchen instead of following him. He read the instructions on each and every one of David’s medicines as he sorted David out some lunch. He figured a cheese sandwich was a safe choice, he added an apple and some juice, then poured all the pills he needed into a little paper cup. He carried the food and medicine through to the living room where David was sat, staring at his cellphone. </p><p>“Here, David, take your medicine first.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“David you heard the doc, if you don’t then you’ll just end up in hospital and won’t heal.”</p><p>David let out a groan but took the cup and the bottle of juice. “Fine, but only because hospital food sucked. And it was always super quiet, it was creepy.”</p><p>Robin sat on the coffee table opposite David. “You were scared of the hospital?”</p><p>“I wasn’t scared! It was just creepy - it was like a horror movie!”</p><p>Robin chuckled and watched as David downed the pills. “Even if you ever did end up in one again I’m sure it wouldn’t be that quiet.”</p><p>David tilted his head to the side, scrunching up his face, waiting for Robin to elaborate when he didn't- David asked “Why?”. </p><p>“Well, you have all of us to keep you company now.” Robin shrugged. He could see David’s cheeks pinken as the teenager rubbed the back of his neck. He passed him the plate. “Eat as much as you can. I’m just going to get some lunch: you need anything?”</p><p>A pause. “Nah, I’m good.” </p><p>“Shout if you need me.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Robin had made himself a grilled chicken salad and had intended to go back to David but his cell had rung so he took the call, it was Doctor Han, apparently the psychologist had a cancellation the next day.</p><p> Robin would be lying to say he wasn’t relieved, he wasn’t sure how an adult would cope with everything David had, let alone a kid. He was just dreading having to drive him there, it wasn’t that far away and staring at the map on the phone seemed to help just a little, but it was that <em> just a little </em>. </p><p>He headed back into the living room to tell David but stopped in the doorway. David was slouched back on the couch fast asleep, his sandwich half eaten on the table, he must have put it on there before falling asleep. </p><p>Robin placed his own plate down to just watch him. David looked a hell of a lot younger now his hair had been cut, it was lighter in colour too, the barber had sprayed it with something to help cut it (being careful to avoid his stitches) and he could see not that it had curled from the water. He looked younger than his fifteen years, so unguarded in his sleep, Robin wondered what he could do so that David could be that unguarded when he was awake too. He wanted to leave him but knew he wouldn’t be comfortable when he woke. </p><p>Robin carefully began to lie him down, but David flinched, waking up, stiffening, and grabbing hold of Robin’s arms, as he panted staring around. </p><p>“Huh? What-? Mom?!” </p><p>Robin’s heart fell. “Shh, shh, it’s okay David, it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re in Storybrooke with me, Robin… Your dad.” He watched as recognition slowly came back into David’s eyes and he began to slowly relax, he could feel David’s grip on him lax.</p><p>“M- Robin?” </p><p>“Yeah, sunshine. You fell asleep, I’m just helping you lie down, it’s okay, go back to sleep kid.” David allowed him to lie him down in the same spot he had fallen asleep the night before. Robin grabbed a throw and when he turned back around David was asleep once again. Robin tucked the blanket over him. Robin fell back into the armchair beside David’s head and found himself watching him again, this boy, his son. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for all the reviews they really do inspire</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>David visits a shrink and gets to know his siblings</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I kept thinking this was super short but i finally finished and like... whoops?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David sat on the couch, he watched out the corner of his eye as the shrink closed the door behind Robin who had insisted on showing him in.</p><p>He looked at the wall opposite when he heard him coming back. The room didn't seem like ones he had seen on tv, it looked more like a study, one of an explorer or a college professor. There were dark wooden bookcases against most of the walls, with books which looked so picture perfect that David was at least thirty percent certain that they were just movie props.</p><p>David drew his eyes away from the books and back to the therapist as the man sat in a leather arm chair opposite David. The teen tried his best not to laugh at how staged it both looked and felt.</p><p>"I'm Archie Hopper, it's nice to meet you." The man proffered his hand.</p><p>David didn't take it. "I know." He was used to hearing his mother telling him not to stick out, not to do anything bad or rude, not to be memorable. "I mean, Robin told me who you are." He glanced down at the sling he was wearing to show that he couldn't shake his hand, even if he wanted to.</p><p>Archie gave a somewhat self conscious laugh. "Sorry, I didn't think." He lowered his hand. He nodded his head at the sling, his eyes flickering to the crutch David had hobbled in using, he was wearing a special sling to keep his shoulder still, and a brace on his knee down to his ankle. "That looks sore."</p><p>"I'll live."</p><p>"I think that's very brave of you." David didn't say anything. "Okay. I assume that you know that you were referred to me by your doctor, he thought you could benefit from having someone to talk to, he mentioned that you were experiencing difficulties since the crash, and that you're new to town, and the losses you've suffered. That's a lot to happen to anyone."</p><p>David shifted in his seat.</p><p>"I like to start fresh, we get to know each other, we can talk about anything you want, so long as you're being honest with me."</p><p>"Anything I want?"</p><p>"Anything. Though if it's about baseball or other sports you may find my responses to be limited."</p><p>The corner of David's mouth tugged up, he quickly smoothed it down and gave another small shrug. "I don't really know what to talk about."</p><p>"How about an answer for a question? We can take it in turns." He watched the teenager nod. "Where do you come from?"</p><p>"I… I think from near here. We moved away when I was pretty young, and before that I didn't really leave my-, Ruth and Robert's home. My mom always said we lived in a town near to the one she grew up in, but she could be lying." David clenched his teeth. "Have you always lived in this town?"</p><p>"No, I'm actually from New York; I went to college and then got a job opportunity at the hospital in Storybrooke so I moved here." He gave David a smile."Where did you move to after your adoptive mother left your adoptive father?"</p><p>"I don't know. Oregon, maybe? Somewhere far away from where we came from. I think we made some stops along the way but I don't remember that much. Other than being in a car for what felt like forever. How did you know about my family? Did Robin tell you?"</p><p>"He told me the long and short of it, but I already knew, for better or worse, Storybrooke is a small town. I had heard about you before you were even referred to me. Robin didn't give away details anyway, just vagaries; that you had an unsettled childhood, that you moved around a lot, that you recently discovered that you were adopted."</p><p>"I wasn't adopted, I was given away. Why did you see me so quickly?" David asked with suspicion.</p><p>"It was my turn to ask a question, David. I had a cancelation, a regular kid who's got chicken pox so can't come for a few weeks, I got the call from your doctor a few minutes later, it was a happy coincidence, nothing sinister. Which place did you most enjoy living in?"</p><p>David eyed the shrink carefully, he didn't see any signs of a lie on Archie's face, David internally berated himself for allowing his paranoia to out itself. His mother would have called it caution. "Texas maybe. Or California, I liked the beaches. Louisville was alright, we stayed in a nice motel for a couple of weeks."</p><p>"Maine is rather different to those places. A lot colder in winter." Archie chuckled. "Your turn for a question." He stood up and walked across the room to built in cabinets he opened the door of a minifridge. "Would you like a drink? I have water, orange juice, iced tea?"</p><p>"Water, please." David waited until Archie handed him the uncapped bottle. "Thanks." He took a long sip. "Why'd you become a shrink?"</p><p>Archie took a sip of his own iced tea as he thought. "I wanted to help people, and to understand what goes on in their heads, to help them understand too."</p><p>David scrunched up his face before smirking ever so slightly. "My mom always said that only people who are messed up become shrinks." He suddenly remembered himself, the rule to stay invisible, moveable. He opened his mouth to try and fix what he had just said but Archie was laughing.</p><p>"I think she might be right." He said when he had recovered. "I wanted to understand why my parents had been the way they had been. I'm guessing your own mother may have had her own experiences with people in my profession."</p><p>David's brows flicked down into a frown, he couldn't imagine his mom ever voluntarily going to see a therapist, but there was apparently a lot he didn't know about her, there could have been hundreds of therapists in Ruth's past for all he knew.</p><p>"I hope that you'll give me a chance to prove we're not all bad." He was met with silence but David didn't seem opposed to giving him a chance, so Archie continued their game. "Are you looking forward to starting school?"</p><p>David pulled a face and shifted. "I don't know."</p><p>"Are you nervous about starting a new one?"</p><p>"I'm used to starting new ones. I just… this is going to be the first one I'm going to be going to for a while. Unless something happens."</p><p>"Something happens?"</p><p>David shrugged. "Things happen, I could be moved or…" He trailed off into silence. He took a sip of the water."</p><p>"You're worried that something like the crash will happen again?"</p><p>David swallowed down the bitter taste of bile in his throat as he thought about the crash, or didn't think about it, as best as he could. "Things happen all the time. I'm not paranoid."</p><p>"I don't think that you are, I think that you're cautious, which is understandable after what has happened." He watched him carefully. "Do you think a lot about possible bad things happening?"</p><p>David swallowed deeply. He plastered a smile onto his face. "I thought it was my turn to ask the question?" He said without heat. Archie smiled in return.</p><p>"You're right, sorry, ask away."</p><p>Truth be told David didn't have a question to ask, he hadn't thought that far ahead, and Archie's more shrink like question had thrown him. "How long do I have to see you for?"</p><p>"That depends entirely on how much progress we make together, your doctor, when he referred you to me, told me about some of the problems you've been having, he said that you were insistent that you were okay, but David if you just try and ignore them they'll get worse, they could become deeply damaging."</p><p>David balled his fist as it rested on his knee. "What if I choose not to talk to you?"</p><p>"Well, that's your choice, of course, but I hope that you will choose to open up to me." He watched as David looked towards the dog who had woken up and was now staring at them. "Do you want to talk about what's been going on?"</p><p>"Not really." David mumbled. His eyes flickered up and Archie was still patiently smiling, David kind of hated that, though he knew he shouldn't. James would have hated it. The anger in his veins dispersed and an ache settled into his heart</p><p>"That's okay. We don't have to do or talk about anything you don't want to."</p><p>David was at a loss for what to say, he didn't want to talk about it, but he also felt bad that Archie was so understanding. He watched as the dog stood up, yawned, then plodded over to sit by David's feet. David reached out and rubbed the soft fur of his ear, he could feel any remnants of his temper calming. "How old is he?"</p><p>"He's nine, he's called Pongo." He watched as the dog slumped down and rested his head against David's worn sneakers. "I think he likes you."</p><p>David couldn't help but smile at Archie's words as he watched the dog doze off. He looked back up at Archie. He opened his mouth, couldn't get the words out, closed it, opened it, tried again. "It's your turn to ask a question."</p><p>Archie dropped his professional mask as surprise shook him. He gave David a real and genuine smile. "Have you seen much of the town?"</p><hr/><p>Half an hour later David walked, limped, out of the psychologist's office, he hadn't talked with him about anything real, but he had listened to some methods to help him if he had another anxiety attack, not that he admitted to having them at all. He carried the leaflet containing the same information in his hand as he walked to the waiting room, Archie behind him.</p><p>Robin had been flicking through some magazine, he didn't even know what it was about, he had just been anxiously waiting for David. When he emerged he seemed so young, he watched as David's eyes flicked towards him, and the confused look on his face as he saw him. Robin was pretty sure he knew why, that David was confused that Robin had stayed, even though Robin had told him three times that morning that he would be waiting.</p><p>Robin threw the glossy magazine onto the side table as he stood up and walked over to meet the two of them. "You okay?" He asked David quietly, on instinct.</p><p>"Mmhmm." David hummed, He shifted his hold on the crutch, he saw Robin reach out for the leaflet and David more than happily handed it over. Robin made a show of making sure that David saw him deliberately not looking at the leaflet. It was a bit stupid but also kind of sweet.</p><p>Robin looked from David to Archie, trying to find any hint of what went on inside the room, but he was a steel safe.</p><p>"I was hoping, if it's okay with David, to set up a regular appointment I was thinking perhaps every wednesday?"</p><p>"For how long?</p><p>Archie gave him the patient smile he had been using on him that whole day. "I'm not sure yet, David, I think it could be beneficial for you to have someone to talk to especially with you starting school soon. How about I say for the next six weeks and then we review whether more would be helpful or not."</p><p>Robin watched carefully as David sucked in a breath but nodded. Robin had a feeling the session might not have been the most productive. He glanced at the leaflet in his hand and saw information on anxiety and anxiety attacks, he took it as a hopeful sign that David might have opened up to him about them, even if he was acting guarded now. He realised that Archie was now looking at him.</p><p>"Oh, yeah, yeah that sounds good. I'll make sure to keep them clear from any other appointments." He watched David tilt his head back to rest against the doorway. Oh, he wasn't happy with this, was he? Robin almost wanted to just say that he didn't have to go, but he thought of the sight of David missing, then outside barely able to breathe. It wasn't even an option, even if it would make David smile for a few seconds. "You ready to go, Sunshine?" He reached out and ruffled David's now short hair.</p><p>David rolled his eyes, moved his head away from Robin's reach, but didn't audibly protest the nickname, or the affectionate gesture. "Yeah, I'm ready."</p><p>"You guys up to anything fun?"</p><p>"David needs new clothes and stuff so we're going to the city to pick some stuff up." Robin looked to David who gave Archie a small smile which didn't reach his eyes, clearly just being polite.</p><p>"Well, have a good time." Archie told them, a big smile still on his face, and unlike David's it was more than just being polite. "David, I'll see you next week, in the meantime if you need me my cell is on the leaflet, Mr Locksley-Mills it was a pleasure to meet you."</p><hr/><p>As soon as they got to the mall Robin led David to the first Starbucks he could find, David leant back in the booth seat as he watched Robin waiting in line, he had sat there the whole hour David had been in therapy, even though David had assured him he didn't need him there.</p><p>He had spent the car ride with Robin glancing at him in clear worry.</p><p>It should have been annoying, well it was, but it felt kind of like he had the best version of Ruth with him: not the one who had been unable to eat or get out of bed, and not the one who pulled him and James out of one of their middle schools in Colorado and took them on a cross country road trip seeing all the bizarre roadside attractions they could find and living off french fries and ice cream, but the one who was like a mom he would see in cable tv, or close enough, one who was there, who would sign permission slips and remember to give him lunch, the one who let them stay in the same place for longer than a month.</p><p>He felt a lump form in his throat. He hated Ruth, he hated that she lied to him, she hated that she hadn't kept them in one place long enough to allow him to have friends or even a home, he hated how much he missed her. And that he was already having to fight hard to remember what she sounded like.</p><p>He webbed his fingers together on the table. His phone felt heavy in his pocket, he couldn't bring it out now, he couldn't ensure that he would be able to keep control of his emotions if he were to look at a picture of his mom, he was certain he would definitely lose it if he rang her voicemail, no matter how much he wanted to hear her voice.</p><p>A gentle tap on the table, out of his peripheral vision he could see Robin taking the seat across from him, placing down cups and two plates with muffins.</p><p>"David?"</p><p>David swallowed deeply. He looked up, plasting on a small smile onto his face, meeting Robin's eyes. "Hey." His voice came out huskier than intended. He looked back down.</p><p>"You okay, sunshine?"</p><p>David pulled his drink towards him, Robin had guessed what he would like, he had done well, choosing a chocolate brownie frappuccino thing. David used his straw to scoop the whipped cream off the top and onto the side of the plate closest to him. He finally looked back up at Robin. "What's with the 'sunshine'?" He cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>"It's just a nickname. My mum used to use it, sometimes."</p><p>"Your mom? From England, right?" David remembered Robin telling him so the day before.</p><p>Robin gave him a knowing look, letting him know that he was well aware that David was deliberately changing the subjects, and that he was letting it fly. "Yeah, London. I grew up there until I was around your age."</p><p>"Then you moved here?"</p><p>"New York, actually, for a few months. My mother hated it, she wasn't from a city, she hadn't exactly loved London either but New York was worse, I think. So she and I moved here, we'd have to go and visit my father in the city every weekend, well, when he didn't have meetings all weekend. When he had them we'd stay in town, I'd get to hang out with my mates, it's how I got introduced to Regina, and to Mal."</p><p>David turned his ice cold cup on the table, watching water rings merge together where the cup sat. He swallowed deeply and tried to push the image of Mal in Robin's kitchen out of his mind. "Where did your dad work?"</p><p>"He has an import company, and stakes in a whole plethora of other companies. He lives in New York still. We're not close, you probably won't meet him for a while."</p><p>"How about your mom?"</p><p>"She died about a year after we adopted Margot. Cancer. She had blonde hair like you, and she used to paint, and she was an amazing baker."</p><p>David took in Robin's grief softened face. He reached across the table and gently squeezed Robin's hand for one, two, three seconds, before allowing his hand to retreat. He sent his father a small sympathetic smile, he understood the loss of the only person they would count as a parent. "She sounds cool. I've never baked so I'm sure I haven't inherited that skill."</p><p>"You've never baked?" He watched his son shake his head. "Not even one of those ready made out of the box things?" Another shake of his head. Robin shook his own. "Okay, we're going to have to change that."</p><p>David tilted his head to the side.<br/>In his head he heard Robert's voice, Ruth wanting to bake a cake with him and James, Robert shouting that boys shouldn't, that it'd turn them soft, there was a plate smashing, James holding his hand to stop him from going to Ruth's aid, despite the danger. David went back to playing with his toy car, feeling like he was going to vomit.<br/>There was never the subject of baking brought up in the house again.<br/>David swallowed and forced a smile onto his face, pushing aside his memories once again. "I think you're just using this as an excuse to have cookies."</p><p>Robin shrugged, a smile identical to David's graced his face. "Of course."</p><p>David let out a low chuckle. "I guess I'm okay with being your excuse, only if we make chocolate chip ones."</p><p>"Is there any other type?" He watched carefully as David smiled, looking away from Robin to try and hide it, his hand scrubbing through his short hair, the smile stuck on his face despite what seemed to be his best efforts to keep it off. It took him a minute to realise that he was smiling himself. "Eat your muffin David."<br/>He heard his mother's voice in his head, saying that David was much too skinny, she would have fed him up, god was he turning into his mother? Better than being like his father, he supposed.</p><hr/><p>David officially hated shopping. "Do I really need more?"</p><p>Robin rolled his eyes at the whine.</p><p>He turned from the jackets he was looking at to the teenager leaning against the wall, Robin had assumed he was just bored or being a teenager, but he looked uncomfortable being there, he kept checking the doors, Robin wasn't sure what he was searching for. He followed David's line of sight to the doors again. One one side was a security guard, he was checking his phone, glancing up to look around every time someone walked in or out. He looked back at David. He was staring at the clothes currently in their cart, there wasn't a lot, at least it didn't seem like a lot to Robin, it was probably a quarter of the amount of clothes the rest of his kids had.</p><p>It was probably more than David had ever bought in one go, more than he had spent on clothes in a year, if not ever.</p><p>Robin felt bad about rolling his eyes. He reached over and gently squeezed David's uninjured shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"</p><p>David looked down at the floor, his left foot on a candy wrapper. "I'm fine." He mumbled, scooting his foot off of the wrapper to the floor.</p><p>The squeeze increased in pressure, forcing him to look up. He shrugged, or tried his best to, it was near impossible with his injured one and with Robin holding onto one. Robin was staring right at him, those piercing blue eyes identical to his own, the concern in them so familiar to the concern he had seen so often in the mirror.<br/>"I'm not used to this. We- I normally get cheap clothes free or, y'know, stolen. And I don't have that many, it's easier that way, to like pack quickly."</p><p>"Okay, I get that, it makes sense with moving. But you're not going to be moving any time soon, Sunshine. And you'll need these, you're going to be home for a while you'll need clean clothes for all those days, and I hate doing laundry." He joked trying to get David to smile. "You need clothes which you can comfortably wear your leg brace under, and the rest of your bandages, then some which you can wear normally when you don't need to wear them anymore. Unless you'd prefer us to come back?" He asked softly.</p><p>David shook his head. "No, no, I'd rather we just got it over with."</p><p>"Okay, that means we're going to have to get quite a bit, okay?" He stared at his son until he nodded. "Stop worrying about the cost, please."</p><p>"I'm not worrying, I just, I don't need super expensive shit."</p><p>"David, this isn't expensive, it's just the average cost. And these things aren't singed and don't have holes in them. Anyway, it's not like I've been able to buy you like fifteen years worth of clothes, think of it as me catching up, yeah?"<br/>He chanced his luck and moved his hand from David's shoulder to cup his cheek. His thumb gently brushed from just under those blue eyes to where his fingers rested against David's cheek. "Yeah?" He repeated.</p><p>David swallowed deeply, he bit his lip and allowed his eyes to fall down away from Robin's face. "Alright." His words hitched as they came out, his eyes flickered up to Robin's then back down again, he wouldn't be able to hold it together if he looked at him.</p><p>Robin took his hand from David's cheek. "Good. Now, you want a plaid shirt? Or some sweatshirts? I know it's summer but you're always shivering."</p><p>"That's because your stupid hometown is freezing." David grumbled, walking beside Robin as they made their way through the store. David stopped at some shirts, gravitating towards the red checked one.</p><p>"Hey! My hometown is across the sea, and it's normally cold and nearly always raining, this is a step up. I'm guessing you lived in a lot of warmer states."</p><p>David rolled his eyes but smiled. "Yeah, I guess." He picked out a plaid shirt and passed it to Robin who added it to the cart. He started to flick through some more on the rail.</p><p>"Did you talk about moving a lot with the therapist?" Robin asked, trying to sound casual as he added a plain blue shirt to the cart then began to look at white ones.</p><p>David shook his head. "We just talked. He'd ask a question, I'd answer, I'd ask a question, he'd answer.</p><p>"If you want to talk about it I'm here, or Regina, - you don't have to, of course, it's up to you."</p><p>"There's nothing to talk about, he asked me where I've lived and I told him I couldn't remember all the places."</p><p>"Okay, okay." Robin held his hands up in surrender. "I'm not prying, I promise. I just, I hope you know that you can talk to any of us, I'm here if you want to talk, or not talk," he ran his hand through his hair then let it rest on his neck, "and so's the therapist. He could help you with the anxiety attacks, or any other problems."</p><p>"I took the leaflet from him, didn't I?" David rolled his eyes, this time it was not playful. "We talked. Just… I'm fine, I got in the car, and I'm not having a, - a freak out, see, I'm fine."</p><p>"Okay, okay sunshine, I believe you. You're right, you did good. I'm sorry." He didn't mention the fact that it still took five minutes for David to get into the car, and that Robin wasn't certain that he was fine.</p><hr/><p>Roland came running into the living room as soon as Robin unlocked the front door. David had flicked onto some sitcom he had watched a few episodes of while he was in hospital, but Roland came running up to him with a massive smile on his face and at least five cardboard boxes in his arms. "Hey David!"</p><p>"Hey Roland… What's with the boxes?" His reaction was rewarded with an even bigger smile.</p><p>Roland pushed the coffee table aside and sat on the floor next to David's feet, placing the boxes beside him on the floor. He pulled things out of the topmost box. "It's my rocket, Mrs Sawbridge said I could bring it home to finish it."</p><p>"A rocket? That sounds cool."</p><p>"It is, we've been learning all about space in class, did you know that the great red spot on Jupiter is actually a storm that's been happening for hundreds of years?"</p><p>"No, I didn't. That's pretty cool."</p><p>"Totally! Look I made the planets and this is the rocket."</p><p>David smiled and nodded in interest as Roland showed him things. He was kind of impressed by how imaginating he was.</p><p>"Can you help me?"</p><p>"Help you?"</p><p>"Yeah I need to add some cardboard bits and I need to paint neptune, mars, and the rocket too."</p><p>"Sure, erm where should we do it?" He looked at the light wood and light coloured couches of the room they were in.</p><p>"We can do it here, we just need to cover the table with some old newspapers."</p><p>David settled himself on the floor as Roland left the room to grab the stuff they would need.</p><p>When he came back he covered the coffee table with newspaper and set out paints. And directed David on what to do.</p><p>David painted Neptune as Roland chattered to him, David was filled in on what seemed like everything from Roland's school, stuff about his class and his school, how he hated having to be in classes when he'd rather be playing soccer or baseball. David didn't really have much knowledge of either of them, other than the few baseball games he had watched on late night motel tvs, or the couple soccer games he had caught Robin watching when he was meant to be making powerpoints or whatever. Roland was more than happy to go over what seemed like all the rules of both games.</p><p>David was almost relieved when he began asking David about the places he lived.</p><p>"I wish we could do that, I've only ever lived here, that sounds more fun."</p><p>"It could be, I guess. It meant that I couldn't keep friends though."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>David smiled gently at the wrinkled confusion on Roland's face. "Well, we would sometimes move late at night, or super early, so any friends we had we didn't get to say bye to them. And it was sometimes harder to make them because we were always new."</p><p>"Did that upset you? Having to move all the time?"</p><p>David opened his mouth but when no words came out he closed it when no words came out. He plastered a smile onto his face instead. "You know one time my mom came and picked me and my brother up from school at lunch time, and we just left, she took us on this massive road trip across like six states, we stopped at every road side attractraction, and lived on like candy floss and stuff like that. And we went to a couple of theme parks and a water park, it was winter so we had the whole park to ourselves."</p><p>"Woah! That's so cool!" Roland shouted in his enthusiasm.</p><p>David smiled but in his head he could vividly remember how erratic his mom had been, how David was old enough to realise that his mother's mania was not that usual. And remember how when they finally stopped at a motel their mom went out partying, how she had been on a two day bender and him and James had been having to try and scavenge food people had left on tables at the fast food place down the street from their motel. And how they had left in the middle of the night when Ruth was certain that she had seen Robert.</p><p>He startled when a bowl appeared in his vision. He had to tilt his head all the way back to see Robin, it took him another few seconds to realise that Robin was offering him it. He took it from him and found a bowl of segmented apple.</p><p>"Dinner's going to be a little late because Regina's having to work." Robin explained. He had been about to walk in when David had said he wished he could have kept friends and had found himself frozen in place. Now he felt intrusive, especially putting together David's road trip story with the sad far away look in his eyes. He was almost certain that there was more to that story. "If you don't like apples, I can get you something else?"</p><p>"Oh, no this is good, thanks." He dug one of them out and took a bite as though to prove how fine the snack was.</p><p>"Are you okay sitting on the floor?" He nodded to David's left outstretched leg.</p><p>"It's fine."</p><p>"David-"</p><p>"- Honestly Robin, it's okay, anyway I want to help Roland."</p><p>Robin gave him a long look before nodding. "Okay, if it starts hurting sit on the couch again, okay?"</p><p>"Uh-huh..." David tried to hide his smile and look like he was actually agreeing.</p><p>"David." Robin dragged his name out.</p><p>"Dad, we're fine!" Roland interrupted loudly, rolling his eyes, sharing a look with David as he did, he grinned widely when he made David smile and hide his laugh. "Hey dad can we go to a theme park? David's been to loads, we should all go to one together."</p><p>Robin's eyes flickered from Roland to David, then back again. "I'll think about it Rolo." He nodded to the bowl in his youngest son's hand to encourage him to eat his snack too. "Be careful with the paint or your mom will kill me for letting you use paint in here."</p><hr/><p>David shot up, gasping and looking around, it took him a few seconds to realise he was in Robin's home, and a few more to realise that he had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room, and that Margot was there and had woken him up. He scrubbed his face with his eyes, trying to steady his breathing and to push away the dream he had been caught in. When he finally looked back at Margot she looked less spooked by the way he had woken up.</p><p>"Hey Margot, sorry was I… did I scare you?" She shook her head and he wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or not. "Was I talking in my sleep?"</p><p>"No. You were sleeping and then just woke up, all on your own."</p><p>David was now nearly one hundred percent certain that she had woken him up. But he couldn't find it in himself to be mad that she had woken him. "Are you okay? Robin said you were at, er, dance?"</p><p>"Gymnastics." She corrected.</p><p>"Right." He nodded. "Did you have fun?"</p><p>"Yup. I did a perfect forward roll."</p><p>"Woah, congrats."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>She continued to stand there just looking at him and he wasn't sure why. "Can I, are you okay?"</p><p>"Can I read to you?"</p><p>"Read to me?"</p><p>"Yeah, look." She held the book out towards him.</p><p>"The day my dragon came to school."</p><p>"Yeah, it's my book I borrowed from school to bring home - I have to read it to someone at home and they have to write in the journal to say that I read good."</p><p>"Like your mom and dad?"</p><p>"Or a brother, and your my brother now so you can write in it… if you like…?"</p><p>It was the first and only sign of nerves on Margot's behalf. David wasn't sure how he felt about being counted as part of the family so soon, but the look on her face made him send her an encouraging smile. "I guess if you want to you can."</p><p>Margot didn't hesitated in climbing onto the couch beside him and sitting as close as possible to him.</p><p>He barely listened to her reading instead he was more focused on the fact that she was cuddling up to him, he found himself being super aware of it, and of the fact that he hadn't had anyone do that before. He wasn't even certain that he had done it when he was younger, it was always impossible to relax at all in the Nolan house, even to read a story. Before he knew it Margot had given up all pretence of reading the story, and was running her hand through his short hair. He winced when her tiny fingers glanced the twisted knots where his skull had been sewn back together.</p><p>"I liked your long hair, it was like mine. Do you miss it?"</p><p>David shrugged his shoulders, she was now knelt up beside him, eye to eye with him, he tried not to shrink back. "Kind of, it was fun, I guess. I normally have short hair, not like this, it's,- Robin, -your dad, he got the guy to make it cooler than I normally have it. My mom used to cut it."</p><p>"Do you miss your mommy? My mommy and daddy said she died, like grandma did."</p><p>David cleared his throat but when he spoke his voice still hitched when he tried to speak. "I do." He admitted outloud for what was possibly the first time. "And my brother, Jamie… I miss them a lot."</p><p>"I'm sorry you're sad."</p><p>"I'm not sad."</p><p>Margot stared at him with her grass green eyes, he looked away from her, but she had already heard his soft voice. "Yes you are. If you had cake you might be happier."</p><p>David let out a small laugh despite himself. "Yeah, maybe."</p><p>"My daddy is your daddy too, but you call him Robin like mommy, mommy says it's cause you're new, are you gonna call him dad soon too?"</p><p>"Er…" David scrubbed the back of his neck, and was relieved when he heard Robin enter the room.</p><p>"Go-Go, I thought you were heading upstairs to have a bath?" Robin swooped his only daughter off of the couch, tickling her until she giggled and withered so much that he had to change his hold on her or he would have dropped her. "You're all gross after gymnastics. I shouted for you."</p><p>"I was reading to David."</p><p>"You were?"</p><p>"Yeah." David cleared his throat, looking down and wiping a stray tear from his eye. "Yeah, she's really good."</p><p>"I'm nearly one of the best in my class for reading, only Alice is better but that's okay because she's my friend."</p><p>Robin took in David rubbing his eye, he had walked in to hear the very end of their conversation, he had wanted to stay out of sight to hear David's answer to Margot's question, but he was too scared about what the answer would be. He looked back at Margot. "Did you wake him up?"</p><p>"...No… He was already waking up."</p><p>"Go." Robin's voice was full of warning. "We told you that David needs to rest up to get better."</p><p>"He rested up, and he rested: I read to him."</p><p>"Robin!" David interjected quickly, he felt his heart quicken, in his mind he ran through how quickly he could take Margot and escape to safety. "It's fine. I didn't even mean to fall asleep."</p><p>Robin bit his lip, taking in David sitting on the couch, bags under his red rimmed eyes. He was struck yet again by how young he was, even younger than his actual age, the product of how he grew up. He wished he knew all about it, he feared the truth, he needed the answers and David wasn't about to give him them.<br/>"Sunshine, she's not in trouble, okay? I just wanted you to get as much rest as possible." He calmed him as quickly as he could, locking eyes with David as he tried to prove he was telling the truth, he watched as David's stiffened posture relaxed and he nodded, looking away, ashamed at his overreaction. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"I'm going to start charging every time you ask me that."</p><p>Robin rolled his eyes. "I'll add it to your allowance. How are you feeling?"</p><p>David tilted his head to the side. He couldn't tell if Robin was joking about an allowance or not. "I'm fine. The tablets are making me a little," he waved his hand in a vague gesture towards his head, "groggy. But I'll be okay. And it really is okay, Go, Margot reading to me."</p><p>Margot beamed in Robin's arms. "You can call me Go, all my family does, and you're our family. Roland is Rolo, Henry is Hen, and daddy calls you 'Sunshine'."</p><p>"Your daddy does that to annoy me."</p><p>"That's because David's always so bright and happy."</p><p>The two guys responded at the same time.</p><p>Robin chuckled looking to David. "Regina's home, dinner will be ready fairly soon but you have time to get a quick kip in."</p><p>"I'm," David yawned, "I'm okay. I'm awake."</p><p>Robin frowned but nodded. "Okay. It's time for you to take your next lot of meds."</p><p>David yawed again, he ran his hand through his hair to rest on the back of his neck, then nodded. "'Kay."</p><p>Robin hesitated before nodding again and carrying Margot out of the room. "Take your tablets David." He called over his shoulder.</p><hr/><p>"I like the new clothes."</p><p>David stopped to look down at his clothes before smiling back at Regina. "Thanks. Robin mostly chose them." He admitted with a shrug.</p><p>"You're going to damage your shoulder permanently with all that shrugging you do." She teased him. She moved towards the fridge, reached into the cupboard above it, and brought down two orange pill containers. "Here you go."</p><p>"Thanks." David couldn't help but feel a tinge of pride when he got the cupboard containing the cups and glasses right the first time. He filled it with water then tried to open the containers.</p><p>Regina noticed him struggling and picked them from his hands. "Sorry, I forgot, here."</p><p>David tipped the pills into his hand, threw them into his mouth, and swallowed them with a gulp of water. "Thanks." He leant across the island and he watched her chopping some salad like things. "Whatcha making?"</p><p>"We're having barbecue short ribs," she nodded towards the pressure cooker on the counter from which a delicious smell was coming from, "and rice," she nodded to a pot on the stove top, "I'm just cutting things to stir fry."</p><p>"Can I help?"</p><p>"Help?"</p><p>"Yeah, I could help you cut some things?" He offered.</p><p>"You don't have to help." Regina was silent for a minute before pushing over a cutting board and knife along with some peppers and other things. She nodded to the island stool beside David. "You have to sit down to help."</p><p>David debated rebelling but knew she was right. He collapsed onto the stool and began to chop the peppers under Regina's direction. "How was your work?" He asked, not entirely sure what she did other than something to do with the law.</p><p>"It was okay, pretty boring with way too many meetings, but it means I don't have to work much tomorrow."</p><p>"That's good." David rolled his shoulder slowly to get feeling back into it.</p><p>"How was your therapy session?" She asked cautiously. She watched him shift in his seat. "I had to go to one, not your one but another, when I was struggling a few years back."</p><p>"With what?" He stopped chopping and looked up at her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"</p><p>"It's okay. I found I couldn't have babies. It was hard on me, and Robin, but I blamed myself. It helped, eventually, but it was hard, I dreaded it, and I hated having to open up. My mom taught me to keep secrets, it was hard to unlearn that."</p><p>There was silence in the kitchen, other than the dull thuds of knives hitting the cutting boards after slicing through things. "I didn't like it." He admitted. "I didn't really tell him much. It was just too hard, with the memories and the…" He trailed off. "I don't want to go back, but I think Robin's going to force me." He froze like a deer in headlights realising who he was talking to.</p><p>"Robin wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do. I know he seems like a pain in the ass, but if you told him you didn't want to he'd instantly drop everything to pull you out of it. You know he worries about you a lot?" She smiled softly as his cheeks pinkened. "He's not sure how or when to tell you but he really cares about you, he's just not sure how comfortable you are with him telling you that."</p><p>David fought not to shrug his shoulders. "It's not, I know my mom, Ruth I mean, I know she cared about us, she would say it sometimes, when she was really emotional, but she didn't really know how to say it either."</p><p>"She was your mom, I'm sure she loved you more than you'll ever know, both you and your brother. I know that therapy's hard, but sometimes it helps having someone outside of everything to talk to. Someone you can talk through things without worrying them or offending them. You don't have to go but it could help. And then once your time there's done you never have to see him ever again, unless you bump into him at Granny's." She saw his face scrunch up and quickly added, "It's this diner in the middle of town, most people at your school go there or Nino's Pizza and Gelato place."</p><p>David smiled faintly. He guessed she had a point, and it was helpful to know that David could get Robin to get him out of the sessions easily. He slid his cutting board complete with fully chopped peppers and spring onions over to Regina.</p><p>"These are pretty good, did you do much cooking before?"</p><p>"Nah, we were mostly in motels, they didn't have cookers, I perfected about a hundred microwave meals though."</p><p>Regina chuckled. "Don't tell Rolo or he'll try to live off of them."</p><hr/><p>David was officially exhausted, after the day of psychological and retail therapy, then the intense 'sibling bonding' with Roland and Margot. Combined with the warm meal and the medication David felt dead on his feet by seven, he managed to shove off Robin's fussing and made it up the stairs without Robin helping him, he ignored the feeling of Robin's eyes from the bottom of the stairs watching him. David was torn between being annoyed that Robin expected him to fall, and touched that he was being protective, David chose to see it as the latter, after reminding himself of Regina's words as he helped with dinner.</p><p>He pulled a pair of checked pyjamas pants and a marvel t-shirt, made to look like an old style comic book drawing. He was pretty sure he had seen the movie running on late night movie channels in a motel room in Tallahassee. He changed and threw the clothes he had worn after the shopping trip into the laundry basket beside the door. His room was nice, it was better than all of the motel rooms, more modern, it had been empty when he had first moved it, some of Robin's old clothes and spare bed stuff, but without him really noticing more things had been moved in. The latest was a television screen, it wasn't massive but it was skinnier and newer looking than any of the early 2000's models he had grown up around. His small wardrobe and chest of draws were full of the new clothes and shoes they had bought but he still fished out one of the old hoodies which had belonged to Robin. It was big and soft and it wasn't like anyone was going to see him choosing to wear it now he had other options.</p><p>He shrugged it on, taking extra care with his left arm, he zipped it up and looked at the crest over the heart, the university Regina, Robin, and Mal had attended together. He wondered if Mal had changed her mind about wanting to know him. He wondered if Robin would have chosen to raise him had he known. He should take the hoodie off in case someone saw… but no one would, he reminded himself.</p><p>Until the knock at the door.</p><p>"Er, come in?" He called after waiting a few seconds for someone to walk in without his answer.</p><p>Henry was there, smiling at him, he was freshly showered and now was in his own pyjamas instead of the school uniform the elementary and middle schools wore. At least David would be spared that, small mercies. "Hey. Sorry, are you about to go to bed?"</p><p>David shook his head. "No, no it's only like half seven." God he wanted to go to bed. But Henry was thirteen, David wasn't about to go to bed before someone younger than him. "What's up?"</p><p>"I was just going to play some Mario Kart in my room, mom and dad said I can, do you wanna play too? If you're not busy."</p><p>David looked at his bed then to Henry, his smile was wide. "I'm not busy. Mario Kart sounds cool, I actually know how to play that game."</p><p>David did not know how to play the game, at least not as well as Henry, he had learnt playing on old wiis in some of the better public schools and a couple of times in hospital waiting rooms. Henry was clearly a seasoned pro, he destroyed David several times, David won the fifth round as he was so bad he kept getting the rocket boxes.</p><p>"Did you play video games when you were living with your mom?"</p><p>"James and I had an old nintendo DS but it broke years ago, I played on wiis a little, some places have them in waiting rooms and stuff. A couple of years ago me and James er," he rubbed the back of his neck, "we 'liberated' an old Playstation 2 from a motel waiting room before moving to the next one, we like perfected this racing game."</p><p>"That's so cool." Henry beamed. "There's a cool game store in town, it's got loads of old consoles, and they have loads of things cheap. Maybe dad could take us."</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"I could ask if you like?"</p><p>"Maybe... Wanna play another round?"</p><p>"Are you tired? We could play again tomorrow instead."</p><p>"I'm not that tired." He rubbed his eyes. Let out a small groan then yawned. "God, I'm sick of being tired."</p><p>"Is it the medicine or the injury? Dad said you got thrown out of a car, that they had to sew you back together…"</p><p>He could see the regret on Henry's face for asking and gave him a soft smile, he still had to clench his fist and dig his nails into his palm to be able to stay in Henry's room with him rather than being sent back to that stretch of highway.<br/>"Yeah, I had to have surgery on my shoulder and my leg because they were a little messed up, but I had also busted my head open, they had to stitch it up, and I had a concussion. I hadn't really been awake when the last surgery happened, I had internal bleeding from being thrown out the car. The doctor said the concussion is going to be making me tired, the tablets don't help much, so together I'm just… yeah." He trailed off.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Henry said quietly.</p><p>"I'll be off them soon." David smiled, but he knew Henry didn't mean about that.</p><p>"Hey, I meant to give you this sooner, I just didn't know when." Henry stood from the chair and went over to his desk. David watched him open the desk draw and pull something out. "Here." He held out a case clearly holding a 3DS.</p><p>It took David a minute to realise that he was offering David the 3DS as a gift. "Henry this is, it's awesome but I can't take your thing."</p><p>"I have two, my mom and dad bought me one for my birthday, but my mom's mom gave me one too, I've never used it because, well we don't really like her. Me and my friends prefer to play xbox, but if you have one it means we can both play games, together if you like. There's some games in the case, I have a copy of the animal crossing and a couple of others we could play together. And some you can play on your own, it must be boring having to stay home with just dad."</p><p>David tilted his head, indicating that Henry had a point, and slowly took the case from Henry. "If you want it back just let me know."</p><p>Henry shook his head with the easy smile still stuck on his face. "Nah, it's yours."</p><hr/><p>Regina changed into her own pyjamas late that night, soft lounge pants and one of Robin's old t-shirts. Afterwards she walked through the house checking in on all of the kids.</p><p>Margot was long gone, cuddled up to a soft hippo teddy, Regina still moved the blankets around her and kissed her forehead. She was still so young that Regina could make out the baby she had been just a few years previous. Regina made sure the night light was projecting stars around the room before pulling herself from the room.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Roland was still a little awake. "Hey baby." She whispered, smiling when she saw the sock monkey teddy tucked under his arm, he used to carry it everywhere, now she only glimpsed the worn toy when Roland was asleep. "Time to sleep." He was tired enough that he didn't protest, he snuggled down as she tucked him in.</p><p>"Night mommy." He mumbled, finally shutting his eyes as she kissed his cheek.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Henry was next on her round, He was in bed, his table light on as he read a book. "Hey mom."</p><p>"Hi honey. Time to settle down soon." Her voice was low even though there was little chance of disturbing the other sleeping kids in the rooms down the hall.</p><p>"Okay, I only have a few pages left in this chapter."</p><p>Regina smiled at her oldest child, he was so clearly turning into a proper teenager, but she could still see the three year old he had been when he had first moved in.</p><p>"I gave David the DS your mom got me." He had learnt a long time ago that Cora was not really a grandmother, she just wasn't. He knew she had only sent him the gift in a bid to outshine his parents.</p><p>"You did?"</p><p>Henry shrugged. "Yeah, I already have one, and he doesn't have anything. And I feel bad for him having to listen to dad's bad jokes all day."</p><p>Regina couldn't help but laugh. "We all feel sorry for him having to listen to them. That was very nice of you, Henry, you're a good boy. I'm proud of you."</p><p>Henry shrugged again. "I'm just doing what you and dad taught me."</p><p>Regina smiled at him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Ten more minutes til lights off, okay?"</p><p>"I'll be done in five." He assured her. "Night mom."</p><p>"Sleep tight honey."</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>She peaked in on David, but already knew that he was fast asleep, she had seen him before. She noticed a phone about to fall off of the bed so she walked over and moved the old model phone to the side table, when the screen lit up she came face to face with a picture of David, and two other people who she assumed were Ruth and James. Ruth didn't look like Mal, not obviously anyway. Mal had almost white hair, Ruth had dark, Mal's blue eyes stood out while she was pretty sure Ruth didn't, though she couldn't tell from the blurry picture.</p><p>She looked back at the sleeping teen and the only one left of the Nolan family, other than the guy who they had been running from for a decade. She had realised that he was someone who ran cold during the time he had lived with them, but she was still surprised to see him wearing a hoodie in bed. It took her mere moments to realise it was Robin's. She remembered her husband practically living in it when they were undergrads, she had been with Daniel, she shouldn't have been noticing Robin, but when had that ever stopped her? She tucked David's blanket over him and gently brushed his hair out of his face. She could see Mal in his face, more than she would like to admit after everything, but she could also see Robin. She wondered, not for the first time, what a biological child of her and Robin would look like, she wouldn't change her kids for the world, but she was still curious.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Robin was washing up the last few dishes at the sink when two arms snaked around his waist. Even if they hadn't been alone in the house he would have known it was Regina. He smiled as she kissed his shoulder. He shook his hands over the sink then turned to face her.</p><p>He dipped his head down, at first he kissed her softly, but soon their kissing deepened, their hands caressing each other as though this was their last ever chance.</p><p>Later they settled on the couch, Robin cradled a beer in one hand,his other arm was wrapped around Regina as she leant back against his chest. She sipped wine as he flicked through their DVR searching for a crime show they watched and pulled apart inaccuracies in the laws they claimed to have.</p><p>"It's weird having a full house."</p><p>Robin was surprised to hear her say that, it took him a few moments to nod and speak. "I know it's not what we planned-"</p><p>"-We always talked about possibly adopting in the future. This is just a quicker version, and we didn't exactly adopt him."</p><p>"I don't even know if he's going to want to stay. He keeps shutting me out, or letting me in a little, then completely shutting down."</p><p>"That's progress Robbi," She used the old nickname from their youth to get him to pay attention. "I talked with him, he said he didn't talk much at therapy, I told him about my experience with it, I think he's going to try and talk to the shrink next time. It might help him."</p><p>"The shrink, Doctor Hopper, rang me this afternoon, he didn't want to speak in private around David as he wasn't that forthcoming, he's been asked to test David for PTS, he said it'll take weeks of therapy to be able to give an accurate diagnosis."</p><p>"It would explain a lot."</p><p>"Yeah… I just don't know how he'll deal with it."</p><p>"We'll all deal with it, together." She pulled the arms he had around her closer and pressed a kiss to the back of his knuckles. "And don't worry too much, he'll slowly let you in, the kids love him, he fits in here, he just doesn't know it yet."</p><p>"Yeah," Robin said through a chuckle, "the kids are acting like he's a new puppy." The two indulged themselves and allowed themselves to laugh fully in what seemed like weeks. "Though," he said when they had finally recovered, "he does tilt to head to one side like puppies…"</p><p>"Ha! I wonder who he gets that from!"</p><p>"I do not! I'm a grown man, not a puppy!"</p><p>"Uh huh, press play already."</p><p>Robin rolled his eyes. "Yes ma'am." He sighed loudly and dramatically about ten seconds into the show when Regina's cell chimed.</p><p>Regina rolled her eyes back at him. "Oh hush." She leaned forward to snatch her phone off the coffee table, hoping it wasn't about to be some long message from Eva she was going to have to concentrate to read.</p><p>'Mallory De Vane." The cell read. She sucked in a breath to read it.</p><p>"Who is it?"</p><p>Regina didn't answer straight away she just read. She had had to read it three times.</p><p>"Gina? Who is it? Are you okay?" Robin frowned, staring at his wife without even trying to catch sight of the words on the phone, he was too concerned with why she seemed to have paled several shades.</p><p>"It's Mal." She said, her voice completely flat. Reading the words made her feel sick, saying them out loud left a bitter taste in her mouth. "Ruth and James' funeral and memorial service next week. She wants me to pass on the information to you and 'the others'. Apparently we're all welcome."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David walked back into his room wrapped in one of the big fluffy towels which had been left in his room by either Regina or Robin. He collapsed onto the bed, it was only morning time but he already felt exhausted.</p><p>His first outpatient physiotherapy session seemed easy from the outside, he had massages on his shoulder and leg, then they did what seemed like basic and easy stretches. But they felt like he had just done the Iron Man challenge. He led on his back, slowly breathing in, and out.</p><p>He grabbed his phone from the side table, checked the time, no new messages but that was unsurprising. Quarter to twelve, hours left in the day, hours since Robin and Regina had told him about the funeral, hours since the police had knocked on the door with a box of items found in the car wreck.</p><p>He balled up his hands and rubbed his eyes with his fists. He needed to get dressed before he fell asleep in just a towel.</p><p>He needed to get up.</p><p>Get up, get up, get up.</p><p>He finally pushed himself back up, groaning out loud as he did, it was easier to push himself to his feet now he had gotten going. He grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants from the wardrobe, underwear, socks, and a burgundy sweatshirt which was made to look like an aged college shirt, UCLA.</p><p>He pulled the clothes on, then dumped the towel into the laundry basket, as he had been told to do. He pulled on the leg brace, the physio said he would only need a couple more weeks of wearing it, maybe even less, David hoped he was right.</p><p>He tried to leave the room, he wanted to, but the box was on his desk. His feet took him to the desk. He fell into the desk chair, it rolled back ever so slightly, he rolled it back in, and opened the box up.</p><p>All the things were in evidence bags. That's what his whole life had been, an investigation, a case closed, 'accidental death', the police had talked to him, he hadn't really listened. Robin had been there, David just had to hope, trust, that he had listened, would tell him if he needed to know.</p><p>The first couple of evidence bags contained shreds of paper, an entire sketchbook worth, blown to pieces, some scorched from the fire. A couple of sketchbooks were intact, he placed them on the desk, the sketchbooks had been part of a gift from James on his last birthday, David wasn't sure how James had afforded them, or even if he had bought them, but it had still been one of the best gifts he had gotten. He let his fingers trail over the leather cover before looking back into the box.</p><p>James' wallet was there, the only David had given to him on James' thirteenth birthday with the engraved batman on it. James had always claimed to not be sentimental and David would have believed him had it not been for him keeping it. He felt his stomach turn before he could open the wallet- James had never let him even glance inside of it, he had once punched him when a younger David had gotten hold of it once.</p><p>If James hadn't wanted him to look inside he should have stayed alive, David thought bitterly.</p><p>There was the tearing sound of the velcro then David came face to face with something he hadn't expected.</p><p>There were cards in there, a lot of cards, so many David was surprised the wallet had even stayed open. At first he had thought they were credit cards, stolen when left unattended or pickpocketed. But as he tipped the wallet upside down he saw that they weren't. They were business cards, motel business cards, and high school school ID cards. David sat frowning at them for a solid minute before he flicked through them. The older ones were discoloured, worn where a young James had run his little fingers over the names and places. All the places they had stayed in for years. The IDs were harder to look at, James' smirking face ageing in the photographs, the way he smiled to look cool. He stared at the last one, the newest one from Leonard Harvey High school in Pittsburg, just a few weeks previous. It felt so close David could almost hear him calling his name.</p><p>But then he remembered the fact that his brother nearly always called him Davey, not David. And that he was one hundred percent dead and not calling him down for lunch. David sighed and began to pack away the cards back into the wallet. He was holding them in his left hand when he felt his shoulder twinge, he dropped the cards and rubbed his shoulder.</p><p>It was only when he dropped them that he saw the intruder in the pack. He tried to pick it up but it slipped from his fingertips. "Shit, fuck." He mumbled. The third time trying he managed to pick it up. It took him a minute to realise what it was, a small wallet size photograph, popular years before his own birth.</p><p>He nearly didn't recognise his mother. She looked so young, her hair long and curled, makeup on her face in order to look nice rather than to cover up signs of abuse, she was smiling widely, she was clearly pregnant, barely showing but clear from the way her hands rested on her stomach.<br/>A man stood at her side, his arm around her in a loving hold.<br/>Robert, the man who David had been led to believe was his father, he looked young, strong, tanned, he was holding a baby in his arms which must have been James. He looked so proud, a level of pride that he hadn't seen on anyone other than Robin when David caught him watching any of David's siblings.<br/>He searched the man's broad face for any sign of himself, any hint whether Robert had ever believed David was his son. There was no trace. He could see James' in Robert's face, though, he remembered his mom being so mad when James had once cropped his hair as short as he could, like Robert's in the photograph, it made sense now, why Ruth had reacted how she had, why James had done it.</p><p>His eyes kept going back to his mom. She was pregnant. There had been blood tests to prove he was Robin's son, there had been DNA tests against his mother's corpse, but he still hoped against all hope that there was a possibility Ruth was his mom. At least then there would be one last thing ruining his life. At least she had wanted him. He turned it over and saw his mother's neat writing. "Robert, Ruth, and James Robert Nolan, 2003. Baby William Robert, February 14th - June 29th 2003, born too soon."</p><p>David did some quick mental maths, and when that failed he brought out his phone, flicking through the calendar app on his phone, counting forward nine months from February. Sure enough nearly exactly nine months before his birth, on the 8th of November, 2003. He dropped the photograph on the table face up, he frowned down at it, he didn't know what to think, how to think. What did it mean? Had he been born on the exact day that the baby his mom had never had? Had she lied about it? Then there was the middle name; he had always seen his written purely as an initial, his mom refused to admit it but he knew it stood for Robert, just like James', same as the baby he had replaced.</p><p>A bang on the door made him jump. He suddenly remembered being very young, hiding in with James in his bed, a bang, James holding him tightly.</p><p>"David, lunch is ready. Sunshine? Are you okay?"</p><p>David didn't have time to answer before Robin entered the room. He watched his frown soften as his eyes flickered from David to the box and back to him again. "Hey kid, are you okay?"</p><p>The soft voice spurred David into action. "I'm," he dumped the wallet, cards, and photograph into the box with several thuds, "fine." He stood up and walked towards the door pausing to let Robin out first.</p><hr/><p>After lunch David found himself sequestered in the downstairs office which Robin shared with Regina. There was a massive bookcase with so many books David wondered if they were all about law, he wanted to look through them, see if there was anything he would enjoy reading, instead he was forced to sit at Regina's desk, across the room from Robin at his, and take a test for each subject he would be taking at his new school to see where he's at in all of them.</p><p>He had tried the english test first, but as soon as they started talking about homonyms and auxiliary verses he realised that being good at reading and doing good in written tests and papers wasn't going to get him anywhere in the test. He knew plenty of terms… just clearly not enough.</p><p>The science wasn't much better, this time he hadn't got as far when</p><p>David reached into his pocket to pull out his cellphone. If he wasn't going to be able to even do these tests he wasn't going to bother keeping up a pretense.</p><p>"David, you're doing a test, put your mobile phone away."</p><p>Robin's voice made him jump, he turned and looked at Robin who was staring at the papers on his desk, with no sign of having looked up at him at all. Apparently professors, like teachers, had eyes in the back of their heads. But he couldn't really think of that, instead he rolled his eyes, slammed the test paper on the desk, and crossed his arms over the test. "Why not? It's not like I'm going to pass them anyway."</p><p>Robin still didn't look up, instead he circled a word on the paper in front of him, he made a quick note besides the circle. "It doesn't matter if you pass them or not, they'll let your teachers know where you're up to and what classes to put you in."</p><p>"Then they can just fail me on them and put me in the stupid classes. I'm not doing them."</p><p>Robin finally looked up and over to David. "I know that they're boring but they're important, it'll take an hour or so of your time, I'm sure you can cope without your phone and do the work for that long." He was used to students and Henry being teenagers for long enough to know how they would find any excuse not to do them. "You're a smart kid, you're not going to be put in lower classes; you can do it, just concentrate."</p><p>"I can't do it!" the chair scraped against the wooden floor as David stood up, he could feel his heart pounding in his veins, and pain in his head as it throbbed. He knew he was seeing red but he was powerless to stop it, he couldn't stop as he continued to shout at Robin. "I've barely even gone to school schools, I know none of this!"</p><p>Robin didn't react to David's outburst, he wasn't used to seeing such things at the university he taught at but he had worked in a high school for a year, he was used to them. "Stop shouting at me and calm down. Just sit down and focus and I'm sure you'll be fine. No one is going to judge you if you get a couple of the questions wrong."</p><p>The non-reaction only worked to anger David more. Instead of lowering his voice he shouted louder, yelling again that he couldn't answer the questions and wouldn't be doing it.</p><p>Robin placed his hands on his hips as he gave David what Regina termed his dad look, it wasn't on purpose just a muscle memory. "Yes, you will. You could have been done with half of one by now! I have work I need to be getting on with doing too, I can't sit by your side babysitting you so you don't go on your phone for an hour or so."</p><p>Robin was met with yet more shouting: David repeating his statement that he wouldn't be doing the tests, and him calling himself stupid, as well as other things which just didn't make sense to Robin. This just didn't seem like the David he had been getting to know. And it was now getting under his skin.<br/>"DAVID!" He finally shouted, silencing his son. "That is enough! You aren't stupid, these are standard tests for your age I'm sure you'll do fine in them. You don't get to take whatever has made you angry out on me. I'm trying to help you. So, sit down, shut up, and do the bloody tests!"</p><p>A beat of silence.</p><p>David threw his cellphone onto the desk, it skidded across the top from the force of the throw, there was a smash as it hit the floor. "</p><p>STOP TRYING TO FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU DON'T GET TO COME IN AND PRETEND TO BE MY DAD WHEN MY WHOLE LIFE YOU COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT!"</p><p>Robin's anger flooded from him, his crossed arms dropped from his chest to his sides, his mouth fell open and the anger on his face softened. "That's not fair." His voice was quiet and subdued. "If I had known… I'm trying here, David."</p><p>"Maybe if you had tried before now," David threw open the door, "you could have kept track of all the women you got pregnant, and I could have been in one place long enough to know how to spell my fucking name, instead of being stupid and fucked up!" By the end of his heated response he had made it into the hall, out of Robin's reach, even if he had tried.</p><hr/><p>Robin hadn't been able to move, David words had shocked him, frozen him into place. He wanted to protest, he wanted to chase after David, to have not let him leave the room in the first place, to have been able to calm him down, to be able to deny David's words irrefutably.</p><p>Even now when he could finally move a little he couldn't find the ability to follow David. Instead he ran his hands over his face and through his hair.</p><p>"Fuck." He finally said, with force, his eyes fell on David's smashed cell on the ground. Luckily, it was a dated model so instead of being completely ruined it had come apart, it was fixable. Much easier to fix than whatever just happened had been.</p><p>While staring at the phone on the ground he found his own phone in his hand, he had gone to press on Regina's number, as he did whenever there was an issue with the other kids he didn't know how to solve, but neither of them would know how to help David, they barely knew him. He let out a soft sigh, it was unfair to put this on her, especially while she was working, she'd kill him for it later, but it was the right choice for now.</p><p>He scrolled down his contacts list until he reached the newest contact in his phone 'DR Archie Hopper - shrink'. His thumb hovered over the phone icon. Something had been wrong with David, he had been angry, but he just didn't seem like the David he had been getting to know. Or perhaps this was the David he really was, how would Robin know the difference? How could the shrink help when this was possibly more of a problem with his parenting?</p><p>After all, David had been right. He had been good friends with Mal for years before their drunken hook up, he knew her, he knew it hadn't been like her to just stop talking to him completely for nearly a year. She had disappeared without a trace nearly three months after their encounter, she was gone for nearly eight months, she was changed when she had come back, not necessarily physically but internally. He should have asked. He should have known. He had been too busy with his own life; his new job in the DA's office, flirting with Regina, trying to make a move on her now she was no longer with Daniel- he had been more than happy when Mal got him a date with Regina, in part because it was a sign that his and Mal's relationship was on the way back to normal.</p><p>If he had asked then and there, if he had put together all the bits and pieces Mal would have told him, he knew she would have, he could have found David, he could have met Ruth and discovered if she was the best choice or not for himself. He could have fought for custody and won.</p><p>He finally slipped the phone back into his pocket, undialed, and went upstairs fairly certain he couldn't mess it up any worse than he already had.</p><hr/><p>Robin had expected to find David's bedroom in a state of disarray, but it was just as empty as usual, instead of everything being smashed up it was still perfectly tidy the only hint was a small bloody mark on the wall which took Robin a few seconds to realise came from David punching the wall.</p><p>David himself was curled up on his bed, his head at the foot of his bed, his arms wrapped tightly around his head as though shielding himself from a bomb blast. Or from him, Robin winced as he thought that.</p><p>He rolled the desk chair from the desk towards the bed, making sure to make some noise to warn David what Robin was doing. When it was next to where David's head was still hidden Robin took a seat on it.</p><p>He stared down at David's blonde waves waiting to see if he would respond, when he didn't Robin ran his hand through his own hair, then spoke. "If I had known you had existed I would have found you, Sunshine, no matter where in the country. I would have found you, I would have gone to the ends of the world to find you." He could see David's tense form slowly relax. "You're right though, I should have been more observant with Mal, there were signs but I was too happy having her back in my life to question where she had been. I wish I had talked to her, insisted on answers, if I had I would have been able to know you."</p><p>"You had a life." David mumbled into his mattress. He moved his hands from in his hair to folded around his head so that his face was still hidden from Robin. He couldn't stand to look at him, not when Robin was being so nice to him after he had lost it on him, he bit the inside of his cheek instead.</p><p>"I would have made it work." Robin insisted, still using his quiet, soothing voice, there was no hesitance in his voice. He took a slow and deep breath. "I know you might not believe it yet, but you're… you're my son, and I would do anything for you, just as I would Henry, or Roland, or Margot. I know you don't believe it, don't know it, not yet… but I love you." He tentatively reached out and ran his hand through David's blonde hair, watching the strands curl around his fingers as they moved. He heard David mumble what Robin thought was an apology, but his head was still hidden away from him. "And you're not stupid, not at all, not even a little." He let out a small laugh trying to lighten the conversation. "You have a smart mouth, you wouldn't be able to come out with your quick remarks at me if you weren't as clever as you are, Sunshine."</p><p>Robin watched as David stayed still and silent, he moved his hand away from his hair, when he did David seemed to tense up again, Robin moved his hand back into his hair and slowly stroked his head, waiting until he relaxed again to begin talking once more. "I can teach you what I can, it's been a while since I was in high school but I'm sure I remember some of it. Anything else I'll find a tutor, five tutors, whatever you need. We'll get you back up to speed."</p><p>Robin watched as his son slowly moved his knees from his chest, his arms from his head, as though caught in slow motion he sat up, not looking at Robin until he was fully upright. His eyes were rimmed with red from tears and slightly bloodshot, he had clearly been crying, and when his nervous eyes finally flicked to Robin he could see the shame in him.<br/>Robin smiled softly even though his heart was breaking for his son. "There's that pretty boy face." He teased lightly, his tone marinated in fondness." He watched the corners of David's mouth flicker upwards but it seemed to take a lot of effort. He looked like he could do with a several hour nap.<br/>He restrained himself from frowning when he thought of the empty look which had been in David's eyes when he had been shouting downstairs, even compared to now where there was hurt and guilt, but also life. Robin was now certain that it was like David hadn't been in his own body.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't… I don't know what happened, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I… shit."</p><p>"Hey, hey," Robin shushed David's stuttering and bumbling apologies, he reached out and took David's hands out of his hair which he had started to pull, seemingly without realising. "It's okay, Sunshine, it's okay."</p><p>"It is't, I shouldn't have said all those things, I shouldn't have gotten so mad, I tried to… I tried to stop, I, fuck." He dug his fists into his eyes but Robin took them again, this time he kept hold of them to stop David from hurting himself. He quietened down when he felt Robin's thumb gently brush over his injured knuckles.</p><p>"David…. I don't think that you were fully conscious when you were saying all of that. I don't think that you could have stopped yourself even if you wanted to."</p><p>"... What's wrong with me?"</p><p>David's voice was barely above a whisper, and sounded so broken that Robin moved from his place on the desk chair onto the bed beside him and had pulled him into his arms, cradling the back of his head, in seconds. He felt David's hands on his back, then clutching at his shirt, then burying his head against his shoulder. Robin held him tighter, rocking him as he had on the night Mal had visited. It was the only thing he could do. "We'll find out." Robin whispered. "We'll get you help."</p><hr/><p>Robin waited until everyone had gone to bed that night before he put his shoes and jacket on and slipped out of the house into the night.</p><hr/><p>Mallory de Vane had been going over both the final choice for funeral flowers and her opening statement for the divorce settlement she would be suing for in court the next day when the bell of her door had sounded. Still stuck in her thoughts she forgot to check the peephole, something she regretted as soon as she opened the door.</p><p>"Are you going to invite me in?"</p><p>Her own words from the last time she had seen Robin echoed out of his mouth and she found herself stepping aside.</p><p>She watched as he walked into the penthouse, his hands in the pockets of his slim leg jeans, his jacket was the sort that someone would wear on a hike yet the crisp white shirt underneath looked expensive and professional, and despite his relaxed body language there was a baked in anger on his face: He was made of contradictions.</p><p>"Drink?" She finally offered.</p><p>She received a jerky nod and watched him turn and head to the kitchen area. The last time he had been in her loft had been celebrating her promotion, him and Regina, their friends all around them, laughing and joking as easily as any friends who had known each other for as long as they had. She would give anything to turn back the clock to that night, to any night before Robin had found out, before Regina had found out, before they hated her.</p><p>She moved to her large drinks cabinet and picked out the dry gin she knew he favoured, she poured herself one too, she slid his over to him, downed her own, poured another for herself before putting the bottle away, though she was tempted to just sip from it every time she needed to. "So?"</p><p>Robin clenched his jaw, he had lost it at her last time he had to fight the same this time, he wasn't here for that, not today. "I need to know about Ruth. Everything, anything."</p><p>"Why?" She watched him tilt his head to the side in confusion in that puppy dog sort of way he always had, the thing which took him from unattainably hot to attainable and hot to her high school self. "She's dead, you don't need to try and fight her for custody of the kid, she is dead."</p><p>Robin looked down at the marble countertop, he bit his lip, he had been ready to fire back but the way she spat the last bit out was too much like David's earlier shouts that he couldn't "I know." He said softly instead. He looked back up at her, his lack of resistance seemed to have worked on her. "But Ruth had a massive impact on David, both before and after she passed, and I need to understand her if I'm ever going to help him."</p><p>Mal sighed. "Ask him then, the kid, get him to tell you. I haven't seen her in years."</p><p>Robin let out a scoffing laugh and shook his head in disbelief. "Really? Fucking hell Mal; 'the kid' can barely get through the day without having at least three panic attacks, I feel like I spend all my time waiting for him to have a complete breakdown, I have to fight to get him to tell me anything about himself, David's made it clear that Ruth is off topic. You may not want him but you claim to have wanted to give him his best chance when you gave him to her, so you must have some even minimal amount of love for him, give him his best chance now. You're not smearing her memory, you're helping her son, our son, I never met her but I have a feeling that Ruth would do anything to help David, especially if she saw how he is now."</p><p>Mal turned her gin glass on the counter. She shook her head at herself. "Ruth helped raise me. My parents were brilliant when they were around and when they were on the wagon. But Dad loved coke a bit too much, mom was a winey, or anything if it was around. But Ruthie was always there. She was only five years older than me but she was always so maternal, it was all she wanted to do, she didn't care about going to college which annoyed our parents but they hoped she'd change her mind. But when she became a teenager she was blowing off school, hanging out with these assholes, with Robert, going to parties, doing drugs and alcohol, sleeping around. My parents switched her schools thinking it would solve it all. She… had a breakdown. I found her in the bath tub one night... " She took a long sip of her gin.</p><p>"She was suicidal." He watched her nod. "She suffered from depression?"</p><p>"Manic depression, actually, that's what they called bipolar in those days. She went into a facility as an inpatient, my parents got treatment for their addictions, they got clean and she got better." She smiled at the memory. "It was probably the best our family had been- when they figured out the right dose."</p><p>Robin nodded slowly. He thought through all the things David had let slip, it made sense, in combination with the situations she was in.</p><p>"Then she and Robert began dating again. She was still stable, but she had a thing for bad boys, she mixed her meds with alcohol, and other things, some just to stay awake and keep up with the others Robert flirted with. She graduated and moved out, she got pregnant with her first son, James, and got married."</p><p>Robin took a sip of his own gin. "And then?"</p><p>Mal sighed. "I don't know. Robert was a mean drunk? Robert got involved in some things, with people, he shouldn't have? Ruthie stopped taking her meds? Our parents died, the abuse got words, she got pregnant, she had a miscarriage. She took the baby from me, I was fairly sure it would fix her, she perhaps wasn't the most stable but she loved him. She clearly looked after him or he'd be dead."</p><p>Robin had been feeling sorry for her, he had been feeling sorry for Ruth, he still did feel sorry for Ruth, but his anger flared up again. "Are you…?" He scoffed and shook his head again. "Fucking hell! I mean Jesus Mal! Do you have any idea what shit he had to go through? How fucking damaged he is from the life he's gone through? Of course you don't because you want nothing to do with him, and even if you did he wouldn't tell you because he is terrified about opening up. He didn't deserve to go through all of that! James didn't either. Ruth was struggling, she deserved to get help, she shouldn't have been given a baby. He might not be dead but he's so damaged from his life that he doesn't seem to be able to accept that he's loved. Do you get how fucked up that is?"</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"And here I was thinking you were here to talk."</p><p>"I was. I am! But stop trying to make out it was the right choice to leave David with her because we both know that's bullshit." She opened her mouth while looking at the countertop and he just shook his head. "Don't try to lie to me, I've known you for too long."</p><p>"I've told you all I know."</p><p>"David's birth." Robin's words were out of his mouth before he had even thought about them. "I want to know about our son's birth."</p><p>"What's to tell? It was like any birth, go watch a fucking youtube video or something, it's the same thing. Why would you want to know about the time I was half naked with my legs open in front of strangers?" She tried to joke, despite all appearances she wanted to avoid yet more shouting.</p><p>"I barely know anything about our son other than the fact he's sixteen, was born november, and has a sweet tooth. I didn't get to go to his birth. I just want to know, I don't know…" he ran his hand through his hair, then rubbed his neck as he shook his head, he really didn't know. It was probably what he had really come for, to find out something about his child, it was a pointless task, Mal was completely checked out of this. He should just go. He took a step away from the island to leave.</p><p>"April."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"David was born in April. He was meant to be born in June, nine months after we took our LSATS, he was born three weeks early."</p><p>Robin frowned in confusion."But the social worker said…" He trailed off. He had never put much thought into it, he had taken the blood test and been told he matched with David, he hadn't needed to do the mental maths to determine if David could be his. "She gave him a fake birthday?"</p><p>"I suppose." She watched him cradling his glass, he had barely touched it, he must have driven to her place; the more kids he had the more he seemed to drive carefully, with four in his house she was surprised he took the drink at all. "Did you not look in that envelope I gave you?"</p><p>"I've been a little busy." He told her dryly.</p><p>Mal rolled her eyes. "His birth certificate's in there, not his real one, he might not even have a real one, Ruth might have had someone forge one, fuck knows. Anyway," she shook her head getting back to her train of thought, "it's this souvenir one some hospitals give, all the information there is about his birth is on it. I gave it to Ruthie and told her that she should give it to the baby one day. You should look at it, your name's on it. There's some photographs in there too, maybe some letters?" She shook her head and waved her hand in a vague and dismissive gesture. "I only glimpsed inside, it wasn't anything to do with me, I'm surprised I ever kept it."</p><p>"Yeah, god forbid you even gave the false impression that you might possibly give a single shit about our kid."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"I'm guessing you're not going to let us get back to being the friends we had been before all this."</p><p>"You destroyed that the day you decided not to tell me about our baby, and you set it into stone each and every day which went by where you didn't tell me and didn't care that he was out there somewhere in danger. That was all you Mallory. I just wish I had known sooner, I wish you had never come back into my life after that night." He downed the last of his gin, slammed the glass down onto the counter and started to walk towards the door. "I'll see you at the funeral."</p><hr/><p>He found himself driving around, he needed to clear his head and a house was too small to be able to do that. He only stopped driving when he was nearly three towns over, he stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank. He knew Regina wouldn't be happy that he had gone to see Mal, she wouldn't have liked that he had gotten mad and upset, that he hadn't talked to her first. He picked up a bouquet of flowers outside the store, she'd still be upset but it was worth a shot. He went inside and paid for the flowers and the gas before setting off home.</p><p>It was nearly an hour from leaving Mal's apartment to getting home, thanks to his long drive and having to stop for gas. He kicked off his boots, grimacing when one of them fell on the floor from the stand, he righted it, hung up his jacket, put his keys on the holder and carried the flowers into the kitchen.</p><p>After he set them in a vase of water he walked back and was about to head up to bed when he heard his voice being said. He looked towards it, the living room doors were open as usual, so from his place in the hall he could see the top of David's head from his blue eyes up poking over the top of the couch.</p><p>Despite the long day he turned from the stairs and walked into the living room towards his son. "Hey David, whatcha doing up?"</p><p>"Wasn't tired." David restrained a yawn. Robin sent him an amused look which just said 'bullshit'. It was too late for David to keep up with the pretense of rolling his eyes. "Couldn't sleep."</p><p>"Couldn't sleep?"</p><p>"Nightmares." David admitted quietly.</p><p>Robin bit the inside of his lip in an attempt not to let out a pitying noise. "Scoot over." Robin nodded his head in the direction which would make David sit up more.</p><p>"You don't have to stay with me." David told him sitting up, Robin sat in the space close enough that David was leaning on him, David didn't move away, instead he allowed himself to lean against him.</p><p>"None of that." Robin shushed him. "What're we watching?"</p><p>"Erm, it's a superhero show, you can change the channel."</p><p>"I'm good with this." Robin led his arm across the top of the couch above David.</p><p>"Where were you?"</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"You weren't in bed, you came from outside."</p><p>"I needed some gas." Robin told him easily. He immediately felt wrong. "I went to see Mallory first."</p><p>David hesitated. "Why?"</p><p>"I wanted to talk about your mom, Ruth, to find out about her, I know it's hard for you to talk about, so I went to her."</p><p>David hesitated again. "Were you askin' somethin' bad?" He asked quietly. "I mean about things she did which weren't good. I didn't mean to let it slip-."</p><p>"Telling me doesn't put you at fault and it's not a bad thing. I want to know things like this, anything, everything. It wasn't anything bad, I just know you had hinted at some of her behaviour and actions, I wanted to see if Mallory had any answers."</p><p>"... Did she know why she was how she was?"</p><p>Robin looked down at David whose eyes were on the tv but it was clear he wasn't watching his show. "She wasn't well. She had bipolar and found it hard to manage, it's why she did some of the things you've said, she wasn't in control of her illness, I'm sure what she went through with Robert made it worse." He bit his lip for a second, thinking of all he and Mal had talked about. "I know that she loved you, though, more than you'll know until you become a parent yourself."</p><p>David swallowed deeply and bit his lip, unable to find his words, if there were any words, he just nodded, hoping Robin would see.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about her? Your mom, Ruth, I mean."</p><p>David shook his head. "I'm too tired. I just want to watch some tv."</p><p>"Okay." Robin said softly, he was surprised he had even talked that much to Robin about Ruth, or asked the questions. He moved his hands ready to push himself to his feet, to go to bed and give David his space to process.</p><p>"No!" David's words spilled out of his mouth too quickly. "I mean you can stay if you like…." He shook his head knowing that it was so thinly veiled that he may as well ask it. "Can you stay with me, just for an episode?"</p><p>All the arguing that day and night felt worth it for that question. He knew David could change his mind in ten minutes time, or become a sealed vault again tomorrow, but at that moment David was letting him in and asking for intimacy. "Sure, Sunshine, then you need to get some sleep."</p><p>"That's never gonna go away." David sighed but it didn't sound even a little annoyed anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not anti Mal but this fic is, there's not a lot more of her going to be seen as she's not wanting to be involved, but I love fierce and protective daddy Robin, there will be more people he will stick up for David against</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina hadn't reamed him as much as he thought she would have when he explained where he had been, after finally climbing into bed at two in the morning, she had understood why he had done it, but had stopped him when he had gone to get back up to look through the envelope which was still left in the kitchen, and forced him to get some sleep.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning the family settled into their usual routine, Regina and Robin woke early, Robin took his usual jog (he was getting older and needed to stay in shape after all), when he came home Regina was dressed and readying herself for work, Margot was already awake and playing, he shepherd his only daughter upstairs to get dressed for school, he woke up his sons before taking a shower himself.</p>
<p>David was the last one downstairs, having refused Robin's usual offer of help getting dressed, the other kids were also dressed and already digging into their breakfast, he joined them, Regina giving him a look when he tried to steal Robin's coffee, he ended up with a juice instead.</p>
<p>David rode with Robin as they took the kids to their schools while Regina went to work. The car rides with Robin were getting easier, though he did have to keep his breathing calm whenever Robin had to break suddenly, all the while Robin was thinking about the envelope.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Robin only managed to get to be in the kitchen alone later that day, he had helped homeschool David before encouraging him to take a nap, an hour later when he was certain David would be fast asleep Robin walked to the kitchen, reached into the mail cubby, pulled out the heavy, brown, A4 sized envelope.</p>
<p>Robin leant against the kitchen island and placed the envelope down. He stared at it, his fingers drumming on the countertop, 'Mallory', was written in loopy blue writing. Ruth's writing. He had such complicated feelings for this woman he had never met; the woman who had both damaged his son and brought him up, she was both parts of the good and the bad inside him, her life and her death.</p>
<p>"Fuck it." He whispered under his breath, he picked up the envelope and opened up the unsealed end. He reached inside tentatively, as though expecting a miniature alligator to be lurking inside, instead his fingers brushed against glossy photo paper, a whole pile of them by the feeling of it.</p>
<p>He pulled them out and undid the elastic band before finally turning them over.</p>
<p>The first photograph was of a very small looking baby, wrapped in a towel with one of those hats newborns were given in hospital, Robin placed the rest of the pile on the counter so he could more carefully examine what he assumed to be David's first photograph, sure enough, like he had suspected, it was taken inside of a hospital. Mal had taken it, he realised. He wondered if she had taken it for herself, or for Ruth, or if maybe, just maybe, she had planned to send it to him. David looked so small, Mal had said he was born early when they had talked the night before, but Robin could imagine being there, being too scared to hold his son at first, then once he had he wouldn't have been able to put him down.</p>
<p>It took him minutes to tear his eyes away from his son's face to the teddy in the top right corner of the crib. It was a small Winnie The Pooh Steiff teddy, one of a pair from his mother's collection, one she had insisted he give to Mal, the other to Regina, he had only done so because he loved his mother, and her extensive steiff bear collection was something of a joke in his friendship group. Mal had given it to David, at least for the picture, she had given a little bit of him to their son. It should have been touching, it was touching, but it worked to strengthen the fact that she had chosen to hide David from him.</p>
<p>The next few photographs were from David's first year of life, mostly with Ruth and James, Ruth looked every inch the doting mother, and James, who was around a year or so older, was always beaming at David. He was clearly loved. There was even a photograph of the three of them and Robert, by the looks of it it was David's catholic baptism; all of them smiling as though they were a normal happy family. Robert looked normal, which only helped to unsettle Robert, there were no signs that he was violent, abusive, a criminal, he was just smiling proudly, the father of two sons, a blue collar man working hard to put money in their pockets to give the boys a future.</p>
<p>As he made his way through the pile David got older and older, he started to look more like the teenager Robin was familiar with. His hair grew into curls, white blonde, a mischievous and wild smile. Regina had told him so often that David had looked like him when he was a teenager, but now he was finally forced to admit the resemblance, a three year old David looked the spitting image of Robin when he had been that age, down to the same shaped smile.</p>
<p>The older David got the less Robin was able to smile, David was smiling less, he was grubbier, most of the pictures he was as close to Ruth or James as he could get, more than a handful of them contained a messy house in the background, and Robin lost count of the amount of photographs with drug paraphernalia and alcohol in the background. Robin could swear he could see bruises in some of the pictures. He was probably three or four when the next picture of the family of four appeared, a knitted sweater clad David in Ruth's arms, the familiar tense hold of David's shoulders where Robert touched him.</p>
<p>There was a photograph of David with a sign in the same loopy writing from the envelope, announcing his first day at kindergarten, according to the dates on the sign David wasn't far off of six, but Robin now knew that was wrong, he was barely five, and he looked it.</p>
<p>There were only some photographs now, some where clearly taken by David and James, some by Ruth or someone else, David had lost his smile in most of them, and the injuries on the boys and Ruth were clearer, the Winnie the Pooh had been in all the pictures, worn with time even as he reached the last photograph. It was harrowing seeing David, he was bruised and battered, he looked like a photograph from world war one of a soldier with shell shock, the bright red cast on his arm was covered in drawings in David's own hand.</p>
<p>That was it, no more photographs, the last must have been just before they ran away from Robert. David had looked so young still, he had been around the age Roland was now but he looked so small, underweight, scared. Robin couldn't help but shed a few tears, it took a lot of perseverance to finally tear his eyes away from the injured child in the photographs, aware there was more in the envelope to look at.</p>
<p>The next things he drew out of the envelope returned the smile to his face, pages and pages of David's artwork, held together with a baby blue paperclip. Like the photographs Ruth had clearly taken care to arrange the drawings and paintings chronologically, yet Mal had barely glanced at them, he could kill her. He watched as the art went from what were clearly just scribbles to shapes he was fairly certain were people (mostly because Ruth had labelled them for him), to drawings and paintings which were clearly by an older and older David, still a child's drawing but they were really good, he didn't want to compare his kids but David seemed to have gotten the artistic gene. The older he got the more imaginative the pictures became, and the more often David's childish writing told a story on the page, Robin was completely enthralled. On the back of every single piece of paper was David's name, the date, and what he had drawn. He felt a swirl of emotions again, he felt bad for thinking so badly of Ruth she must have tried a little... but then did her saving some of his memories make up for the abuse she was powerless to protect him from?</p>
<p>There were several birthday cards some were from people he hadn't the foggiest who they were, they must have been important to Ruth for her to keep them for David, he made a mental note to take note of them and try to find out.</p>
<p>Regina hadn't reamed him as much as he thought she would have when he explained where he had been, after finally climbing into bed at two in the morning, she had understood why he had done it, but had stopped him when he had gone to get back up to look through the envelope which was still left in the kitchen, and forced him to get some sleep.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning the family settled into their usual routine, Regina and Robin woke early, Robin took his usual jog (he was getting older and needed to stay in shape after all), when he came home Regina was dressed and readying herself for work, Margot was already awake and playing, he shepherd his only daughter upstairs to get dressed for school, he woke up his sons before taking a shower himself.</p>
<p>David was the last one downstairs, having refused Robin's usual offer of help getting dressed, the other kids were also dressed and already digging into their breakfast, he joined them, Regina giving him a look when he tried to steal Robin's coffee, he ended up with a juice instead.</p>
<p>David rode with Robin as they took the kids to their schools while Regina went to work. The car rides with Robin were getting easier, though he did have to keep his breathing calm whenever Robin had to break suddenly, all the while Robin was thinking about the envelope.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Robin only managed to get to be in the kitchen alone later that day, he had helped homeschool David before encouraging him to take a nap, an hour later when he was certain David would be fast asleep Robin walked to the kitchen, reached into the mail cubby, pulled out the heavy, brown, A4 sized envelope.</p>
<p>Robin leant against the kitchen island and placed the envelope down. He stared at it, his fingers drumming on the countertop, 'Mallory', was written in loopy blue writing. Ruth's writing. He had such complicated feelings for this woman he had never met; the woman who had both damaged his son and brought him up, she was both parts of the good and the bad inside him, her life and her death.</p>
<p>"Fuck it." He whispered under his breath, he picked up the envelope and opened up the unsealed end. He reached inside tentatively, as though expecting a miniature alligator to be lurking inside, instead his fingers brushed against glossy photo paper, a whole pile of them by the feeling of it.</p>
<p>He pulled them out and undid the elastic band before finally turning them over.</p>
<p>The first photograph was of a very small looking baby, wrapped in a towel with one of those hats newborns were given in hospital, Robin placed the rest of the pile on the counter so he could more carefully examine what he assumed to be David's first photograph, sure enough, like he had suspected, it was taken inside of a hospital. Mal had taken it, he realised. He wondered if she had taken it for herself, or for Ruth, or if maybe, just maybe, she had planned to send it to him. David looked so small, Mal had said he was born early when they had talked the night before, but Robin could imagine being there, being too scared to hold his son at first, then once he had he wouldn't have been able to put him down.</p>
<p>It took him minutes to tear his eyes away from his son's face to the teddy in the top right corner of the crib. It was a small Winnie The Pooh Steiff teddy, one of a pair from his mother's collection, one she had insisted he give to Mal, the other to Regina, he had only done so because he loved his mother, and her extensive steiff bear collection was something of a joke in his friendship group. Mal had given it to David, at least for the picture, she had given a little bit of him to their son. It should have been touching, it was touching, but it worked to strengthen the fact that she had chosen to hide David from him.</p>
<p>The next few photographs were from David's first year of life, mostly with Ruth and James, Ruth looked every inch the doting mother, and James, who was around a year or so older, was always beaming at David. He was clearly loved. There was even a photograph of the three of them and Robert, by the looks of it it was David's catholic baptism; all of them smiling as though they were a normal happy family. Robert looked normal, which only helped to unsettle Robert, there were no signs that he was violent, abusive, a criminal, he was just smiling proudly, the father of two sons, a blue collar man working hard to put money in their pockets to give the boys a future.</p>
<p>As he made his way through the pile David got older and older, he started to look more like the teenager Robin was familiar with. His hair grew into curls, white blonde, a mischievous and wild smile. Regina had told him so often that David had looked like him when he was a teenager, but now he was finally forced to admit the resemblance, a three year old David looked the spitting image of Robin when he had been that age, down to the same shaped smile.</p>
<p>The older David got the less Robin was able to smile, David was smiling less, he was grubbier, most of the pictures he was as close to Ruth or James as he could get, more than a handful of them contained a messy house in the background, and Robin lost count of the amount of photographs with drug paraphernalia and alcohol in the background. Robin could swear he could see bruises in some of the pictures. He was probably three or four when the next picture of the family of four appeared, a knitted sweater clad David in Ruth's arms, the familiar tense hold of David's shoulders where Robert touched him.</p>
<p>There was a photograph of David with a sign in the same loopy writing from the envelope, announcing his first day at kindergarten, according to the dates on the sign David wasn't far off of six, but Robin now knew that was wrong, he was barely five, and he looked it.</p>
<p>There were only some photographs now, some where clearly taken by David and James, some by Ruth or someone else, David had lost his smile in most of them, and the injuries on the boys and Ruth were clearer, the Winnie the Pooh had been in all the pictures, worn with time even as he reached the last photograph. It was harrowing seeing David, he was bruised and battered, he looked like a photograph from world war one of a soldier with shellshock, the bright red cast on his arm was covered in drawings in David's own hand.</p>
<p>That was it, no more photographs, the last must have been just before they ran away from Robert. David had looked so young still, he had been around the age Roland was now but he looked so small, underweight, scared. Robin couldn't help but shed a few tears, it took a lot of perseverance to finally tear his eyes away from the injured child in the photographs, aware there was more in the envelope to look at.</p>
<p>The next things he drew out of the envelope returned the smile to his face, pages and pages of David's artwork, held together with a baby blue paperclip. Like the photographs Ruth had clearly taken care to arrange the drawings and paintings chronologically, yet Mal had barely glanced at them, he could kill her. He watched as the art went from what were clearly just scribbles to shapes he was fairly certain were people (mostly because Ruth had labelled them for him), to drawings and paintings which were clearly by an older and older David, still a child's drawing but they were really good, he didn't want to compare his kids but David seemed to have gotten the artistic gene. The older he got the more imaginative the pictures became, and the more often David's childish writing told a story on the page, Robin was completely enthralled. On the back of every single piece of paper was David's name, the date, and what he had drawn. He felt a swirl of emotions again, he felt bad for thinking so badly of Ruth she must have tried a little... but then did her saving some of his memories make up for the abuse she was powerless to protect him from?</p>
<p>There were several birthday cards some were from people he hadn't the foggiest who they were, they must have been important to Ruth for her to keep them for David, he made a mental note to take note of them and try to find out.</p>
<p>There were some school reports, all stating that David was a caring and compassionate boy with an inability to sit still and concentrate and a worryingly low attendance, the teachers notes begged 'David's parents' to come in to discuss his behaviour, the last one outright pointed out that they had refused to have him tested for ADHD which was 'severely affecting him', in fact the comment seemed to imply social services would soon be involved. Robin frowned, the date on the last school report must have been the same year Ruth ran, the year of that photograph of David. Robin had a sinking feeling that the injuries had been because of the school report.</p>
<p>A hospital band, cut off with scissors but it was still clear how small it had been. 'Baby De Vane' was written in a nurse's handwriting followed by a long number which Robin assumed was a hospital code, the birth date 22/04/05 and a time 20:30. It should have been one of the most important times and dates in his life but he couldn't even remember what he was doing, or where he was. He was about to place it onto the counter along the rest of the things he had been placing down when something on the band caught his eye; the brand on the band, the hospital logo, Hyperion Memorial Hospital, the city next to theirs the city he worked and taught in, so close to home. He couldn't even be sure, without checking, that he was in Storybrooke at that time, he might have taken a vacation, or been visiting his home country, or his father. For everything he learnt about David the more he felt that he didn't know.</p>
<p>The envelope was much lighter now, only three things left, he pulled out two crisp white envelopes, letter sized, one had the name 'David R.' the other, much to his surprise, had his own name 'Robin Locksley-Mills' which meant not only had Ruth known his name but had known about him after he had married. She had known he had a stable life, that he could have taken David, he should have taken David.</p>
<p>He peeked inside the envelope before pulling out what he first assumed was the last of his son's pictures, it was only when it was out of the envelope that he realised it was card, he turned it over and came face to face with the souvenir certificate Mallory had told him about the night before, he had almost forgotten about it.</p>
<p>He sucked in a breath. The air stung his lungs.</p>
<p>This certifies that David Robin Locksley De Vane was born to Mallory Jayne de Vane and Robin Christopher Locksley, at the Hyperion Memorial Hospital, at 8:32 PM, on Friday the 22nd of April 2005.<br/>Sex of child: Male.<br/>Weight at birth: 5 pounds 3 ounces.<br/>Length at birth: 14.5 inches.<br/>City of Hyperion, in the state of Maine.<br/>Attending physician Dr Andrew Wyatt.</p>
<p>Robin read, then re-read, then re-read it all, but his eyes were drawn back each time to his son's name. He had seen the initial R for David's name numerous times, he had just assumed it was Robert, that Ruth had named him and needed Robert to believe he was his. Robin had never thought, never dreamed, that Mal had given David a name at all, let alone had given their son his names.</p>
<p>"Can I get a snack?"</p>
<p>Robin startled hearing David's voice, how long had he been staring at the certificate? He watched David's amused smirk at watching him jump fade as he surveyed the organised chaos on the kitchen island.</p>
<p>"What's… That's the envelope, the one Mallory gave to you…" David slowly realised, memories played in his head as he tried to force his sleep addled mind to compute. "The one Ruth gave her before we ran…"</p>
<p>His eyes darted over the photographs and pictures, the other paper things, some looked familiar, most did not, until eventually his blue eyes landed on the piece of fancy card in Robin's hand. The shape, the way Robin was looking at him and at him, the rest of the things Ruth had given Mal drew him to one conclusion.<br/>"Is that my birth certificate?"</p>
<p>Robin nodded. Silence. He was unable to talk, he sucked in another gulp of air, forced himself into motion. "Your middle name."</p>
<p>David stiffened. A sick resignation sunk into his stomach and wrapped a hand around his throat. "It's his, isn't it? It's Robert. Ruth never let me use it, when we were using our real names she always just wrote 'David R', she got mad if I tried to use it, but it's the same as James' as the baby Ruth lost."</p>
<p>Robin shook his head silencing David with his own silence. He bit his lip, he needed to speak, he was freaking David out, he could tell he was freaking David out, but he just couldn't. He placed it upright on the counter and slid it across the counter until it was in front of David.</p>
<p>He watched as David read the certificate; once, twice, three times, until it finally sank in. He waited to see if David was going to say anything.</p>
<p>When he didn't Robin picked up the envelope addressed to himself and walked from the kitchen. David needed time to process it, to think it through without Robin looming over him.</p>
<p>Robin needed time to process it too.</p>
<hr/>
<p>David didn't look up when Robin left the kitchen, but he had heard him, even if he hadn't heard him he would have known, when Robin left he took the life from the kitchen with him. He was met with a childish urge to follow him, the same way he would try to follow his mother around even if she was in one of her bad moods.</p>
<p>But he couldn't move, he felt literally frozen, clinging to the island to hold him upright, his eyes and brain on the certificate.</p>
<p>Just as he had expected the date on the birth certificate was different from the one he had grown up believing, Ruth had given him her baby's birthday, he was just a replacement. The real him had never mattered, not even to her.</p>
<p>He sucked in a shaky breath, he couldn't think about that, he couldn't, he needed to stop the thought from ricocheting around his skull. Something else, he needed something else, he was younger than he thought he was, he was a replacement, half a year younger, Robin had walked out, a considerable age difference, he was a replacement, it made sense he had only just began to grow and fill out.</p>
<p>His name. The fact of his name. It stilled his mind, muting the screaming thought, it was something he could focus on.</p>
<p>Mal had given him his name.</p>
<p>She wanted nothing to do with him. She didn't want to talk to him, to see him. But she had given him the name David.</p>
<p>How had she chosen it? Why had she chosen it? Had it been her choice? Had Ruth told her she wanted to name a baby that? It couldn't have been. He was Ruth's baby's replacement, he hadn't been named David, he was William, if Ruth had named him she would have called him William Robert Nolan. She had kept the name Mallory de Vane had given him, his biological mother, his adoptive aunt, the stranger who had kept him safe for nine months.</p>
<p>That wasn't the main thing which stilled him though, of course it wasn't the main thing, it was the words he couldn't look away from. 'David Robin Locksley de Vane'.</p>
<p>The R stood for Robin.</p>
<p>He had inherited his father's name the same way his brother had inherited his father's name.</p>
<p>It was the clear proof on the page in black and white that Robin was his father, no wonder he walked out, now he was stuck with David.</p>
<p>He ran his hand through his mussed up hair, messy from a nap and now made even messier, it wasn't true, it didn't make sense, he knew that, he knew that Robin already knew David was his son. He had told him it, that he was his son, that he loved him, before all this, before the certificate; nothing he said even hinted at, suggested, that Robin hadn't believed David was his son - the exact opposite in fact, but the thought took place of the previous one, rebounding in his skull, seeping into any cracks in his belief.</p>
<p>He dropped the certificate back onto the counter. Even as he walked back upstairs to his room, his snack unfetched and uneaten, the image of the words had burned into the back of his eyelids.</p>
<p>He was a replacement.</p>
<p>Robin was stuck with him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>David had only come down from his room when Robin had shouted him down, not to talk, but because it was time for them to leave to go to David's first annual therapy appointment.</p>
<p>Their car ride had been in a tense silence, David had taken a seat in the back, it had made memories of the crash harder to ignore, but it was more achievable than having to sit next to Robin, he didn't think he could cope with that. All he had to do was focus on breathing, in and out, slowly, carefully, deliberately.</p>
<p>He just had to get through this ride, these steps, the wait to go into the office, he just had to wait to be called in, wait out the session, wait out the day, wait. Just wait.</p>
<p>Archie appeared like a ray of light in the dreary waiting room, with his fiery hair and electric attitude, he invited David inside. David could do this.</p>
<p>"You don't have to wait for me." He mumbled, struggling to his feet, Robin's arms were outstretched ready to steady him, if need be. "I can meet you by your car when I'm done."</p>
<p>Robin frowned even though David wasn't looking at him. "I'm staying here. I'm waiting for you."</p>
<p>David walked into the shrink's office without acknowledging Robin.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"I'm glad to see you here again, David."</p>
<p>"I didn't really have much of a choice." But David's snark was without heat.</p>
<p>"Still." Archie smiled, taking in David slummed in the armchair. "Would you like a drink? Orange or apple juice, iced tea, water, milk?"</p>
<p>"Juice, please. Orange."</p>
<p>The two of them settled into their seats and Archie waited, giving David the opportunity to begin. When he didn't Archie did. "How has your day been?"</p>
<p>David hesitated. He remembered his conversation with Regina, he remembered her promise that once this was over he didn't have to see the shrink again, he just had to get it over with, and he was fairly certain that if he didn't talk he would be forced to attend these sessions for longer, Dr Hopper would be certain he was hiding things, he'd presume the worst and David would never be free.<br/>He took a sip from his bottle of juice. "Not… not the best."</p>
<p>Archie tried to hide the signs of his own surprise that David had given him an honest answer. "What happened?"</p>
<p>So David talked. He filled him in on everything he knew, about the envelope he had seen being passed from Ruth to Mal to Robin, then to earlier, seeing Robin stood with the photographs, the pictures, the school reports, and the certificate. The certificate. That was what he talked about most, he started with his birthday being different, then slipped back to the photograph of the pregnant Ruth, then back to the certificate, that he was from here, or the next city over anyway, where Robin and Regina both work. He told Archie that Mallory had named him when he was born, and that Ruth had kept it, that Robin's name was his middle name, that Ruth knew it but let him believe it was Robert like James' was. That Mallory wrote his surname as 'Locksley de Vane', Robin and her names together to form his, even though she knew he wouldn't be keeping it, she couldn't even guarantee that he would keep 'David', or 'Robin'.</p>
<p>Archie was silent as he spoke, giving him time to say out loud everything he needed to without interruption, letting him drift away from points and back to them again, watching him rub the back of his neck in a self soothing gesture.</p>
<p>"It sounds like your biological mother, Mallory, must have really loved you, in her own way. It sounds like she wanted you to have something of her and your father, that she wanted the best for you, even if she couldn't give it to you herself."</p>
<p>"If she had wanted that then she should have given me to Robin." David's voice came out raw and he looked down at his knees so Archie wouldn't see the tears. "She didn't have to say anything to him, she could have just left me on his doorstep with a note, then never seen me again."</p>
<p>Archie watched him for a minute, before plucking a tissue from the box on the table closest to him, plucking one and passing it to David. "What did Robin say?"</p>
<p>"When?"</p>
<p>"When the two of you saw your birth certificate."</p>
<p>David balled up the tissue in his hand, clenching his teeth, then swallowed deeply. "Nothing." He continued to look at his knees but when Robin said nothing David looked back up. He was being given that look again, the patient, non judgemental blank look, Archie was waiting. David rolled his eyes ever so slightly. "I walked in, he passed it to me, he didn't say anything, I didn't say anything, he walked away, when he didn't come back I walked to my room."</p>
<p>Archie Hopper shut the notebook he had been jotting notes in, his pen was between the pages holding his place, but the look on his face was ensuring that David had no doubt that he was invested in his next answer. "And why do you think Robin walked away from you?"</p>
<p>"I don't know..." David shrugged. He took a sip of his juice, he breathed, in, out, then took a deep breath. "I know, I know that he- well he says he loves me, and I don't think he's lying, but… I just…" He trailed off shaking his head as his fingers clung to the back of his neck.</p>
<p>"It's okay, David." His voice was low yet sturdy. "Just say what you're thinking. I'm not going to judge you, you don't have to worry about upsetting anyone, it's just you and me. I will never tell your father anything without your permission."</p>
<p>David locked eyes with him, evaluated, believed him. "It was proof to him that he is my dad."</p>
<p>"And how do you think that made him feel?"</p>
<p>"Who am I Professor X?" He rolled his eyes when Archie looked confused, there was no way he was as young he looked, it was impossible. "Shock?"</p>
<p>Archie nodded slowly. "But he already knew that he was your father. In order for you to be allowed to live with him there will have been confirmed tests. A DNA swab? Or perhaps a blood test while you were in the hospital in Pittsburgh?"</p>
<p>"I… I guess, yeah. I don't really remember much from then."</p>
<p>"Understandably. Has your father said or done anything which has made you think he doubts that you're his son?"</p>
<p>David hesitated before shaking his head. "He," David shrugged, "keeps making sure that I know he, y'know… he keep telling me it." He bit his lip and felt tears stir in his eyes, he didn't know why, he scrubbed them away with the heel of his palm. "I know it's stupid, that it doesn't make sense, but I just can't stop thinking it."</p>
<p>"You've gone through a lot of turmoil, everything you once perceived to be the truth has been turned upside down, it's only natural to be doubting things in your life- especially those things which rely on you having to trust other people. It's not stupid." He handed over another tissue and waited when David had to fight back tears again. "Why else do you think Robin might have walked out of the room?"</p>
<p>"I dunno."</p>
<p>"Take your time, think about why you might have done the same if you had been him."</p>
<p>"I guess, maybe, he needed to think things through, he needed time and space, maybe? It's what I would have done."</p>
<p>"Perhaps you and your father are more alike than you think. The only way to find out for certain is to ask him yourself."</p>
<p>"... What if I was right the first time?"</p>
<p>"Then you still need to find that out so you can move past it." He waited until David slowly nodded to open up his notebook again, jotted some notes down, he let David take a breather before continuing onto his next point. "You have the funeral next week, don't you?" David nodded, no longer looking at him. "Are you ready for it?"</p>
<p>"I'm getting a suit on Saturday, Robin's taking me to some place, he says I need a proper one we can't just order it."</p>
<p>"It'll be helpful to have something ready in case you're suddenly in need of a suit though. How about emotionally, are you prepared?"</p>
<p>"Is anyone?"</p>
<p>"That's a good point." He didn't point out that David hadn't answered his question. "Have you had much input in planning the funeral?"</p>
<p>David shook his head. "I don't even know what's going to be said, she didn't know Ruth or James, not really, no one did." Not even me, he finished in his head.</p>
<p>"Would you like to speak at the funeral?"</p>
<p>David hesitated before shaking his head. "Funerals are meant to be for people; memories and stuff, to share with other people about the person who died. I don't know anyone who'll be there, even if there will be any other people there, James and Ruth are gone. There's no one there who needs to hear me speak."</p>
<p>"That's a nuanced way of thinking about funerals. And I think that you're right, but I also believe that funerals are about working through your own grief, perhaps you need to hear you speak." He quickly realised that David wasn't about to agree to that. "Have you thought about holding your own memorial service? Just you, your father, step-mother, younger siblings. You could go somewhere peaceful or somewhere which meant a lot to the three of you, you could share your memories of your mother and brother with them; what they were like, their lives from your point of view, your feelings revolving around the crash, around Ruth and James."</p>
<p>David hesitated again but at least looked more open to this suggestion. He met Archie's eyes, looking uncertain and unguarded. "Is there…?" He shook his head then forced himself to continue. "Is there like a time period I have to have one of those by? I don't know what I'd say… I think I still have some things I need to figure out first."</p>
<p>"You can take as long as you need: days, weeks, months, years if need be. Don't try and rush yourself during this, it's a process, one which is different for everyone. There are a lot of things you need to figure out, but you can't rush it, you need to put your mental health first, and you need to have a support system to rely on during this. Everything that has happened to you, especially recently, is going to be nearly impossible to work through if you don't rely upon the support of all of us offering it to you."</p>
<p>David thought about the photograph of the pregnant version of his mother, the baby who should have had his life, the fact that he was a replacement, that he didn't know who he was anymore, then nodded his head.</p>
<p>"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about? Anything bothering you? Anything you just need to vent about?"</p>
<p>David thought about being in Robin's office, nearly destroying his phone, and along with it any photographs or memories of James and Ruth, of watching it happen locked inside of himself, the anger, the guilt afterward, clinging to Robin's arms, crying, the thoughts bouncing around his head as he tried to sleep last night, about his fear it would happen again, that there was something wrong with him. But he was overreacting. He would be fine, he just had to persevere, he just had to keep breathing in and out. It was just remnants from the car crash, he would be better soon, he would be fixed.<br/>He shook his head. "No. Nothing."</p>
<p>Archie's eyes ever so slightly but he chose not to challenge David. "Okay then. How about for the rest of the session we work on the methods we worked on last week to help ease anxiety attacks? I would like your permission to talk to your father, I won't tell him in detail what we've discussed only tell him how you're already progressing, and the methods we're working on, that way should something happen he'll have a better understanding of how to help."</p>
<p>David quickly ran through their session in his head, he hadn't said anything too deep, he hadn't told him too much, let too much slip. "I guess. Are you going to tell him that we talked about him? The kitchen and that certificate?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't planning on, I was going to give that to you as homework, if you would like I can tell him that we discussed it and that you're wanting to talk more about it with him, so he won't react in shock?"</p>
<p>David bit the inside of his cheek then nodded sheepishly. He tried his best to plaster a smile onto his face. "I get homework at therapy?"</p>
<p>Archie chuckled. "Sorry."</p>
<hr/>
<p>David was surprised when Robin pulled up outside a diner with a neon sign announcing 'Granny's Diner', it looked like the exact sort of diner he had seen in old movies, slightly more picturesque than the greasy spoons he was used to frequenting.</p>
<p>He looked across at Robin who gave him a sheepish smile. "What-?"</p>
<p>"I should have made sure you had lunch before therapy, sorry. I thought you might like to try here, they do good food, or we can just get take out?"</p>
<p>David saw the olive branch being held out to him, he matched Robin's sheepish smile. "Here sounds good. Regina mentioned this place."</p>
<p>Robin let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I think her mother would turn in her grave if she saw her coming to a place like this." He unbuckled his belt and reached for the door handle.</p>
<p>"Her mom's dead?"</p>
<p>"Nope."</p>
<p>David couldn't help but laugh at Robin's flippant tone.</p>
<p>Once in the diner they settled into a booth.</p>
<p>David used to love sitting in booths when he was younger, he didn't know why, it just seemed fun, like something in Grease or something. Granny's was probably the best thing David had seen in the town, sure he hadn't seen much beyond his home, the hospital, and his therapist's office, but still. It was totally retro, with the red viynl booths, the jukebox, the way the old lady behind the counter called a hello to them as Robin led the way to the booth.</p>
<p>He wasn't sure if the place was made better because he was so hungry or because it simply was that good. He opened the somewhat sticky menu, he chose the safe option of a cheeseburger, something he could never go wrong with, over the years it had become the tester in new places. He put in his order with a side of curly fries and a cookies and cream milkshake, and looked around as Robin put his order in.</p>
<p>A group of teenagers around his age had entered behind them, all but one carried large backpacks, they were all laughing and joking, clearly on a lunchbreak from school, they looked so untroubled and carefree. How he envied them, how he questioned if he was even the same species as them anymore, if he had ever been. He felt eyes on him and realised he had been staring, the sorter of the two girls in the group smiled at him, as though he hadn't just been staring like a weirdo, he found his lips twitch up into a smile in return. He quickly came back to himself, realised he was staring at a stranger, he looked back across the booth at Robin instead, swallowing away his embarrassment.</p>
<p>"I should have stuck around in the kitchen when you saw the birth certificate."</p>
<p>"What?" David asked, struck dumb by Robin's blurted regret.</p>
<p>"Doctor Hopper said that you were confused about why I had left you in the kitchen, I didn't …- I've been thinking about it since he told me, I've been trying to figure out…" He ran his hand through his hair messing it out of its usual style. "I thought that you needed some time to take it in the certificate, that it wouldn't help me standing over you, rushing you. I didn't realise it might have been the wrong choice until I came back to the kitchen and you weren't there, I should have checked on you, but I thought that you might still need some space. It was only when Archie brought it up that I knew I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."</p>
<p>David wasn't used to getting apologises like this, in his family, his old family things weren't discussed, they were just moved on from them, whether he wanted to or not. He shifted where he sat, he could feel rather than hear the vinyl squeak as he moved around his weight. "Did Archie tell you what I said?"</p>
<p>"No. No, he didn't, Sunshine, I swear. He just told me that it had big effected you, that you were planning on speaking to me about it but you might need a little encouragement."</p>
<p>David looked back at the teenagers now sat at the counter, the girl who had caught his eye was holding her side and wincing a little, her friend (the loud one with the red streaks) looked worried, the girl wasted no time shrugging off the pained look and her friend's worry, just like that she was back to normal, David looked back at Robin. "I thought that you walked off because she, she wrote those names and it was like proof to you, that you're stuck with me - I know it's stupid, I knew even before I talked to Archie, but I just couldn't stop thinking it. I'm sorry I overreacted." His eyes fell onto the scuffed table.</p>
<p>Robin's composure fell, he reached across the table, took hold of David's hand and squeezed until David met his eyes. "I'm not stuck with you. You're my kid, I want you around, you're not some burden David." His blue eyes stared into his son's matching pair until they soften and Robin was certain that his words had sunk in, at least for the time being. He let go of his hand but continued the eye contact. "You didn't overreact, I shouldn't have assumed what you needed, I should have tried to talk to you before therapy. I've been a dad for over ten years, but I don't know how to be your dad yet, if you're willing to give me a little time I promise I'll learn."</p>
<p>David's smile turned sheepish with embarrassment of the honest talk. "Okay. I'm not used to all this, talking about everything, feelings."</p>
<p>Robin chuckled. "Neither was I when I was your age, it's hard to break the habits, but it's worth it."</p>
<p>The waitress dropped off his milkshake and burger and the ribs Robin had ordered and they both dug in.</p>
<p>God. This food was heaven, the cheese melted perfectly, the curly fries were spicy but so good, he had already wolfed down half his burger when a thought struck him, James would have loved this place. He felt sick. He placed his burger back down and began to pick at the fries.</p>
<p>Robin watched as David's mood shifted, he didn't know why but it was clear that something had happened in his head, he just had no idea what. "What's going on?"</p>
<p>"Huh?" He only received a look from Robin in return. "I just… James would have loved this place."</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>David nodded. "Yeah, we ate in placed like this a lot, they're fast, cheap, anonymous." He didn't mention all the times they dined and dashed in places like this, he didn't want Robin to know about that side of him. "Do you come here a lot?" He asked changing the subject. "The lady over there seemed to know you." He nodded his head towards the old lady who was talking to the teens at the counter.</p>
<p>"I used to come here when I was your age, it's been the sort of 'go to' place for teenagers since it opened, I think. Regina introduced me to it on my first day at school, by the time I left here I had eight new friends and finally felt at home in this country. Regina loved it because her mother wouldn't be caught dead here, it gave her some freedom, it's a special place for our family."</p>
<p>David found himself smiling, the love Robin had for Regina was clear, he wasn't used to seeing people like that, he tried to hide the smile, particularly when Robin said 'our family', the way he said it made it clear that he was included. "I doubt I'll make that many friends on my first day at school." He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck, what he really meant was he doubted he'd make any and had years of experience to back it up.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you'll make plenty, kid." Robin took a long sip from his glass of coke. "You'll have all the girls whooning when they see your pretty boy face. You get that from me."</p>
<p>David rolled his eyes at Robin's teasing. "I'm glad I didn't inherit how annoying you are."</p>
<p>"There's still time for those genes to kick in."</p>
<p>David rolled his eyes again but couldn't fight his smile. He busied himself by tucking into his burger once again. He didn't feel quite so sick now that his memory of his brother wasn't only locked in his mind, it was shared, just a shiver, but enough.</p>
<p>As they ate their lunch they made conversation, trying to bond in all the small ways which would one day, hopefully, add up to larger bonding.</p>
<p>Robin told David how he had talked to the school while David was in his appointment, he had talked to them about the tests David was supposed to have been taking, they had decided to take David for a few days sporadically over the next few weeks to assess where he was at in terms of schooling - it was agreed that after the crash his concentration issues made it too hard to only rely on timed tests to set his evaluation on.</p>
<p>David thanked him, mostly because he hated those tests, he couldn't help but wish he just didn't need to go to school at all. "What name will I be under?" He asked suddenly. "I mean I normally get a new name in a new school, it was usually David, if my mom didn't say we had to use pseudonyms." He saw the worried look appear on Robin's face, the one which the older man struggled to hide every time David said things about his past, if he only knew… David plastered on a smirk like smile, good humoured and easy to like. "As long as it's not Nolan I don't care what it is."</p>
<p>Robin shifted in his seat, he twirled his cup on the table, taking a deep breath in before smiling sheepishly. "Actually I spoke to your social worker, Sam, about it earlier. You were never actually registered, Mallory had you at the hospital but she gave you to Ruth before she actually registered your birth, I guess she thought Ruth would have done it."</p>
<p>"So… I just don't exist?"</p>
<p>"You do, it's just you've only been registered once they found all of this out… so a couple of days." Robin caught himself rubbing the back of his neck and realised that across the table David was mirroring him. "I guess Ruth had some people make documents to get you into your schools. It was decided you'd have my last name, Locksley-Mills, mostly for ease so we won't have to explain everything when people see we have different last names when we have to give them. You don't have to tell everyone it if you don't want to, you don't even have to keep it," he sucked in a small breath. "I hope you want to though, keep it, I mean."</p>
<p>David looked down at his plate. He gave a small shrug. "Sure, I mean, it's better than Nolan, or de Vane." He mumbled. He looked up and gave Robin a small smile. He was trying. They both were.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wind hit his face as soon as he climbed out of the car despite the sun shining strong overhead. He shifted in his new suit, his white shirt collar was stiff and rubbed his neck, the black tie was a noose around his neck, choking him. His arm was held in place with the sling he wore while out but it felt extra uncomfortable today, same with the brace, he hadn't wanted to wear either of them, his arm and knee were both feeling a lot better, but Robin had told him that he had to, David hadn't been in the mood to bother trying to argue.</p><p>"Hey, c'mere." Robin walked to stand in front of David. He adjusted David's tie so it was straightened, he adjusted it a little more even when it was already in place. When he could do it no more he placed his hand on his shoulders and looked him over. For once Robin didn't bother to disguise how worried he was about his son. "If you need to go, we'll go, just say the word and we're out of here."</p><p>Regina walked to their side, like Robin and David she was dressed in classic black funeral attire, the only thing adding colour was her dark red lips, also like Robin she was looking worried when her eyes met David's. She reached out and smoothed down David's hair, it still curled slightly, but smoothing it hadn't been her main intent, she had just needed to reach out to him. "Any time." She backed her husband up, her eyes flickered to Robin then back to David. "Even if it's right in the middle of the service, don't worry about what anyone else might think, just tell us and we'll go."</p><p>"Thanks." David's voice came out a little gruff and he cleared it. Then nodded, telling them that he was ready.</p><p>They headed from the parking lot into one of several churches in the town. David supposed that it was fitting that Ruth was buried in her hometown, though for all he knew she had hated it, he hadn't ever mentioned Storybrooke after all, though James was going to be buried in a town he had never stepped foot in, David wondered what he would have thought of it, if he would have hated it, it was the town Robert had come from too, after all.</p><hr/><p>David hadn't been in a whole lot of churches in his life, he thought he remembered going to one at Christmas when he was very small, with a friend or a neighbour, they had been given an orange with a candle stuck out the top and sang songs David didn't know. Theoretically Robert was Catholic, but David didn't think he really was, he doubted that the Catholic Church would want to be associated with Robert if they knew him.<br/>This church looked like many he had seen in tv shows or movies (though most of those had included shootouts, and so far there was no sign), there were stained glass windows lining the walls, religious iconography, statues, he felt so out of place here.</p><p>He stuck close to Regina and Robin as they walked down the worn burgundy carpeted aisle to the pews near the front on the left side. Spread among the pews were orders of service, a photograph on the front showed Ruth and James, when James was a very small baby. Robin stood aside to let David and Regina in first.</p><p>David sat on the pew holding the order of service in his hand but didn't look at it. Instead he looked around the church. The place was full of people, some older people looking particularly sad, most of this group had grey hair, but were talking to members who were clearly their family with the same brown hair as Ruth or the same blonde as Mal.<br/>Other people in the church were around Ruth or his dad's age looking sad but when they thought none of the actual grievers were looking they were clearly gossiping, probably taking bets over how they thought Ruth had died, they had probably gone to school with her. There were some kids around James' age, a couple looked familiar, he was fairly certain they had been James' friend, when they had lived in the town nearby, some had younger siblings David had gone on playdates with.</p><p>A sudden chill shook his bones, he felt as though he was being watched. He scanned the church quickly, he wasn't sure if it was just his imagination that Robert had come here, or if he was really here. If he had finally found them. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here. Ruth would kill David if after all this time he had carelessly let Robert find him.</p><p>A hand clapped down onto his shoulder, he jumped but looked to the direction it came from, Robin's hand was reaching across Regina's shoulders to squeeze his shoulder.</p><p>Robin followed David's sight around the room, trying to catch sight of whatever it was David was searching for.</p><p>Regina was staring at David. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly, she resisted looking around the same as Robin was, ready to protect David, if need be.</p><p>"Yeah," David let out a slow breath. "Sorry, I was just seeing if I recognised anyone." He looked down at the order of service in his hands, pretending to read it, in his head forcing himself to calm down, Robert wasn't here.</p><p>Regina had looked down at her own copy of the order of service mere seconds after David had, assured that he really was okay, or as okay as he could be in a situation like this. She was looking through the leaflet, searching for a photograph of David but there were no recent ones of Ruth, and one of a teenage boy, presumably James, but no sign of David. She looked to Robin, to see if he had noticed no hint of David in the booklet, but he was staring at the front of the church, at Mal. She slid her hand into his, forcing him to unclench the fist he had formed.<br/>He looked at her guiltily, she didn't know what for, whether it was him still feeling guilty about his hookup with Mal (despite the two of them not being together at the time), or if it was whatever he had been thinking. She squeezed his hand, she didn't blame him for thinking bad things about Mal, not in the slightest.</p><p>Robin brought Regina's hand to his mouth then kissed it. He didn't know if a display of loving affection was appropriate in this circumstance, not in a church at a funeral, not when he was already feeling like he had stolen David from Ruth, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His eyes trailed past her brown eyes to his son's face.</p><p>Regina followed him in looking at David. She watched him staring at Mal, watched her ignore him, watched his face fall without him even realising it, watched him staring down at his shoes instead. She let the order of service rest in her lap as she reached over and squeezed David's hand, gentler than she had to Robin, until he looked up to meet her eyes. He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand back, assuring her that he was okay, she let go of his hand and watched him for a few seconds flicking through the order of service before she began to stare at Mallory herself.</p><p>David stared at the photograph of his brother staring up at him with that easy smirk like smile David had always copied but never quite perfected the lupine confidence. The photograph was taken at Christmas time, months ago, James stood in snow blanketed Chicago, a german style Christmas village behind him. David had taken the photograph which was the only reason why he knew it was from James' facebook, the facebook that Ruth would have killed James for making, had she known. Mal must have searched for it, it wouldn't have been hard, James had put his real name on it and made it public, he had punched David when David had worried about him being so traceable, David had sometimes wondered if James had wanted to see Robert again. Mal must have searched for it, his brother's photograph, his cousin's photograph.</p><p>He sat there in silence, barely listening as the service began. Everyone sat down, the minister or bishop or priest or whatever he was stood at the altar and began to speak. David stopped listening after minutes.</p><p>He wasn't talking about Ruth or James, not really, nothing real about them, just how it was so 'sad' losing two people 'so young', like he was reading from a script. He probably was.</p><p>Instead he zoned out, staring at the first page of the order of service, but all the words had blurred together. Everyone in the church chanted 'Amen', he didn't copy. He stood when everyone else did though, he could hear some song being sung, he stared at the blurry words on the page, they must have been the lyrics. He didn't even pretend to open his mouth. It didn't matter. The church fell silent after a second or an hour, he couldn't tell any longer. He was pulled back down onto the pew by Robin, he must have switched seats with Regina to sit next to him, his hand went to David's back as soon as they sat down. David didn't look over at him, but he could feel himself becoming more grounded, Robin's hand grounding him in this church, even if he wished he wasn't there. The man's voice began to rumble around the church again.</p><p>There was silence again. A rustling which forced David to actually look up from his shiny shoes again.</p><p>Mal took to the podium at the front, notes were in front of her, folded and slightly crumpled plain white paper. She was looking towards him, she met his eyes, she looked away. She began to deliver her eulogy. She spoke about her parents, Ruth's parents, they had a supposedly famous clothing store in Storybrooke where she and Ruth had practically grown up in. Ruth was a few years older than Mal, she had been popular in school, kind, funny, smart, Mal had idolised her. She talked about how much she loved James, how they had loved to go to Storybrooke park with him when he was still so young, the lake they would eat sandwiches next to when Mal would visit her during college. How Ruth would bake the best pies known to man.</p><p>David remembered those pies. When his mom was in her good moods, her balanced ones, her mom ones, she would bake pies. Sometimes, mostly when Robert wasn't there, they would have a pie day, a different pie for each meal, and a different one for each dessert. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep a down inward.</p><p>She said how Ruth was a good mom, again, she was. She was?... Wasn't she?</p><p>He felt a hand on his wrist again, this time Robin's, a much tighter hold than Regina had. He was squeezing it, forcing his fingers to straighten, he looked down at his hand. Robin twisted their hands slowly so that David could see the bleeding crescents his fingernails had cut into his palms. He hadn't even noticed. He forced his hand to relax in Robin's grip before he would look up and meet his father's eyes. The worry in Robin's face was clear, David tried to look confident, that he hadn't meant to do it, that he was fine. But his sea blue eyes were sparkling before silently spilling over, his teeth bit into his bottom lip so hard that he tasted something metallic, blood. Robin let go of his hand and he could feel himself drowning. Then his arm was around David's shoulder, pulling him into his side, a liferaft.</p><p>Mal had finished by saying that James had been very popular in school, a keen student, an athlete, none of that was really true. His brother had liked reading, but only in secret, only in front of David. His brother had found the bad crowds in whichever school they were moved to; his brother skipped class and drank, the only signs of his athleticism was him running away from cops.</p><p>Mallory did not know James. Mallory did not know Ruth. She did not know the family he had grown up with. She said that they were in a better place now, David wasn't so sure of that, he knew that he was in a better place now though, which only formed a boulder of guilt in his heart.</p><p>Mallory did not mention him.</p><p>In this narrative, her narrative, he hadn't existed in Ruth and James' life.</p><p>He didn't exist in Mallory life either.</p><p>Where did that leave him?</p><p>Robin watched as Mallory walked back to her pew, clearly trying not to cry, Robin tightened his hold on his son's shoulders. He hushed the part of him who had been Mallory's best friend once, the part which wanted to comfort her, and tightened the side hug he had David caught in instead. She hadn't even hinted that Ruth had two sons, not just James. She acted like David hadn't existed, the same as Robert hadn't been mentioned, as though they were of the same level. She had disowned David, but here in front of everyone she hadn't allowed Ruth to claim him either, effectively orphaning him. He couldn't imagine his mother having done that to him when he was a teenager, or at any age.</p><p>Mal was followed by an elderly aunt, the one Mal used to stay with in the summers, apparently she had been close to Ruth. Her short speech was a little closer to what Robin knew of Ruth; she had been a 'troubled wild child with a heart of gold', she finished with a poem but Robin couldn't focus on her words, he was too busy watching David. His heart was breaking for David, he felt Regina take his hand again and when he turned his head towards his wife he could tell that her heart was breaking for David too.</p><hr/><p>The three Locksleys followed the coffins out, they were being carried by some distant cousins of Ruth's, or some people Mal had hired, David honestly didn't know.</p><p>They were lowered by some mechanism into two holes in the dirt, surrounded by other thirty people, at least ten of those were De Vanes, a family neither he nor James had ever been told about, let alone met.</p><p>The priest/father/pastor/minister said some words. They echoed in David's head.</p><p>"Earth to earth. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust."</p><p>He invited Mallory to dump dirt on the polished wooden coffins, she obliged.</p><p>The elderly aunt lined up next, but before she could take the shovel Regina walked over and snatched it from Mal's hand.</p><p>Regina walked back over to Robin and David, ignoring the shocked silence of the rest of the group gathered to mourn, she held the shovel out to David with a kind smile but steel in her eyes. "Do you need any help?"</p><p>David shut his mouth, swallowed, shook his head, then took the shovel. His shoulder ached with the weight of the shovel as he heaped soil onto James' name plagued coffin first, then onto Ruth's. He handed the shovel back to Regina without looking at anyone else.</p><p>Regina took the shovel back to Mal. The two women locked eyes. There was no hint that these two had once been best friends, and no chance that they would ever be again.</p><hr/><p>They followed the rest of the cars from the churchyard to the wake, which was being held in the town hall, according to Regina (who was the only one who talked during their short drive) it was one of the few places in the town where a wake could be held, at least which would suit Mallory's demands.</p><p>The place had been done up, clearly, it was pristine, white and David couldn't imagine James being impressed that this was his funeral. He didn't think he knew his mom as well as he once had, he didn't think she would have liked this, but perhaps she would have. How the hell should he know.</p><p>Regina led the way to a table which only had a couple of people sitting around it, ones who didn't seem to be particularly close to Mal at the funeral, but who also didn't seem like they were going to pry too much. Three adults bore a little resemblance to both David and Mallory, relatives then. They introduced themselves, Ruth and Mallory's two aunts and cousin, on their dad's side, another had been a mom and son- friends of Ruth and 'the boys', someone who actually remembered David then, Regia couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Regina introduced herself and her boys followed suit, none of them told them how they knew Ruth and James.</p><p>The boy looked familiar, David thought. It had been a long time, it had been years, another life, for David at least. The mom looked a little familiar, once she had figured out who he was she looked relieved, as though reassuring herself that David did exist, after no mention or sign of him at the funeral.</p><p>David didn't talk. The room was full of quiet talking, some laughing, mostly from the younger group who he was fairly certain had gone to elementary school with James, but David was quiet. Regina and Robin kept the conversation going, Regina mostly, and didn't pressure him to talk. He said a quiet thank you to Robin when he brought him over an ice cold glass of coke from the makeshift bar, and mumbled a promise to Regina that he would try to eat when she brought him over a plate of food from the buffet table.</p><p>He knew it was a cliche but he felt as though he was stuck in a nightmare, like he didn't exist: The worst part was that he kept catching himself watching Mallory, the worst part was that he had to force himself to look away, the worst part was he was staring again within seconds, the worst part was that small child like part of him which hoped she'd change her mind and suddenly want him, the worst part was she didn't.</p><hr/><p>Eventually it all got to be too much. He was choking. He couldn't breathe. He was desperate to make sure that no one caught on: Robin and Regina had taken the day off of work for him or from working from home in Robin's case, they had bought him a suit, a tie, shoes, made sure his hair was as neat as it had ever been, Robin had left cologne on his dresser for him and it didn't look cheap, they had both done so much already, he didn't want to worry them.</p><p>He excused himself, he thought that Robin looked like he was going to catch on, but David hid his shaking hand and told them he was going to the restroom, he watched Regina squeezing Robin's hand and the man relented.</p><p>There were more corridors with little turnings than David had noticed on his way into the large room the wake was being held in. He made it to the hallway outside the small bathrooms before he crumpled against the wall. The anxiety attack catching him like a rip current.</p><p>He tugged his tie looser, undid not one but two buttons, as he gasped for air. It took him minutes of panic to remember some of the exercises Archie had been teaching him. He tried to take in all the things he saw: damp wallpaper in the top right corner of the room, the clearly fake plant beneath it, drawings and paintings of an old fashioned Storybrooke, all of the frames were cushions in a half inch of dust. All the things he smelt: tea from a nearby room - the english breakfast stuff Robin would drink, cheap lemon scented bathroom cleaner which smelt so strongly of chemicals and fake lemons that it burnt his nose, the smell of the cologne spritz on him. All the things he felt: his shirt soft and new the collar stiff still, the suit blazer awkwardly hung over his skinny frame, the burn in his knee and shoulder from the effort of the day. All the things he heard: The sound of the low music and murmuring of the wake from a few corridors over, the sound of his breathing slowing back to its usual rate, not noticeable until he decided to notice it, the blinking noise of the lightbulb above flickering out due to his stagnance, it blinking back on, the noise of footsteps heading towards him.</p><p>Robin, probably, or Regina, one of them having come searching for him after he took too long to reappear.</p><p>He slowly raised his head.</p><p>It was neither of them.</p><p>It was Mallory. Her blonde hair standing out against the black dress, the heavy eyeliner, the dark red lips, everything so dark that he could see her eyes were light blue, a total contrast, the same baby blue colour he knew flecked his own eyes from his self portrait drawings.</p><p>Mallory froze when she saw him. She had needed some air, she had been stuck in her head, it was a long time since she had attended the weekly girl scouts meetings in this place but she remembered the way to the toilets like it was just yesterday. She had glanced up and seen Robin, lounging outside of the bathroom, all in black like an old fashioned photograph.<br/>Except it wasn't Robin, it was David, now that she was staring she could see the small differences, the lighter hair, his ever so slightly small ears, the stillness she had never see in Robin, his lounging wasn't really lounging but like he had fallen back against the wall, the way he was so, so sad. Robin had been troubled, sure, but he had never looked as troubled as this, as him…. Otherwise, David could pass as Robin, twenty something years ago.</p><p>"Do you hate me?"</p><p>At first she wondered if she had spoken before realising this statue version of Robin had spoken. "...I'm sorry?" She fumbled around her words when she realised that she had taken too long to answer.</p><p>"Do you hate me?" This time David's voice came out less gravelly, less like he was going to cry, its volume giving him strength. "You gave me to her, instead of to my- to Robin. She knew who he was - that he could have looked after me, that he didn't know that I was alive but if he had, he would have loved me, would have taken care of me." His volume lowered and his voice cracked. "You knew what she was like."</p><p>"She loved you." Mallory's voice came out soft yet defensive.</p><p>"So does Robin." He shot back without hesitation. "She loved me, yeah, but that didn't make her the right person to raise me." His fight edged back into his voice and he remembered James once telling him it was better to be angry than sad. "So which is it? Did you hate me? Or did you hate Robin?"</p><p>"Robin is my-, was my, best friend, since we were kids - your age. I didn't, I don't, hate him." He was different than when she last saw her, stronger. She had to be the same. "I didn't hate you either. I just didn't want kids, I never have, it wasn't you, I just couldn't raise you. I wanted you to have a life full of love. I couldn't give you that.</p><p>"Ruth loved me." David's voice was low and dangerous. "But she also loved Robert - who loved beer, and meth, and crack, and when those weren't around he loved to hit us. Me. When we finally ran she thought he was following us every place we went, it took us two years to realise that he wasn't. She had stolen money from him but not enough, we lived in a car most of the time, she preferred to spend more of the money on drink and drugs, just like him. She was crazy."</p><p>"She wasn't." The fire in her voice was out of the habit of defending her sister for years. "She was just sick."</p><p>"Yeah." The fire in his voice matched his mother's, a fact which made him a little uncomfortable, but he couldn't think about that right now. "And you knew it. She would leave me and James; go out drinking with guys, working the streets- we'd miss school, she'd forget to feed us because she was so hopped up on drugs that she wasn't hungry so didn't remember that we were still there. We missed school because she was so high or manic that she wanted to go on adventures, but me and Jamie were just terrified that she was going to leave us - and those were the good times - the times we could afford the sleazy motels, when she could work as a waitress or in a dive bar, or even just get out of bed. When she wouldn't get mad at me and James for breathing." He shuddered despite himself, the memory of that white hot anger, the shouting, the hits. "... You knew and you left me with her."</p><p>For the first time David could see guilt in her eyes. He watched her finally move from her spot and he thought that perhaps she was leaving, instead she leant on the wall opposite him.</p><p>"She was pregnant, conceived just several months before I did, a boy."</p><p>"William."</p><p>Mallory blinked, the only sign that she was surprised that he knew, then she nodded. "She lost him, Robert was away, he was down in South America somewhere, doing god knows what. She was so… so broken, I didn't know what she was going to do. I thought she might hurt herself, she might… I couldn't lose her. She already knew about me. I told her she could be your mother. I had been planning on putting you up for adoption, finding you a home, somewhere which wasn't in this small town, maybe in the city where you could go to the best schools and be immersed in culture, or… or maybe telling Robin about you, making him decide. But Ruthie was such a good mom to James, she really was, all she wanted was a big family, another baby. She said yes to you straight away. I rethought about it a few times, when she had brief manic or depressive episodes, I told her she had to get help, get on medication and become stable, or I'd never even let her meet you. But she did. She got on medication, stuck to a routine, healthy eating and exercise, no alcohol, the whole shebang. It worked. I made sure it worked, that she was okay. After I handed you over she called me a few times… I couldn't cope hearing about you, it hurt too much, but she had no one else to talk to, and she just loved you so much… It made me feel a little better, knowing that, knowing that she was still doing good, and so were you. The last time I saw her, before that night she ran, she was like she had been when we were younger. She was good, happy, things with Robert weren't good, it worried me even though she told me not to." She swallowed and said the words out loud she had never said before. "I thought about taking you, insisting she leave or I would just take you and she would never get to see you again… But you were two, you were clinging to her, I was practically a stranger to you, I couldn't take you from her."</p><p>David's anger deflated. He felt hopeless as he slumped back against the cold wall. "You weren't doing the best for me, you can tell yourself that all you like but you weren't, you were doing it for her."</p><p>"She's my sister." Longing and desperation was soaked into that word, as though it explained everything, made it all okay.</p><p>"You were my mom. That's all I ever wanted, my whole life, a proper mom." He let out an empty, heartless laugh. "Someone who was there, who took me to school, who made me do my homework every night even if I didn't want to do it. Someone who would notice when I didn't come home for days. Who would bake cookies, make sure I had school lunches, who would make sure I saw a doctor when I was sick."<br/>Tears spilled from David's eyes but he didn't bother to wipe them away or hide his crying, she wasn't worth his fronting. "I just wanted a mom, she loved me... but sometimes that's just not enough."</p><p>Mal's voice came out so quiet that she could only hope David would hear her. "I couldn't be it. I'm sorry David, I really am, but I just couldn't."</p><p>"I would have settled for having a dad." All the fight in David was completely gone. David had broken. Again. Tears were freely falling from his eyes and he did not care. "I would have settled for having a dad if it was Robin."</p><p>Silence fell upon the corridor. David could hear all those noises which had grounded him before, during his anxiety attack, keeping him grounded again, just.</p><p>"I am sorry, David." Mallory said finally, her voice still soft.</p><p>David didn't say anything. He couldn't accept her apology. He couldn't forgive and forget. Perhaps one day, when he was older, when everything wasn't so raw, but not now.</p><p>"I hoped that you would be like him. Your dad. That you'd be more like him than me. You look like him, and from what Robin's shouted at me you're like him in other ways too: That you're brave, and kind, and so very smart. He's so proud of you. I am too."</p><p>David just continued to stare down at his shiny black shoes, he felt sick, he wanted to tell her that she didn't get to be proud of him, wanted to demand to know why she hadn't mentioned him as Ruth's son if she wasn't ashamed of him being part of her story.</p><p>"David," her voice was begging now, "I really am sorry-." She cut herself off.</p><p>David shook his head as she said his name, still not looking up at her, unable to move for fear of vomiting. He didn't know what had cut her off until he felt a hand on his upper arm, he jumped anyway, but managed to look up, feeling less sick now that he was not alone in this small abandoned corridor with the stranger who was his mother: Regina was there.</p><p>Regina was turned towards David, her eyes examining his face and frowning at what she saw. "We got worried about you." She drew her eyes away from David's pale face to Mal's pale one, her words were still for David though. "Is everything okay here?" She could see the teenager nod in her peripheral vision.</p><p>David rubbed the tears from his cheeks with the butt of his palm. "Can we go home?"</p><p>Regina didn't hesitate. "Of course. I'll text Robin to meet us at the car." She moved her hand from his arm to his back to help him stand upright, it was also an excuse to keep him close. She spared a look back at Mallory de Vane who was staring at the two of them. "Mallory." She said in a curt farewell, before leading her stepson away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Monday morning and Robin already felt exhausted, the funeral had only been on Thursday, less than four days ago, yet here David was, determined to go to school. Both Regina and Robin had tried their best to dissuade him, the school had been sorted out before they knew when the funeral would be, they were certain he wouldn't be in the right frame of mind three and a half days after saying goodbye to the only family he had ever known. But David was insistent, in fact him telling them that he would be going to the taster day was one of the very few things he had said since the funeral, he had even refused to agree to hold off just a few more days. He was so bloody stubborn, Robin had grumbled in his head and to Regina.</p><p>Regina was equally as worried about David, but Robin could only tell that because he knew her so well, she was good at hiding her emotions, but he could always see them shining through her brown eyes. She assured him that if David needed Robin the school or David would call him, but it was clear that she was trying to convince herself too.</p><p>Roland huffed again into his cereal, his head in his hand as he deliberately clanged his bowl with his spoon under the pretense of moving the hoops from the milk. "It's not fair." he grumbled for the eight time in as many minutes.</p><p>Robin and Regina managed to refrain from rolling their eyes, David hadn't even heard him he was just staring into space, but Henry was not so polite, he rolled his eyes as he shoved a spoon of choco flakes into his mouth, when he swallowed them he had a big somewhat cocky smile on his face. "Everyone in the high school gets to wear their own clothes, I can't wait until I get to go, you've got to wait for years."</p><p>Regina shot her oldest a look. "Thank you." She told him, clearly meaning the opposite. She placed a cold smoothie in front of Margot and felt her head for a temperate at the same time. It was still high but she hadn't expected any different, Robin would be taking her for a check up after he took David to school anyway. She debated, not for the first time getting someone to cover for her just until after lunch when David would be home and she could make sure that her daughter and step son were both okay, but she knew she couldn't, too many people were already off sick. A glance over at David, staring off at absolutely nothing didn't make her feel any better about her choice, or lack thereof.</p><p>David had tuned out the noise of breakfast, he had been getting used to having these proper breakfasts, since he had moved in, recently he had been joining in with the boisterous debates his younger half siblings were having, but he had been avoiding them the past few days. He shifted in his seat when he felt a pair of worried eyes fall on him yet again, he was in a set of his new clothes, a white tee and a loose red plaid shirt, a pair of dark jeans which were tight enough that his leg brace fit over them with no discomfort, they all felt so new he had to move every now and again to remember that his body was his own.</p><p>His eyes blinked and suddenly he was not in the Locksley-Mills kitchen but in a motel in Pittsburgh, it could have been any motel really, they all looked near enough the same, the only way he could tell it was Pittsburgh was because James sauntered in with the familiar smirk on his face but his hair was cropped close to his head, something he had only recently done, and a dark leather jacket he had stole from the Goodwill while they were in Ohio, James said it was the only good thing in Ohio and they didn't deserve it. David was about to open his mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing here, but he wasn't sure if he was asking why James was in Maine, or why he was in Pittsburgh. But James just swiped a handful of bills from where their mom had left them the night before.</p><p>"C'mon Davey." He allowed his smile to twist younger, more mischievous, the brother who had always been and would always be there for David, a bond formed through trauma and time. "Ready for breakfast?"</p><p>A hard ball set in David's throat and he tried not to cry simply from hearing his nickname from James' voice again. But this wasn't happening, it wasn't happening, it wasn't-</p><p>The scene faded as quickly as it had appeared, his head snapped to the offending noise which had broken it. A plate full of breakfast foods, seemingly every breakfast food; bacon, turkey sausages, eggs, a pot of yoghurt, pancakes with butter, he followed the hand still holding the plate up to Robin and saw a green smoothie in his hand, the type he had seen Robin drink most mornings but had always refused the offer of.</p><p>It took him a few seconds to realise that the food on the table was for him. "I'm not hungry," he pushed it away, across the table towards Robin's place to demonstrate his point.</p><p>"You have to eat," Robin frowned. "Are you feeling okay?" He reached across the table to feel for David's temperature but David dodged it.</p><p>"I'm fine," David tried to sound calm but he was talking through gritted teeth, "I'm just not hungry."</p><p>Robin's hands rested on his hip as he looked down at his oldest. "You're eating or you're not going to school."</p><p>Henry and Roland, who at this point were arguing after Henry had unsuccessfully convinced his younger brother that his favourite cartoon had been cancelled, both stopped arguing immediately and dropped their spoons and forks into their bowls and onto plates.</p><p>Robin turned his head towards his younger sons. "You're both eating and going to school." He gave them his 'dad' look while trying to keep the corners of his mouth from turning up into a smile especially when they both let out groans and eyerolls, but they began eating again, Robin didn't miss Regina hiding a laugh into her coffee. He turned his attention back to David. He pushed the plate closer to him. "Eat."</p><p>"I'm not-!"</p><p>"David." Robin cut him off sharply. "I'm serious. If you're going to insist on going to school today then you're going to eat, you're going to take your medication, you're going to take my old phone and you're going to call me after each class so I know that you're okay."</p><p>David opened his mouth again to protest but the dad look Robin had used on his brothers was now dialled up and trained solely on him, with no hint of a smile to the serious thin line of his lips. David let out a sigh, picked up his fork, and grumbled a "Fine," as he moved the food around his plate. He only felt Robin's eyes leave him when he had eaten two forkfuls of pancake.</p><p>As he half listened to Robin and Regina talking about things about people he didn't know, and asked the boys and Margot questions and listened to their stories David thought about his brother again. Robin had told him this mismatch of breakfast foods was a first day of school tradition, but he had to force it down as he tried not to think about the traditional first day of school breakfast of an Apollo chocolate bar he and James would split at every new school. He was just glad that Robin hadn't added any chocolate to this meal or he might just have thrown up.</p><p>"Margot, not on David, he's still healing."</p><p>Regina's voice cut through his thoughts and when he looked up he sore Margot close to his side. Her bottom lip jutted out at whatever she was being denied, probably to be able to sit with him.</p><p>"But he's not got his arm thing."</p><p>Ah, that had been a point of contention between him and Robin, while his arm was still healing and sore it was no longer strictly necessarily that he wore the sling, he had only won as he pointed out that it would make it harder to get around and write while still using his crutch, and both the doctor and the physio had signed off on it.</p><p>"It's still poorly, munchkin, d'ya wanna come sit with me?" Robin sounded sympathetic.</p><p>David guessed that Robin was probably as powerless against her pout as he was, it was only made harder to resist now she was unwell, a nasty cold which required a checkup, she had already cried once that morning when she found out that David would be going to school for half the day. David reached out and tapped her arm with one finger, when she came a little closer he picked her up and shifted her onto his lap, he was rewarded with a huge smile from his sister and a barely contained sigh from his father. He counted both as wins, especially annoying Robin, it served him right for being in what David had taken to internally calling a 'dad mood' all morning. He wasn't in the mood for being parented.</p><p>Robin stopped himself from telling David to be careful with his arm, his leg, and the numerous other parts of his body still bruised and healing from being stitched back together, David already knew and catching sight of the purple bags under the teenagers eyes made Robin feel bad. He watched David squint ever so slightly down at his plate, the same thing Robin did when he was feeling worried, he wanted to ask if he was okay, if he was sure he didn't want just a few more dads at home. But neither of those would have worked on him when he was fifteen, he doubted they'd work on David.</p><p>He watched David place a happier mask on his face as he looked at Margot, then cut his pancake with his fork and pass the fork to her. It was sweet, it really was, still, Robin stood up, walked to the kitchen and came back with another fork, he held it out to his oldest child.</p><p>David looked up cautiously, waiting to be lectured or scolded, but Robin placed in on the table between them before holding his hands up in surrender. It was an olive branch. David felt bad at how hostile he had acted that morning, usually that was James' first day of school act, David had picked it up in his brother's absence. It just felt so alien to not be doing this with James. David picked up the fork and began to eat again.</p><p>Robin kept a close eye on both David and Margot as he shovelled cornflakes into his mouth, sugar heaped on before and after the milk was added like his mother had instilled in him growing up, he was rushing more out of habit than necessity as he and Regina were splitting up the school run. He also made a point of being extra involved in his boys' conversations, as he would be missing their usual school run conversation. Henry was talking about the gaming console he desperately wanted for his birthday, rather than discussing the birthday venue which Regina was trying to lock him into. Roland, on the other hand, was complaining that Henry's birthday was during the summer vacation while Roland's wasn't so he had to go to school, he looked between Regina and Robin as though either could do a thing about it, Robin became distinctly aware that Roland only had a short amount of time before he realised, like Henry before him, that his parents weren't as powerful or in control as he once thought, and after him Margot would discover the same. He felt suddenly cheated out of having the extra years with David. He tried to shove it from his mind even as he watched David sip the smoothie in front of him and surprise appeared on his face, then he took several more sips.</p><p>A small win that morning but a win nonetheless.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After he had eaten nearly half of the breakfast and all of the smoothie David was led into the living room by both Regina and Robin, while his brothers collected their bags and put on their shoes, he steeled himself prepared for yet another round of them trying to convince him to stay off school for a little longer, to stop being stubborn, was he stubborn? Probably. But that didn't mean that he was going to change his mind.</p><p>Instead the second he passed through the doorway Regina turned to him with a permanent marker. Okay now he was really lost.</p><p>"You're not going to make me have Robin and your numbers written on me in permanent marker, are you?" He injected humour into his jokey tone.</p><p>"Nah," there was a glint in Robin's smile and his mouth wove itself into a smirk like smile, but one full of humour rather than challenge, unlike James', "if we were doing that we'd be using a tattoo gun."</p><p>A laugh escaped David's mouth without his meaning to, still, he eyed the marker in Regina's hand. She smiled at him and he felt his fraying nerves calm at least a little, she nodded towards the doorway before him and he turned his head to look at it automatically.</p><p>"It's a family tradition for the first and last days of school, normally there's more time between then but it's still a tradition and it's still your first day." She eyed Robin and watched him shut his opening mouth, stopping himself from telling David that it didn't have to be his first day, presumably. She focused her attention back on David and found a blush in his cheeks, he looked flustered, and unless she was mistaken his eyes had a slight watery shine to them. She felt her heart flutter but before David could try to talk his way out of it, as she had noticed him doing normally on their behalf, she nodded at the doorway again. "Come on, before I go to work. Robin has terrible writing, if he does it we'll never be able to read it again."</p><p>Robin rolled his eyes but when he protested "It's not that bad!" he was clearly laughing.</p><p>David closed the gap to the doorway and stood back against it as Regina directed him to, he slowly edged himself onto his tiptoes.</p><p>A cough came from Robin and when David looked he saw the amusement on his face, David fell back onto his flat feet, his ears reddening ever so slightly at being caught and more so at Robin's clear amusement at his childish antics.</p><p>Regina marked the line then shooed David to the side, it was the tallest one but only a little taller than Henry's, he added his name, '9th Grade', and David's age- fifteen years and two months.</p><p>David couldn't take his eyes off of it. He had gone to so many schools that it was no longer seen as a big thing by Ruth, not that she had ever marked his height on the doorway. He looked at his siblings marks and ages, the shortest of which was Margot earlier that year when she started, there were marks racing up the wood with Roland and Henry's names, grades, and ages. His eyes fell on his own name, his own age, the new age mere months younger than he thought he was, but that loss felt like years when written in black permanent marker.</p><p>David was still staring at names on the doorway when the boys came thundering into the room. He was forced to look away from the marks which seemed like they should be so out of place in the massive and immaculate house, but somehow they weren't, they seemed perfect there, making the place feel like a home David wished, not for the first time, he could have lived in all of his life. Henry and Roland both hugged Robin goodbye, the older boy didn't even look embarrassed at doing so, unlike he had been when David had first moved in, they were becoming more like family.</p><p>And just like that Henry had locked David into agreeing to have a gaming session that night, something which was fast becoming a habit with the two brothers, Henry probably wouldn't have asked but David hadn't joined him in the days before and since the funeral.</p><p>Robin shared a secret smile with Regina when they heard the boys, David hadn't really been doing anything since the funeral, he had been staying in his room, he had been quiet, obediently eating only when Robin or Regina told him he had to, it had even made David pushing back over breakfast a small relief. Their smiles became less secret when David, in response to Roland's immediate pout, suggested all three of the brothers played Mario Kart on the old wii in the den, Roland beamed in response and Henry didn't seem too put out about having to share his bonding time with his older brother, David was still healing, but he would be okay, Robin was certain of it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A little over forty minutes after Regina and the two younger boys left Robin packed Margot into the car with David waiting behind them to be able to get into the passenger side without hitting Robin with the opening door. Robin shut Margot's door and stood ever so slightly out of the way, David went to open the passenger door but Robin placed his hand on it stopping him.</p><p>"I'm not trying to annoy you sunshine, I promise, I just… do you want to do this, it's not too late to change your mind, give yourself a few more days, eh? Just enough that you put some distance between you and the fu-"</p><p>"- I'm fine." David cut him off before Robin could say the 'f' word. If he didn't say it then perhaps David could pretend that Ruth and James were still out there somewhere, they were having adventures, that he was no longer part of it but that was okay because at least they were still alive.</p><p>"Stubborn bastard." Robin muttered not unkindly as he shook his head, the same feeling of not wanting to let go as he had when all of his other kids started school. He also had a very bad feeling about this, and he was powerless to stop it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The Storybrooke public high school was like no school David had ever been inside. It looked kind of like the well funded high schools he saw on tv shows, where they tried to make out that every high school was like that, rather than the ones in the wealthy neighbourhoods where people cared about the kids. The only reason why he was even certain that it was a public school was because there was a plaque on the wall which he read as they waited, declaring it one of the top twenty schools in the whole of New England. Part of the quieter part of his mind wanted to joke with Robin about him settling in a newer England than he had come from, but he felt too sick to let it pass his lips.</p><p>David felt like he should have been made to take a shower in the lobby, he was not like these sparkly clean model-like teens roaming the halls heading to homerooms, he was raised in the dirt and now he was out he wasn't sure he really wanted to be. He was playing the part well enough, his hair was smoothed down as well as it ever was, he had a brand new Norwegian sounding backpack, packed with pens and notebooks which were all miles and miles better than the ones he and James had stolen from the front desks at motels and out of the pockets of waiters when they hadn't been looking. In his front pocket of his jeans was Robin's old cell phone, it didn't seem old, it had a few scuffs on it but that was all, apparently Robin had been upgraded early but David wasn't so certain. It was a larger cell phone than he was used to but the pressure against his leg was a little box of security, reminding him that he would be okay, and that if worse came to worse he could call Robin, even if it felt like admitting defeat.</p><p>They were called into the office of the principal and David didn't think he had ever actually been to the actual principals office when he started at new schools, normally he was sent to a school administrator who would hand him a schedule and expect him to deal. This principal eagerly shook his and Robin's hands, welcomed David to Storybrooke, talked about the school, the AP classes, the help if David needed it, their councillors, their school field trips, extracurriculars and special guest lecturers. David was silent through it all, trying with all his effort to simply stay present. He let Robin field the questions for him. The principal went on to talk about how this would be a taster week and the teachers would casually evaluate him during his classes while they worked on attaining his school transcripts, with the help of David's social worker, they were welcome to try, but David doubted they'd be able to find them all, he couldn't and he had lived it.</p><p>"If you have any problems or you're in too much pain to continue just tell your teacher and we can sort out you going home early. Is that okay?"</p><p>David realised that the headteacher was talking to him, she was looking at him hopefully, like he was a bright young scholar, the promising future of the country, not the usual way headteachers looked at him as though he was five minutes away from turning into a juvenile delinquent. "Yeah, that's fine, it's good."</p><p>David wondered if the principal was surprised to hear his distinctly american twang compared to Robin's english lilt; they would have heard about how he was Robin's son, Storybrooke was a small town after all. The feeling of sticking out like a sore thumb was so familiar to David that he found some comfort in it.</p><p>"We'll have another meeting on Friday," she sent him a reassuring smile, "we're aware you've been through a lot, both recently and having a somewhat halted education, it could be that you benefit from attending our summer school program, or perhaps redoing your freshman year here." She waved her hands in a swiping gesture seeing something on David's face he didn't even know he was showing. "But we'll play it by ear and discuss this again later. If you have any questions at all my door is always open, I'm sure you'll see me around the campus, I try to make myself as available as possible."</p><p>And just like that it was over. They all stood, the principal first, then Robin and David, the principal shook their hands and told Robin that he could meet David in the lobby after lunch to take him home, and that she would take David to his homeroom where he would be meeting the boy he was to shadow.</p><p>It was only be there that David realised what Robin had clearly already cottoned onto, Robin was being excused, sent away. David felt a lump in his throat, he didn't want his father to go, by the looks of it Robin didn't want to leave him. But David's eyes shifted to his unwell younger sister who had been sitting so quietly with her doll at the side of the room David had almost forgotten she was there. It wasn't fair to ask Robin to delay taking her to the clinic, he had to be the bigger man.</p><p>"I'll see you later." He grunted and before he knew it he was being tugged into a hug.</p><p>"If you need me just call, I'll be here. Call me even if you don't need me, or text, yeah? Promise?" Robin whispered, holding his son tight until David nodded, then reluctantly let go.</p><p>As David was led off, limping after the chattering Principal, he could hear Margot crying over leaving him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>David didn't bother to try and memorise the school corridors as he was led through them, he had enough experience to know that each school had its eccentricities in layout and that it was in his best interests to just figure out who was in the same classes as him and follow them around until he learnt the layout himself, at worst he would just be late to all of his classes. He doubted Robin would give him too much hassle over being late, it wasn't like he had to stay invisible to avoid the attention of teachers and CPS, like he had while on the run with Ruth and James.</p><p>The homeroom James was dropped off in was full of other freshmen, they were all smiling and laughing despite the early hour, it was nearly summer vacation and judging by the way they all slumped in their chairs or hung over others desks laughing they were ready for classes to be over. Upon seeing the principal who led him in they quietened down and returned to their seats, but the wild smiles were still on their faces. The principal said good morning to the class and the practiced chorus of "Good Morning Ms Smith" rang back, David was introduced to the homeroom teacher, Miss Abraham, who seemed a little frazzled but otherwise nice. He didn't bother to remember too much about what she was saying, he was only going to be there for the last week, then he would be moved along with his group to their next year, complete with a different homeroom and tutor… if he was smart enough to be with this class or even the same year of course… He shouldn't think about it. Easier said than done.</p><p>He was introduced to a boy named Thomas, a sandy haired tanned guy a little taller than he was, when he came close to David to shake his hand David could see both the stubble forming on his jaw and the straight pearly white teeth when he smiled. And just like that he felt inadequate again. He tried to mask it and half listened to him as he chattered about the school's football and lacrosse teams and what lessons David would be shadowing him for, but David was busy looking behind him at the rest of the homeroom class. He immediately noticed the group he had seen in the diner a little over a week earlier while he was with Robin, the girl with the short dark hair was smiling at him again, there was a look of recognition in her face before her attention was won by the bronze haired guy in front of her.</p><p>"Mr Locksley-Mills? David?"</p><p>David flinched when he realised that not only was the homeroom teacher talking to him, but that he had been called by Robin's last name, his official last name, he supposed. He covered it up by giving the 'couldn't care less' look he had learnt to copy from James.</p><p>"Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?"</p><p>James would have said that he didn't, but David couldn't go quite that far. He turned towards the class again who were all now staring at him, no doubt evaluating his clothes, his hair, the clutch he was leaning against, the brace on his left knee.<br/>"I'm David, I've moved around a lot of places but the last place I was in was Pittsburgh, now I live here with my dad." He focused intently on making sure his ears didn't turn red at referring to Robin as his dad for the first time, outside of his head of course. There was a beat as the teacher waited for him to expand on his introduction but David didn't have anything else to say.</p><p>"O-Okay," She clapped her hands together and gave a look to the class. "I'm sure everyone in the class will join me in welcoming you to our town and school David, and if you have any questions, worries, or concerns feel free to ask myself or one of your peers."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first actual lesson David sat through went okay… theoretically. He didn't get kicked out, picked out to give an answer he didn't know, or yelled out. If it weren't for the fact that he had to try and keep himself calm the entire time he would have called it a success.</p><p>The next lesson, math, was much worse. It was like the wake all over again; he couldn't breathe, he felt like he was running on fight or flight, the crowded corridors on the way to the class had made it worse and now just sitting in the seat pretending to listen was nearly impossible.</p><p>It wasn't even half way through when it all became too much. He couldn't breathe, he tried the methods Doc Hop had taught him to centre himself, but he couldn't focus on the things he sensed, they were all just overwhelming, there was too much to see, to hear, he couldn't help but feel everybody's eyes on him as a bead of sweat rolled from his brow, everyone was looking at him, they must know everything about him, how he was the reason the car crashed, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even focus.</p><p>He stood up so quickly that his chair scraped against the floor before hitting the wall he had been pressed against. He didn't bother to speak or to even excuse himself before getting out of there as swiftly as he could.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>David found himself in a janitor's closet. He hadn't been able to find the bathroom and he had already made it halfway down the corridor by the time he had realised he had forgotten the crutch, he was able to limp still which was all that mattered, he just had to get away from that classroom, he needed somewhere quiet, somewhere where no one could see him, the closet was perfect.</p><p>He fell back against the door, sliding down it as he gulped down the chemical lemon scented air. He squeezed his eyes shut, he didn't know how much time passed but when he still couldn't breathe he dug his nails into the palms of his hands as he clenched them into fists, he kept them pressed even when he felt the twinge in his left shoulder, even when he felt the sharp in his palms. The pain was helping a little, reminding him that he was here, he was present, it brought himself back to himself enough to feel the ache in his whole body. It was too much, he shouldn't have even come, Robin and Regina were right, he couldn't do this, he couldn't sit in class, he couldn't even breathe.</p><p>Breath. Just breath. He continued to urge himself. He felt tears roll down his burning cheeks, he could hear himself hyperventilating.</p><p>James.</p><p>The worried look on his face which he tried to hide. Crouching in front of David, his hands on his knees, eyes flicking from David to the motel door and back again, debating how fast he could hotwire a car and drag David to hospital.</p><p>"Davey, just breathe. C'mon man, just slow your breathing. It's alright, I'm here, you're not alone. D'ya need some water?"</p><p>David shook his head. "N- No. I'm, it's okay. I'm okay. I just need…"</p><p>"Your dad?"</p><p>David physically startled. James was in the supply closet right in front of him. No he wasn't. He wasn't. He couldn't be. He was dead. James didn't even know about… "We're not brothers." He croaked, his voice a whisper, David knew that James wasn't really there, but still. "You knew."</p><p>"I wanted to tell you, when I figured it out." James hung his head. "I didn't want to lose you. We're a team, remember?"</p><p>David nodded his head slowly. The revelation, or the realisation, slowed his breathing. "I can't do this."</p><p>"That's okay."</p><p>"I don't want you to go… I miss you."</p><p>"That's okay too." He reached out and squeezed David's injured shoulder but it didn't hurt.</p><p>"You're not even here."</p><p>James shrugged and gave David his crooked smile. "You want me to say some cheesy crap about how I'm always with you?" He nodded his head towards David's jeans.</p><p>David dipped his shaking hand into his pocket, plucking out his cellphone, trumbling he unlocked it and picked one of the five numbers on the list.</p><p>"Hey, bud, how've your lessons been? You at break?"</p><p>David took a shaky breath, shook his head, before remembering that only James could see him.</p><p>"Kid? David?" Robin's voice grew louder and more concerned over the phone speaker. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Robin?" David's voice was barely a whisper. "Can you come get me? Please? I can't…" Tears began to form in his eyes again, he took another shaky breath, James gave him a silent encouraging nod, "I can't do this." He could feel the tightness in his chest even with James in front of him and Robin at his ear, possibly because of them, he was no longer on his own but that only made it worse.</p><p>Robin's panicked tone was clear even through the cell phone, even when he tried to keep it calm for David's sake. "Sunshine, are you in class?"</p><p>There was a noise as Robin moved wherever he was, and Margot's voice but David couldn't make out what she was saying, possibly a question. David shook his head before remembering he could not see him. "Janitor's closet." He mumbled.</p><p>"You alone?"</p><p>James placed his finger to his lips, a glint in his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Stay where you are sunshine, okay? I'm on my way now, I'm going to come and get you, just stay where you are, I'm coming."</p><p>David kept his phone pressed to his ear even after the disconnected tone sounded, he hadn't even realised Robin had hung up, he was too busy trying to breath, watching James scan the janitor's supplies in the room which was too dark for David to properly see. He had to breathe, just breathe, and hope that the room didn't run out of air. He put the phone back into his pocket.</p><p>A knock on the door sounded, David's head snapped to James, but his brother was long gone. He tried to stay silent, tried not to breathe too fast, to be too loud.</p><p>"David?"</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mary had been in math class talking to her boyfriend and walking on the equations on the board in front of her, or more honestly she had been trying to avoid talking to her boyfriend. Herc, full name Hercules much to his disdain, had been trying to talk her into attending the end of year celebration at his parents empty lake house, it wasn't a big deal that the house was empty it nearly always was and he would throw parties at least once a month, but Herc was always so proud of the extravagant end of year parties. The difference was this year school would not be ending on Friday for Mary, she wasn't bitter about it, she had the summer to come and catch up, but it did dampen her desire to celebrate with the rest of her friends and peers.</p><p>So she was trying to focus on the math in front of her, her time off of school had only reignighted her academic curiosity, even if it had put her behind that of her peers, she didn't technically need summer school, but she wanted to finish high school with a perfect GPA and she had missed a few classes so had negotiated it. She was proficient in maths, so long as she studied, her missing classes made that a little harder. She started when the loud scraping across the floor sounded, the bang of it being flung back against the wall, her skid skidded across her exercise book, marking it in blue pen. Brilliant.</p><p>By the time she had turned towards the sound the new boy, David, storming out of the room with a face like thunder. She turned back to his vacated seat behind her as the rest of the class whispered excitedly about this sudden drama. He had left his empty exercise book, his pen, his backpack, even the crutch he had been using to get around. She frowned before dropping her own pen, scooping up his crutch and following in his wake, making sure her teacher saw her and nodded so she would not get into trouble.</p><p>She caught sight of his styled blonde haired head as he limped far in front of her, she went to call for him, he didn't know her but she knew of him, her mother was friends with his step mother she had known about him even before he had come here, she felt a sense of obligation to helping him succeed. The next thing she knew he was ducking into a janitor's closet.</p><p>She waited outside, holding his crutch, for a little while, a few minutes, waiting for him to emerge, when he didn't she began to worry. There were lots of things in there which could be dangerous to him, to other people too, but mostly to him - box opening knives, chemicals… She pressed her ear to the door then knocked.</p><p>There was no noise other than some faint breathing from the other side of the door.</p><p>"David?"</p><p>She knocked again. "Er, David Locksley-Mills, Robin's son, right?" She listened to him gasp, a low murmur, him sucking in a gasp of air. "I know your dad, Robin, Regina too, I'm Mary."</p><p>"Mary?" There was a pause. "You know Robin?"</p><p>"Yes." She could hear that fear in his voice, the one only someone who had been in the same place could hear, those solitary times she found herself locked in a toilet cubicle gasping for air and hoping that no one saw or noticed. "My mom has been friends with Regina since they were in kindergarten, once Regina met your dad they were attached at the hip, I don't think my mom had much faith in getting to know your dad too."</p><p>She wanted to say that she had known both of them since she was small, a baby, even before Regina and Robin had become an item, according to her mother, everyone had known they would one day end up together. But how was she supposed to tell him that she had grown up knowing his family when he had not? "I have your crutch." She told him instead.</p><p>Another pause. Mary opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by David.</p><p>"Thank you. I'm sorry." His voice was uncertain, guilty, as he carried on. "You can leave it outside and go back to class."</p><p>"I think I'll stay." In her mind she tried to line up this insecure version with the guy with the angry face storming out of the class. "You just got me out of a very awkward conversation with my boyfriend, actually." And just like that she began to talk, telling him all about how she didn't want to go to this party, about how she had to go to go to summer school, how she didn't have to go, not really, but how she needed to. How she saw him in Granny's the other week, how her best friend's grandmother has owned it forever, how they do the best shakes in the whole of Maine, if not the whole of the US.</p><p>Before she knew it there were footsteps down the corridor, she looked ready to try to assure them that she was allowed out of class, without a hall pass, but saw the principal with Robin Locksley-Mills, she could see the similar face shape between the two Locksley men, and the similar look on Robin's face that David had been wearing when he had left class. She smiled at Margot whose worried look cleared when she saw her. The child wiggled out of her father's arms and rushed to Mary, hugging her when she did. Mary hugged her back.</p><p>"Ms Blanchard, are you okay?"</p><p>She waved off the principal's worries with the flick of her hand and a smile. "I'm fine." She looked to Robin, nodding her head towards the janitor's closet. "David's in there. I think he had a panic attack."</p><p>Any colour left on Robin's face immediately drained. He started towards the janitor's closet, his hand reaching out to the handle, it was locked.</p><p>Mary detached herself from Margot, handing the principal the crutch, she spoke to Robin. "His backpack and things are still in class, do you want me to go get them?" Her eyes flickered from Robin, to the principal, then back again, uncertain about what was going to happen.</p><p>"Thanks." Robin told her absentmindedly.</p><p>She took her leave walking slowly in the hopes that she would catch sight of David coming out of the closet, another part of it knew that if she caught sight of him after this he would never let her get close to him, and she had really enjoyed talking to him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Robin turned the door handle but found it would not move. He couldn't help but think of all of the worst case scenarios, out of all of the places for his son to be lock, particularly after an anxiety attack so bad he had actually reached out and begged for help, the janitor's closet where way too many dangerous things were kept was nearly slap damn bottom of the list. He didn't have any evidence which would even begin to suggest David could, would, or ever had, harmed himself, but he didn't know him that well.</p><p>He should have never let David come today, he could have put up with a sulky pissed teenager, it was too soon, he had only just moved here, he had only just lost the only family he had known, he wasn't ready and Robin had known it. It should have just waited for summer school, or to start him a year behind but better at the start of the school year.</p><p>He knocked on the door but was met with silence. "Sunshine it's me. It's dad, are you okay? Are you-" He came to a sudden halt realising that he had called himself dad for the first time to David, he needed time to think about it, to analyse and over analyse it, but now wasn't the time, "Are you okay kid?"</p><p>He felt the second tick by like hours.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>The end of his word was swallowed by a hiccup, Robin pressed his ear to the door and could hear shaky breaths and sniffling. He would have broken that door down with his shoulder right then right there had he not been worried about possibly hurting David. "Sunshine, I need to know, and no matter what your answer is you're not in trouble: are you safe? Have you hurt yourself or gotten hurt or anything?"</p><p>Another sniffle but this time a clear "No" followed it.</p><p>He didn't seem to be lying and Robin thanked his lucky stars. "Good. That's good sunshine."</p><p>"I couldn't do it."</p><p>Fear froze the blood in his veins. "What? You couldn't do what, David?"</p><p>…. "School. It was too loud, everything was too loud, too bright too much," his voice hitched and after three kids Robin knew it was because he was beginning to cry, "it was too much."</p><p>"It's okay David. It's okay, it's not your fault, it was just too soon, that's all, I shouldn't have brought you here, it's perfectly understandable."</p><p>"-'m sorry."</p><p>"Hey, sunshine, it's not your fault. I'm the- I shouldn't have brought you. It's okay, we lived and we learnt." He really was turning into his mother wasn't he? "We can go home now, if you want?"</p><p>"...Home?"</p><p>"Yeah, bud, home, Go-Go and I came to pick you up, to take you home." There was silence. "Kid?"</p><p>"Y-yeah?"</p><p>"Can we talk without this door in between us?" He normally would have teasingly called him pretty boy but he wasn't sure if David was up to banter right then.</p><p>"... Y-yeah."</p><p>"Okay, good, that's good David. Can you unlock it for me?" He waited until he heard the click of the lock to turn the doorknob. He wasn't religious but he was thanking the gods for that noise and the feel of the turn. "I'm going to open the door now, sunshine, can you move back for me?"</p><p>He waited a few seconds before slowly opening the door.</p><p>There in the dark on the floor sat David, his hair was a mess, the same way Robin's got when he was stressed, his eyes were rimmed with red and still had tears falling from them, He looked exhausted, he looked distraught, he looked like a scared little kid, years younger than he really was. Robin didn't hesitate in closing the gap and crouching in front of him and pulling him into a tight hug, cradling the back of his head, pressing his lips to the top of it, rocking him ever so slightly.</p><p>Robin stayed crouched on the ground with him as long as his middle aged joints would allow. Finally he pulled back enough to see David's tear streaked face. Robin used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away some which had just fallen. He remembered his own father would carry a handkerchief and would sometimes give it to him to allow him to wipe his own tears away, when he was very small back in London, that was.</p><p>"Can we really go home?"</p><p>Robin's heart nearly broke, he wasn't sure if it was his own childhood memories sneaking beneath the banner he had in place, David's desperate tone, or the fact that he didn't pull away from Robin's fussing, which wasn't that bad other than it being a sign that David was truly wrecked. "Of course." He ran his hand through his son's golden waves before dropping another kiss onto them. "Let's go home sunshine."</p><p>He pushed himself to his feet, god he really needed to start going to the gym again, before helping his son up. The anxiety attack had really done a number on him, Robin threw his arm around his shoulder to support him.</p><p>Margot, who had been standing with the principal now had David's things beside her.</p><p>David didn't focus on anything other than breathing and putting one foot in front of the other, he didn't pay attention as the principal handed Robin all of David's things, save for the crutch which David held, preferring instead to lean against Robin. He didn't listen as Robin and the principal had a hushed and rushed conversation, David truly didn't care anymore.</p><p>As Robin led him off, Margot holding carefully onto his dangling arm, David looked back to the closet he had locked himself in. He wondered if James' ghost would visit him again, he wondered what it said about him that he was longing desperately for a hallucination.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robin swigged down the last of his now lukewarm coffee from his ‘number one dad’ mug as he left his office, there was still a smile on his face but he felt tired, exhausted in fact, thanks to his hectic morning. He had insisted on being part of the very last lesson for his class, technically it was an extra lesson his students had begged him for so they could say goodbye, he had been teaching them law for years now, it was bittersweet to see them moving onto pastures new. He promised them that he would give them any references they needed if they emailed him, and gave out his facebook and Linkedin, assuring them that if they popped into the university at some point during the fall semester he would be there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked from his office to the nearby den, the place had probably the oldest and coziest furniture in the house, the room was also full of toys, games, and books, along with photographs and pictures of and by the kids through the years. Margot was where he had left her a little under an hour earlier, lying on the couch with a juice pouch, a (now eaten) bowl of ice cream, staring at the tv in the entertainment center. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey munchkin.” He cooed sitting down beside her. He felt for her temperature and checked the clock hanging on the wall, then reached over her for the bottle of banana flavoured medicine. “How’re you feeling?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ice cream made me feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a small chuckle. “You can have some more a little later, time for more medicine. How’s your throat feeling?” He poured the medicine into the cap before feeding it to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lil scratchy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin winced in sympathy, he hated seeing any of his kids ill, Margot was his youngest and his only girl, and unlike his boys didn’t bother to try and hide being sick. He pulled her onto his lap and cuddled her close, the doctors visit had been fairly quick, she was still sick but the medicine was working, it did mean, much to Margot’s chagrin, that she would be missing her final week of kindergarten. They had been home and he was watching some cartoons with her when David had phoned, she didn’t make a noise of complaint when he hurried her out of the door and drove at the very limits of the speed limit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he was certain that she had fallen asleep Robin moved his daughter to lay on the couch, he tucked a light blanket over her. He took one step away when he heard her stir, he looked back down at her and found her blinking up at him. “Go back to sleep Go-Go,” he soothed, “I’m just going to check on your brother, I’ll be back in a minute.” He began to walk out of the room slowly, ready to go back to her if she asked, protested, or even if she coughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, what’s wrong with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin stayed perfectly still then slowly turned on his heels to face her, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side, his face folded softly into confusion, but before he could say anything the six year old spoke again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was he in the room by himself, it’s dangerous in those rooms, my teacher told me, we’re not allowed in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin walked back over and perched on the couch next to her legs giving her a gentle smile. “Your teacher is right, you should never go inside one of those places, there’s a lot of dangerous cleaners and things. David shouldn’t have gone in there, he’s just… he’s kind of poorly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has he got a cough like me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a tiny sigh like laugh, he reached out and stroked Margot’s hair, he wished it was that simple. “No, baby it’s a bit different, it’s all locked inside of him.” He could see her confusion and didn’t blame her. “Do you remember how you feel whenever you get split up from me and mummy while we’re in a store?” He watched her bite her lip and nod, a flash of emotion from her memory of feelings appeared on her face before disappearing. “It’s kind of like that, David feels like that all of the time, even though it’s not happening. It’s not his fault but it can be very scary for him, I think. He’s poorly in his head, it’s just another type of being poorly, but it’s very hard for him.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He had a sudden fear that Margot would bring it up to David, how he would react, he couldn’t imagine David hurting her but he would be hurt from her even knowing, he didn’t want their blossoming relationship to suddenly dissolve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Margot was silent for a moment. “Will he ever get better?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin pulled him back onto his lap and cuddled her close. He shouldn’t have worried about her saying anything. He pressed a kiss on top of her blonde hair, a similar shade to David’s. “He will. He just needs time, and help from all of us just being around him and loving him, and he sees a special doctor who helps him try to get better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he have to take medicine like me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, honey, not yet, he might one day though, I’m not sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Margot let out a sigh and curled closer to Robin. “I wish he wasn’t sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin squeezed her as he held her tight. “I do too, Go-Go, but I promise he’ll be okay, he’ll get better, it’ll just take a while.” She was quiet for a while before he realised she had fallen asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stayed with her for a while longer, he missed the moments like this when his kids were toddlers, the moments when they fell asleep on him and were so peaceful, still, when they were sick as much as it broke his heart, at least he got glimpses into the past during this brief moments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Regina’s number out of muscle memory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard her panic through his phone speakers as soon as the call connected, he quickly soothed her worries, he had called her when they had gotten home and David had gone for a nap, he had eventually persuaded her that she didn’t need to come home, that he had it handled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about your day?” He requested when she had calmed down, and hearing her voice as she talked about her morning calmed him down too, eventually she finished, he told her about his and Margot’s conversation about David’s anxiety attack, then he sat quietly for a moment, before he realised that he was watching the Moana movie Margot had recently been watching as much as she was allowed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Go must be sick, she hasn’t even tried to get me to sing along to her bloody movie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He listened to her laugh and felt more like himself, she told him to be grateful it wasn’t Frozen again, the call had done its job. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winced when she asked how David was doing. “I was going to check on him before I talked to Margot, but she fell asleep on me, I think he’s still asleep, I’ve not heard any noises,” his eyes flickered up to the ceiling as though expecting to see a sign, “I’m going to check on him now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stayed on the phone a little longer, neither of them saying much, until he eventually hung up.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>As always, whenever Robin entered David’s room, he was struck by the emptiness of David’s room. He and Regina had both suggested to him a couple of times that they go shopping for new things for it, things to make it more his; paint, rugs, posters, even new furniture if he wanted it, but things had been busy and David seemed uncomfortable at the idea of making his own mark on the room. Robin tried not to see that as a bad sign. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The double bed was in the middle of the room room, on it David was in the middle, curled in on himself, his arms shielding his head like someone in a bomb blast, Robin frowned, did he always sleep like this or was he having nightmares? He wanted to check closer but was scared to wake him, there had been bags under David’s eyes earlier, ones too heavy for an adult let alone a fifteen year kid. He waited silently for a few seconds to see if he would wake up, when he didn’t Robin turned to leave, only to catch sight of the cardboard box on the desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed it almost immediately as the cardboard box holding the evidence from the car crash, partially due to the evidence sticker on the side, and the sign from the Pittsburgh PD. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to invade David’s privacy, he really didn’t but… he could just say that he was just checking to see if it was empty and needed to be put in the recycling…. Sure. He opened the top, expecting it to at least be mostly empty, but it was full, he hadn’t looked inside of it before but it was full enough that he knew for a fact that David hadn’t moved anything from it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it he had given in to his curiosity and was quietly looking through the items, he didn’t even know what he was searching for, perhaps some hint of who his son had once been, items David had chosen to own rather than clothes influenced by Robin, or things </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ruth</span>
  </em>
  <span> had chosen to keep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Near the top were a few things, mostly scraps of metal or fabric, he wasn’t certain why the cops had bothered to give those back to him, along with a couple of paperbacks, a small tin with a barely distinguishable ‘Hartford CT’ on the front - he didn’t open it, that was apparently the line he was planning on drawing in the sand, there were some photographs though, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> look at those. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were about seven, most of them were of places around the US, Robin didn’t spend too long looking at those, there were two barely scorched ones, however, he did linger on. A younger David with a younger James, they couldn’t have been more than seven and eight, they were both wearing caps with pokemon on them, they were smiling with their arms wrapped around each other, David seemed especially tanned, he had to smile at that, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> genetics, he knew that for certain. They were covered in scrapes and bruises, bandaids, which could have been the result of being children, or could have been the result of being the children of Robert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was another of the boys, a little older this time, with Ruth. They were in front of a beat up old car in front of a pastel coloured motel, someplace warm, Florida, perhaps, near a beach, he realised when he squinted at the background. He was a little surprised to find that James was sporting a bruised eye, David had a few too, Robin frowned, he didn’t know why they were injured, he tried not to be suspicious, but seeing </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> son smiling beside Ruth. He tried, as he always did when he saw, or even thought about Ruth, to not feel jealous or bitter- to not dwell on wishing that he had raised his son: it was harder for him to struggle with that jealousy after that morning, after seeing David alone and scared in the janitor’s closet, how he thought that he had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>beg</span>
  </em>
  <span> Robin to take him home, how he looked so young… how all of this could have been prevented had he raised David.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him some minutes to force himself to put the photographs down, to stop staring at David, to stop feeling jealous of Ruth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to go searching for more photographs: a desperate man, searching for a single glimpse of his son; when he caught sight of a white envelope the exact size and shape of the one Ruth had left him, he had forgotten all about his letter, he picked it up automatically, he thought that it was his, only when he turned it over did he realise that it was David’s. He frowned, turning it over again, and sure enough he had not been mistaken: David had not opened the envelope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he knew the envelope was snatched from his hands. There was such a ‘not- David’ like aggression in the action that Robin turned expecting an intruder, instead he came face to face with his son: His blue eyes were rimmed with red from his earlier breakdown, his hair all mussed up and curled, but his face was now contorted in anger- his eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared, his lips forming a snarl as he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Each word slipped out of his mouth in an aggressive growl, words sneaking like panthers in the dark coming up on prey, barely restrained violence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cut it with the curse words.” Robin’s response slipped out automatically and he knew it was a mistake straight away, he was the one caught searching through David’s things, he was the one in the wrong and he knew it. Before he could say anything else, before he could apologise, David continued, now spluttering venom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s mine- you can’t just fuckin’- just-!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-I know, I know.” Robin held his hands up calmingly but it seemed to have no effects in waning David’s anger. “I thought that it was my letter, I forgot I even had it, mine’s downstairs, but I thought this was mine-.”</span>
</p><p><span>“I </span><em><span>wouldn’t</span></em> <em><span>steal</span></em><span> your shit-!”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Woah! Woah!” Robin raised his voice to be heard above David’s. “I didn’t say that you did, that you would,” he supposed he had implied it but he wasn’t about to admit that, “it was only when I read your name on the envelope that I remembered that mine is in my office, it was impulse to pick it up. I honestly didn’t mean to, didn’t intend to, invade your privacy, kid. I just- I just came to check on your and…” He trailed off shaking his head ever so slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David bared his teeth, an injured and cornered wild animal, ready to attack and run. “I’m not Margot. I’m not a little kid, you don’t have to check on me, I haven’t needed it before I don’t need it now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin forced himself to ignore David’s attack, it stung like a nettle, but he also knew by now that David hit out when he was feeling vulnerable. “You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> kid. And even when you are fifty I will still be checking on you, especially after mornings like this morning.” He watched David look away, he could practically feel his anger fading, it was being replaced with shame, which hadn’t been Robin’s intent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a sigh deciding to change the subject, he lowered his voice to one he hoped would be comforting. “Look, I talked to the school, the headteacher; we thought it’ll be best for you to just start in the autumn, the fall, do your freshman year right.” He smiled at his son encouragingly, waiting to watch the relief spread across David’s shoulders, to see the anger and shame to fade away from David’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David felt something snap inside of him. He wasn’t sure if it was because Robin had seen him earlier- so vulnerable, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>pathetic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, earlier; or if it was the fact that this ‘conversation’ came up so casually that it reminded David of the countless times Ruth would pick them up out of a place at whim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was no longer inside of himself but outside looking at himself erupting. “So you just decided that, without even talking to me?!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s eyes widened at the shout which emerged from his teenage son, his face had redden and the anger in his eyes made the earlier anger look like nothing. Robin couldn't help but remember the fear he had when he found out that David was locked in that janitor’s closet, the uncertainty over whether he was okay, if he was going to hurt himself, or worse. That feeling resolved his nerves. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You weren’t ready,” he told him firmly, his hands going to his hips as he narrowed  his eyes trying to stare David down. “We should have just waited in the first place. You weren’t ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘We’? ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’</span>
  </em>
  <span>? There’s no ‘we’!. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one who had to go to the classes! Who has to be the </span>
  <em>
    <span>freak</span>
  </em>
  <span> in class who doesn’t fit in - and now on top of that I have to be the oldest one in there!?! I get to be the dumb one who can never get higher than being a freshman!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not ready.” Robin felt his own temper flare. “You’re not dumb, David, but you’ve miss out on a lot of schooling, and you’ve been through a lot, you’re still healing - you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need time</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And like it or not, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sunshine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I am your father and I’m in charge of making sure that you’re okay. I’m not about to see you like you were this morning, you can hate me if you want, but this is what’s happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David clenched his fist, his jaw, anything and everything to stop himself from punching Robin’s face. “So I don’t even get a say in my own life?” There was a beat of silence and when he spoke again his tone was as low and dangerous as he had been since Robin had called himself David’s father. There was a challenge in Robin’s eyes, he was not about to back down. “You’re right. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> hate you. You’re just like Ruth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David watched Robin’s head fall, saw him shake his head, and sighed. It only stoked David’s fury.  When Robin looked back up David could see the new pity in Robin’s eyes. He watched him open his mouth, he knew that he was about to ask David what was going on, David wouldn’t be able to cope with that, he’d either punch Robin or break down, neither were acceptable. “Get. Out.” He growled. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He could see irritation appear back in Robin’s eyes but he didn’t care, it was better than that pity.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You say this is my room, that I should ‘feel at home’ in your house, then </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> off out of my room!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin tried to keep hold of his temper, he reluctantly stepped back out of the door, only so that David knew that they meant what they said; that David had a say about his space, it didn’t mean he had to like it though. “You’re grounded.” He ground out as soon as he was over the threshold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The only fucking person I get to see is you anyway.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door was slammed in Robin’s face before he could say another word, it took everything he had not to storm in there and continue the argument, the argument which seemingly came from nowhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Henry edged into the kitchen several hours later where his mom and dad were both working together to plate up spaghetti bolognese, his younger siblings were already sat at the table and for once Roland was patiently pretending to listen to whatever it was Margot was talking about. By the time Henry closed the gap to his parents they were both looking up at him, then behind him, then back at him, frowns already on their faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see the anger Robin was trying not to show in the stiff way he held himself. He had overheard Robin and Regina talking about the fight between Robin and David, even if he hadn’t the tense atmosphere of the house would have given it away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry’s hand went to the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had picked up from his father, and shifted his mouth from the left to the right, a nervous habit he had picked up from his mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He, erm, he said he wasn’t hungry?” He hadn’t said it more than shouted it when Henry had knocked on his door, when Henry had made it clear that it was him not Robin David had calmed a little, but was still adamant he wasn’t going to be eating, nor had he opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina’s tongue flicked across her lip as her eyes fell shut for a mere second longer than it would have taken her to blink. At the same time she reach over over to her husband, took hold of his muscled arm, and managed to get out a warning “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin-</span>
  </em>
  <span>” by the time her husband placed down the pot a little too heavily to be anything but intentional and stormed out growling “He needs to eat. Start without us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina sighed. Robin hadn’t yet realised how alike Robin David was, while Robin didn’t tend to get angry easily when he did it was something which was only cured with time and him calming himself down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry was still looking a little nervous, not used to seeing Robin nor David angry, Regina gave him a motherly smile. “There’s nothing you could have done.” She assured him, picking up the pot of the pasta and the bowl of salad. “Can you carry the garlic bread over, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She made a mental note to put aside David’s knowing that Robin’s endeavour would be fruitless.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin hammered on the door with his fist until it was flung open. The second it gave way he told him firmly. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to eat.” It was only once he had eaten did he take in David’s pale face, thanks to time out of the sun while he was healing, the purple bags under his eyes were even more evident now, as was the red rimming them, redder than they had been earlier, he must have been crying more, maybe even another anxiety attack, this time without calling on him for help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hungry. I told Henry already. I don’t want your pasta I want you to fuck off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>care. You’re going to come downstairs, you’re going to eat, you’re going to stop bloody swearing at me, and you’re going to stop sulking.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them. He sounded much too like his father, something he had been avoiding his entire life, and it had slipped out so easily it cooled his anger and chilled his spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to carry me down?” There was challenge in his voice and ice in David’s tone which was so disconnected that it was outright dangerous compared to his anger. “I’m staying in here unless you physically force me. It’s your choice, Robin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a heavy sigh, dropping his head to look at the wooden hallway floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I didn’t think so.” There was a beat before David slammed the door in Robin’s face again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin listened for a minute, there were no sounds of David walking away from the door, but there were also no sounds suggesting Robin had caused another panic attack. He looked up at his hand which had raised as soon as the door had been shut, ready to knock on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped his hand. He didn’t want to get into another argument, he didn’t want to sound like his father again, he didn’t want to say something he didn’t mean.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span> Tuesday had brought about sunshine and showers, hope and reticence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin had been checking on David from the early hour which he awoke to go for a morning jog, when there had been no signs of life from outside of the room Robin had peeked inside, again David was sleeping with his body curled in on itself, his arms over his head, his knees to his chest, but fast asleep. On David’s side table the now cold dish of pasta and garlic bread were untouched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He checked on him again when he got back to the house as the sun began to rise a little before six, Robin was drenched in sweat, his hair and beard damp from it, his face red with heat, David was still fast asleep, Robin tiptoed in, closing the curtains and blinds tighter so David would not be woken by the sun, he needed the sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was asleep when Robin woke the other boys for school, he was asleep, according to Regina’s own investigation, when Regina appeared back downstairs dressed and showered, helping herself and Roland to some breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was asleep when Regina, Henry, and Roland left for school and work, when Robin checked on the still sleeping Margot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was asleep when half the morning had passed, after Robin had answered an email promising to come up with a silabi within the fortnight, and spent the rest of the time watching mind numbing cartoons with his daughter, because she had asked him to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin set Margot up with some colouring when he next went to check, around lunchtime, deciding if he was still asleep he would have to wake him, however this time his gentle knock on David’s door was met by an even gentler “Come in.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin thought that he had imagined it, but when he pushed the door open he was met by the sight of David in his rumpled pyjamas sitting at his desk, even now his knees were close to his chest, rather than sitting on it correctly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was biting his lip when Robin walked in, his hair was even messier than normal as though he had been running his hands through it since he had woken up, he was pale, his under eyes still had purple bags but much smaller than they had been the night before, if he had a few more nights like the night before they might be gone entirely. His storm sea blue irises stood out in contrast against the red rimmed eyes. He had been crying, a lot, there were still signs of the tear trails on his cheeks, and he couldn’t even look at Robin, this time it was clear to Robin that it wasn’t in anger, but the shame which coloured his ears ever so slightly pink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In front of David was a piece of paper, a letter, which had been ripped into small pieces, </span>
  <em>
    <span>the letter</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was clear that David was trying to piece them back together again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin disappeared without a word being spoken between the two Locksleys, when he appeared again a minute later he had a tape dispenser in his hand. David looked at him for a mere second before quickly staring at the dispenser in Robin’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin chose to close the gap from the doorway to the desk, it wasn’t a large gap, but it was a clearly intentional gesture, showing David that he was here, not in an aggressive gesture, but in a reassuring ‘I’m here, no matter what, whenever you need me’ sort of way. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He held the dispenser towards David. “Peace offering?” When David took it and glanced up at him Robin offered him a small and cautious smile. When David didn’t shout or fight, Robin continued, taking the absence of both as good signs. “I used to be really good at puzzles, when I first moved to this country, my mother used to have books full of them, we competed to see who could finish them first. I won’t read it, not unless you ask me to, but I can help you put it back together, if you like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t read it.” David’s voice was young and soft. “I just- I just got so bad and I just fu- I broke it, I ruined it, I…” His voice hitched as a sob broke from his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you, I’m so-” He was cut off by suddenly being pulled into a tight hug, his head buried into his father’s shoulder, David didn’t protest, instead he clung to him as he allowed himself to sob again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin held David tight, he carried on holding him as David’s hands clutched at the back of his tee, he led his head on the top of David’s automatically dropping a kiss onto his messy dirty blonde hair, murmuring a chorus of shhh’s and “It’s going to be okay”’s. It didn’t take a genius to realise that David thought he had messed up their relationship, that he had ruined it, Robin hated the feeling that sank into his stomach at the mere suggestion that David believed that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the sobs finally died out Robin sat them both on the bed, still holding onto David until David himself let go, even then he kept his hands on David’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Robin started, ignoring David’s shaking head. “I really am. I shouldn’t have gone through your things without your permission, that was wrong, I really am sorry, it won’t happen again. I’m also sorry that I didn’t talk to you about school, really I am, you’re right, you deserve input into your life, I was trying to protect you I swear, but it was the wrong way to go about this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin watched David bite his lip, he gently knocked David’s chin with his knuckles, David took the hint and stopped biting his lip. Robin gave him a gentle smile. “You haven’t ruined anything, Sunshine,” his voice was quiet and soft, “not with your moms letter, not with you and me. Nothing could ruin that, you know that, right?” The way David’s eyes looked away Robin realised that perhaps he didn’t know. “You’re my kid, I might be late to the game but i'm here and I’m never going away, you can shout at me all you like, I’m always going to be here, and I’m always going to be in your corner, bud.” When a tear slipped down David’s cheek Robin wiped it with the pad of his thumb. “Are we okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David nodded. “Y-,” he cleared his throat when it came out thick, “yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin smiled, and although he had been fairly certain of the answer David confirming it was like a weight being lifted from his shoulders. “Good.” He let out in a sigh. “I talked to your school again, not to confirm anything,” he added quickly, a little louder alarmed that he might be about to start another fight, “just to discuss options. I still don’t think you should go back for the last few days of school, I think you just need a little time, but if you desperately want to I can talk to the school again, or there’s option A.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s option A?” David asked as Robin was certain he was going to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The school and I discussed the possibility of you attending the summer school; it’s a bit more low key than the school would be, less people there, still lessons little projects, some group projects I think, they think that perhaps you can get caught up by the end of summer - they’ll give you some tests to do at the end and if you pass with C’s in everything you can join the rest of the sophomores in the fall. We can even get you tutors, if you want. No one will judge you if you want to just start anew in the fall, you can even tell people that you’re younger than you are, a few months younger and you could have been in that class.” He finished with a shrug, he had tried not to put any weight to any of the options, he didn’t want to influence David’s choice. Or at least that was what he had tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David could see the clear and hopeful look on Robin’s face as he explained the summer school option, he could see how hard he had tried, had fought the school for this option, all because David had lost it: No. All because David had wanted it. Had begged for it. And Robin had done it. His face ached from all the crying he had done, still he forced a smile onto his face, allowing it to become a not quite smirk like teasing smile. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re not worried that the summer school delinquents will corrupt me?” His voice sounded betrayed, shocked, curious, all designed to make Robin laugh, and it worked, Robin let out a loud bark like laugh and David’s face broke into a wider, more genuine smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I know you’ll be the one to corrupt them.” He joked nudging David with his shoulder to show that he really was joking. He watched David laugh and all of this seemed worth it. “Anyway, not everyone there will be a delinquent, a lot of kids there will have just had absences which mean they have to, some just take extra classes to try and get ahead.” He saw the incredulous look on David’s face and remembered the same look on his own face when he had heard about those people, as an adult he supposed it made sense, the school had enough teachers working the summer that they may as well take advantage of it. “It’s up to you, Sunshine, we’ll support you however you need it, me, Regina, your siblings, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s okay to start as a Freshman next year instead, it’s really not a bad thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know, I just… I just want to try. I…” He looked sheepish again. “I always thought that I’d be able to do it somehow, when we were on the road, Jamie always said I could, he made sure we got registered at schools, that I went, even though he didn’t, that I did okay, got good grades.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin wrapped his arm around his son and pulled him into a side hug. It made sense, David had something to prove, Robin got that, he had been that kid once, the one who felt different, who was in a new town, who desperately needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He understood him better than David would ever realise, but he wished that David didn’t have to have that on his shoulders too. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He sounds like he was a very good brother, Sunshine, but he would have understood this: trust me. He wouldn’t want you putting too much on yourself either. He was already proud of you, he would be no matter what, I know because I am too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David blushed at the praise, looking down at his toes on the cream woven rug on the floor. David thought about the hallucination of his brother during his anxiety attack, he hadn’t had anymore hallucinations, not that he was aware of anyway, but it still scared me. He wanted to tell Robin, to have him solve it for him, but he didn’t want Robin to think that he’s crazy, he didn’t want to be kicked out or locked up in some psychiatric hospital, he knew that he needed to tell Robin… but he wanted just a little more time with his new family, just in case telling him ruined everything. He would give himself until Friday, he could tell his shrink, it would give him more days and would allow him to tell Doctor Hopper and not have to see Robin’s face when he found out that David was crazy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin continued. “Now, come on, you need to eat- you’ve not had dinner </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> breakfast, we need to do some grocery shopping tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure we have enough to whip something up for you.” He stood up and automatically reached out to run his hand through David’s untamed curls, a comforting gesture, he smiled at his son before holding his hand out to help David up to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But David stared up at him, his head tilted to the side in what Robin had come to think of as David’s trademark ‘confused puppy’ face. “What?” He asked him not unkindly, just intrigued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, you’re just always…” David trailed off with a shrug before gaining his nerves once again. “Ruth wasn’t like you, she wasn’t ‘touchy feely’, not when she was sober anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin frowned. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-I don’t mind it.” David interrupted him, he shrugged again but he was trying too hard to be casual for it to work. He looked away as Robin’s face broke into a wide smile which the older man tried to hide so not to scare him off, David accepted his hand, standing up, as soon as he was upright Robin’s arm wound around his shoulders to steer him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, I’ve managed to keep your sister downstairs and not bugging you all morning. You should probably pick a disney movie you like, or at least don’t watching repeatedly, before Go forces you to watch Moana about eight times.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shrugged again, a teasing smile teasing his lips again. “I’m find with that, I’ve not actually seen it, we can watch it nine times if she likes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin groaned loudly as he steered his son out of the room. “You both live to torment me, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fun.” David stated not hiding his smile, his head tilted a little to the side as they walked down the corridor. “Am I really grounded?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out another groan this one wasn’t dramatic, instead was in self flagellation. “I shouldn’t have grounded you, David, I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” David gave a small shrug, still smiling. “It’s not like there’s much to ground me from anyway.” David chuckled before becoming serious once again. “Could you ring the school? Tell them that I want to do the whole summer school thing?” He took Robin’s wide smile as a good sign. “But if everyone there is weird I’m dropping out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “Okay, but we’ll be talking about it before you go dropping out, especially if it’s just because someone wears a wizard outfit to every class or something. I’m sure it’ll be fine, kiddo, there might be people your age there, you might make some friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David could hear the hopeful hint in Robin’s voice, it was so different to Ruth’s urging him to be invisible in school, David felt the need to warn him. “I don’t really do the whole friends thing.” And for once he hoped that he was wrong.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robin was touched to see his oldest and youngest children getting along so well, he was, however, wishing that they weren’t getting along </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> so well. Not because he was jealous that David seemed to have connected with Margot but it was always hit and miss with him, or because he didn’t want Margot getting close in case David wasn’t sticking around (there was no way he was going to be letting his son go ever); but because his son and his daughter were currently both singing a song which Robin could only guess was entitled ‘I know a song that will get on your nerves’, considering that was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>lyric.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had been no more arguments between him and David for two days, the day and a half since Robin watched David cautiously allowing himself to feel settled again, it was hard to watch David behaving like a spooked animal again, it was hard to see him acting less spooked around others, he understood, he really did, but it was hard knowing that he didn’t have the bond with David he wanted, not yet at least.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned up the volume to the Thin Lizzy CD playing in the car to try and drown out his kids’ purposely (or he hoped purposely) off pitch singing. He caught a look of David’s face out the corner of his eyes, David was glancing at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a similarly mischievous smile on his face, he sang louder, Margot in the back joining in. Robin let out a low chuckle and shook his head looking, allowing himself to look fully at David, the teenager seemed like a completely different kid from the other day, there was a new mischievous streak in him which Robin hadn’t seen before, it reminded him of how Mal had once been, before they had all passed the bar, before Mal had gotten pregnant, and for once the similarities didn’t sting.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin pulled into a parking space at the front the the big supermarket on the edge of town, it was surrounded by the forest which boarded three quarters of the town, purposely hidden so not to be an eyesore in the picturesque Maine town, after a petition by the disgruntled older residence moaning that it might look a little ugly. Robin climbed out of the car, helping Margot out and to the sidewalk by the time that David made it to the pavement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin gave both of them a smile, but David was too busy looking around. Robin supposed it was the furthest out of town David had been since he had gotten here two and a half weeks ago, that surprised Robin too; it felt like David had been here at least three months rather than not even three weeks, it had been three and half weeks since he had found out about David, since the crash, since he had been sure that David would be moved in with some distant relative of Mal and Ruth, he felt shame as he remembered that, how could he ever have thought about giving up his kid?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Robin reached out and gently squeezed David’s arm to get his attention before smiling at him and Margot again. He put on a fake serious look to make them both smile like they had been in the car and it worked. “Okay, no more singing that god awful song while we shop, </span>
  <em>
    <span>both of you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” His eyes lingered on David who still had that mischievous glint in them, he watched his son turn to his little sister and share a look, agreeing not to sing in the store, before David sent that charming smile his way, deliberately trying to make him think that they would continue to sing, or at least that’s what Robin thought it meant. He wouldn’t mind them singing all the way through the store if it meant David kept that smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin collected a bright orange cart and walked into the store with his kids at his side, as soon as they were out of the doorway and past the anti-theft detectors Robin crouched down taking Margot’s hands in his own and looking into her green eyes. “If you start getting tired let me know and you can have a ride in the cart, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m better daddy.” She told him with a slight whine and a small cough tagged the end of her statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re nearly better, you’ve still got to take it easy though, munch, okay?” He pushed a stray strand of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear, he watched her bite her lip then nod. He smiled automatically but with love. He pressed a kiss to her forehead making her smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood back up and looked to his son who had been leaning on his crutch and  watching them with an expression Robin couldn’t quite place. He leveled the teenager with a look. “That goes for you too.” He told him seriously, knowing if he didn’t press the issue David just wouldn’t listen to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David raised one eyebrow, trying to suppress the smile which was teasing on his lips, he forced an innocent naivety onto his face. “I get a ride in the cart too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin rolled his eyes but smiled. “We can take a break, smart arse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get a ride?.....” David injected a hurt and dejected tone into his voice and his face. “That’s not fair…. Favouritism.” He shook his head, continuing to look hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Robin a few seconds to realise that David was joking, the spark still in his eyes, and he was trying not to smile. Robin let out a breath of surprised laughter. It was unusual to see David in such high spirits, but it was not an unwelcome surprise. David had dropped the feigned hurt and was now outright smiling. He reached out to clap him on the back, but instead his hand cupped the back of his neck, he squeezed it gently, running his hand through the back of his ever so slightly curled hair. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“C’mon, pretty boy. If you’re both good I’ll buy you ice cream.” He placed his hand back onto the cart handle, his tone was joking but he wasn’t, he smiled as Margot cheered and when he looked at David he saw an identical smile on his face, his own smile got an injection of pride as they began to walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p><span>David walked on Robin’s right side as they walked through the store, it was like many of the big box stores David had spent time in when he was younger, while on the road with Ruth and James, or just James. The layout was clearly identical, David was fairly certain he could go through the place with his eyes closed. Robin led the way towards the fruit and vegetable aisles which David could probably count on one hand the amount of times he had gone to those aisles purposely. He and James had grown up on fast food, microwave meals, and candy, it was probably a miracle that he was </span><em><span>mostly</span></em><span> healthy. He watched as Robin pulled out a grocery list, and </span><em><span>actual</span></em> <em><span>one</span></em><span>, on paper not on his phone; it was even written on special list paper, it wasn’t the cutesy illustrated type David had seen in the windows of the art and stationary stores while they were in Austin; this one had one word ‘Grocery’ in white, when David squinted he realised that the reason the word seemed to be weirdly high on the list was because someone, presumably Robin, had filled in the word ‘Shit’ in a dark pen. He wasn’t sure whether it was in case Margot saw and repeated it, or to try and discourage David’s propensity for swearing. David smiled at it, he had gotten to know Regina enough over the past couple of weeks to be able to picture her buying it, possibly to make Robin laugh, as the two of them were always trying to do.</span></p><p>
  <span>Robin had told David, before they had even gotten in the car to drive to the store, to simply put anything he fancied into the cart, no matter the price or if anyone else didn't like them; he knew some things David liked but he didn’t know him well enough to be able to add things like he did for the rest of his kids. But as they moved through the aisle of vegetables and were halfway through the fruit aisle Robin realised that David wasn’t putting anything in. At first he assumed David simply didn’t like the vegetables, but when David didn’t even reach for the red apples which he had taken to snacking on, instead staying close to the cart, pulling faces at Margot, purposely ignoring all of the food around them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin paused as Margot grabbed a netted bag of small satsumas, David kept his hands in his pocket. “David, do you want to grab some red apples?” Without hesitation David grabbed them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Robin to realise that David would only put things he liked in the cart if Robin told him too, it made it a little difficult as he still didn’t know everything that David liked, he went for things he was pretty sure David would like, choosing things he had liked when he was a teenager, and things the rest of his kids liked, trying his best not to overindulge him with junk food, if there were things which weren’t eaten they could just donate it to the foodbank. He watched Margot as she led the way down the aisles, skipping and hopping as she played games with the tiny markings on the floor, he also kept a close eye on David, making sure to slow his own pace whenever David’s seemed to slow down, he would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that David was Margot’s size so he could just stick him in the cart instead of worrying about him tripping and doing more damage to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you grab a jar of strawberry jam?” He asked gesturing to the ones on the left shelf as he helped Margot grab two jars of peanut butter; one smooth and one crunchy, when he looked up to place them into the cart he noticed the curious and somewhat amused look on David’s face. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times clearly trying to figure out his words, Robin decided to pretend not to notice, letting David to lead with no pressure instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s Britain like? You said ‘jam’ not jelly and…” David gave a small shrug. “I forget that you’re not, like, from here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin sent him a small smile. “It’s…. Rainy.” He decided finally, his own smile widening as David gave a small laugh. “I’ve not been back in a long time, and when I started a family here with Regina and the kids, this place became my home, not london.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They moved down the aisle, Robin chucking some chips and crackers into the cart, he realised that David was quiet as he was actually waiting for a proper answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I liked it there, it was rainy and grey most of the time, but I had family there, we were close.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had siblings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Robin shook his head, giving David a small smile as he scanned the ingredients on the back of a can of spaghetti shapes, “I was an only child. I had cousins though, well they were technically the kids of my mother’s cousins, but we were all close. My family lived in a townhouse in the centre of London, but on weekends and holidays my mother and I would visit her parents house in the country, it’s a huge place, or at least it seemed huge when I was a kid, it was the best place for playing hide and seek.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David narrowed his eyes slowly as he took in Robin’s words. He tilted his head to the side and looked at Robin. “Are you guys rich?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a breath of awkward laughter. “We were…. pretty well off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David quirked an eyebrow. “Doesn’t that just mean rich?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out another sheepish laugh. “Yeah, it does. My mum’s side has been rich forever, my father’s father started a company, got rich, then tried to act like they always had been.” He shook his head, wiping a smile onto his face instead of dwelling on the Locksley part of his DNA. “When we weren’t visiting my grandparents my mum would take me to galleries and museums, to theatre shows, the cinema, live shows in Hyde Park in the summer, the Winter Wonderland markets in winter.” Robin smiled as he thought about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever go back and visit your grandparents?” David’s voice was quiet, wondering what it would be like to have extended family like Robin had, to have cousins and grandparents, and a history. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They died not long after we moved to the states, I was a little older than you, they left me some money, I used a lot of it to pay for college and stuff like that, I put a lot of it aside, same with the money I inherited from my mother, theoretically I have a trust fund my father set up but I’m never going to touch it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin smiled softly at David’s scrunched up confused face, he forgot that he didn’t know much, if anything, about Francis Locksley. “Because I learn, from a young age, that him, and people like him always expect something in return, their motives are never what they might seem right away. My mum made sure that I was always cautious with him, they divorced when I went off to university.” He shook his head and gave a sigh, dumping another couple of cans into the cart. Even all these years later he wondered why Grace had decided to stay with Francis, he knew that it was for his sake, everything his mother did was for his sake, but he certainly didn’t want them together, and his father had certainly never seemed to care about being part of their family. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His eyes flickering to his daughter who was just staring at the marmalades reading the labels. Knowing that she was okay he looked back at his son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you miss her?” David asked him softly, his eyes focusing on anything but Robin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin realised that he was frowning and quickly wiped it out, not wanting David to see and think that it was at his question, that he wasn’t free to ask all the questions he wanted. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. It hasn’t been long, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> long, anway, but I miss her. The longer it goes on the easier it gets, I know it sounds like a stereotype but it’s a stereotype for a reason. It’s been over six years since she passed; sometimes it feels as painful as though it happened yesterday, sometimes it feels like it’s been sixty years, or like it never happened.” He hesitated before asking his own question. “Do you miss Ruth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched David stiff before his shoulders dropped and he actually turned his back to pretend to look at the shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She lied to me for my whole life. I think… I think Jamie figured it out, about me, I mean… neither of them told me… and Ruth wasn’t like your mom, she was…” He trailed off shaking his head and picked up a bottle of barbecue sauce from the shelf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was still your mum, Sunshine, she loved you.” He reached over and squeezed David's shoulder until he looked at him, he was a little surprised to see himself defending Ruth, after all David had been through, but this was for David, not for Ruth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘S’not enough.” David mumbled, repeating the words he had used during the fight with Mallory at the funeral. He felt Robin’s hand move from his shoulder to the back of his head, stroking his hair until the soft skinned hand came to rest at the back of his neck, secure and reassuring, David felt safe, it was an unusual but not unwanted feeling. He braved a look at Robin, he must have understood the look in David’s eyes as he didn’t press him to talk more. Instead he gave him a tight smile before taking the bottle of sauce from his hands and placing it in the cart, he placed his hand on David’s back and called to Margot to continue on before leading him down the aisle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You remind me of her.” Robin told David casually a minute later, he felt David stiffen and come to an abrupt stop, he stopped himself from walking his head snapping to his son, he was about to open his mouth when he realised his mistake and quickly added an explanation. “My mum, I mean, you’ve mentioned that you liked drawing and stuff, she was the same; she had a masters degree in art history, and I practically grew up in museums and art galleries, she used to draw beautiful portraits, we probably have some back at home, I can try and find them if you want to have a look.” To his relief David relaxed again and even smiled and gave a nod.  “She tried to get me into art too, drawing, painting, all of that, I was the worst at it,” Robin laughed, “not like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David gave a small laugh and looked down to avoid the looks of pride Robin was aiming at him. “You don’t know that I’m any good.” He pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some of the ones you did when you were younger.” He pointed out, thinking back to the ones which were in the envelope Ruth had given to Mal which had eventually ended up in his hands. He was aware that David might be feeling a little uncomfortable, he sent him a smile. His eyes darted to Margot who was not so subtly sneaking a packet of bakery jelly donuts into the cart, he didn’t stop her, his eyes returned to David still smiling. “I hope you know that those are all going up on the fridge.” He told him only half joking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that something people </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>do?” David asked cocking an eyebrow as his mouth twitched up in a smile which was seconds away from a laugh until he saw the way Robin’s face fall and he got that sad look in his blue eyes, apparently it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a thing parents did, regular parents, not just something nuclear families did in sitcoms. “If I draw you something new do you promise not to stick the crap ones I did when I was a kid on the fridge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin stopped himself from pointing out that he still was a kid, instead he gave him a pointed look and tried his best to look serious rather than smiling, which was what he wanted to. “Add in you promising not to swear and we’ve got a deal.” He allowed himself to smile when David sent him a sheepish smile and his cheeks pinked a little. He was so different from that angry kid he had been the other day, Robin would do anything to have him be this happy all the time. “Deal.” Robin told him firmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s eyes widened and his smile dropped, his mouth opened instead, he hadn’t expected Robin to take him up on it, he was going to protest but instead he shut his mouth, shaking his head ever so slightly. He opened his mouth again but he didn’t protest their ‘deal’, instead he asked “Can we get some chocolate frosted donuts too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was Robin’s turn to look surprised, he hadn’t expected David to have even thought about asking, it was a relief. “Of course.” He told him a little too eagerly. He saw David asking him as a good compromise between his order to just add what he wanted to the cart, and David’s stubborn outright refusal to do so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They carried on talking, about nothing and everything, David telling him all about how only onions and peppers out of all other vegetables should be allowed on pizzas, and that the best pizzas were loaded with meat and had as much cheese as possible, Robin filed that away in the new ‘David’ shaped room in his brain. They talked about other things too, nothing big or important, basically small talk, only a little less awkward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin shut his eyes tight for a second, he knew that tone of voice, Margot was after something she didn’t usually get. He opened his eyes again, turning to put the box of Special K cereal into the cart before turning his attention to his daughter, who was hugging a box of Poptarts to her chest. It was one of the few things the kids were rarely allowed, both he and Regina were strong advocates of a good and filling breakfast, Poptarts were so far off the mark that they weren’t bought simply due to all of the kids only wanting to eat them at breakfast time. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Go.” He said through a sigh, but there was fondness in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin blinked, looked towards the owner of the voice, which was David, looking equally as hopeful as Margot was. It dawned on him that the pair were wearing identical puppy-dog eyes begging looks, though they didn’t seem to realise how much they were looking like siblings right then. He let out a heaving sigh. “They are just for snack times, not for breakfast, and make sure to pick a s’mores one for your brothers.” The two of them suddenly sent him beaming smiles and it seemed worth whatever hassle it might cause in the future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Margot placed a box of betty flavoured ones and David added the s’mores box then stood back, waiting for them to carry on walking. When they didn’t move David looked at Robin, the older man gave him a Look, waiting and expecting, it was then that David realised that Robin had cottoned onto his hesitancy to add in what he wanted, he sent him a quick sheepish smile before grabbing a pack of triple chocolate ones to the cart, Robin send him a smile back and David ran his hand through his hair still smiling sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the shop continued in a similar manner, David talked to Robin and Margot and waited for Robin to stare at him until he would add his own choice. They finished and paid up but instead of leaving the store Robin led the way to the small cafe adjoined to the supermarket, the place was empty other than a woman breastfeeding a baby and eating a toasted panini, and a man in work boots and clothes covered in dried paint, reading a newspaper, presumably on a break from work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin pushed the cart to a table before nodding his head towards the counter to tell his kids to follow him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David couldn’t help but laugh, in front of them was a case full of ice cream ready to be scooped, in at least ten flavours. He watched Robin lift Margot into his arms, the two of them smiling widely, and told her she could choose an ice cream and a drink. David felt a pang of jealousy, for the first time, not that he didn’t want Margot here with them, but that she got this, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, from a young age, that he hadn’t had this with his dad. Not that he would ever admit it out loud, or to himself, or god forbid to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Strawberry and white chocolate ice cream and strawberry milkshake, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was clear to David that Margot wasn’t reading those off the menu but from memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milkshake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl from the other side of the door had told him about milkshakes, how the best ones were from Granny’s diner, she was nice, she hadn’t judged him for being locked in a janitor's closet having a… well a full on breakdown. He tried to remember her name, M? Em? Ma-... No… all he could remember was the hallucination of James, everything else was a blur which if he looked too closely would probably trigger another panic attack, so instead he chose a glass of ice cold cola and finally decided on the cookies and cream ice cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noted that Robin chose mint chocolate chip, one of the flavour he was trying to decide between, he also noted that he was noticing and remembering more and more similarities between himself and Robin over the past day or so, he tried to force himself to not get attached, as soon as he knew that David was crazy he wouldn’t want anything to do with him, he needed to remember that.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this is so late up I've been sleeping constantly as I'm unwell thanks to wisdom teeth/ wisdom tooth infection, I'm getting antibiotics today so the next chapter should be up within a week as usual!</p><p>Also after 4months of not going outside at all (as I'm highly vulnerable and immunocompromised, I can finally go outside!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this took forever and was hard to get out soooooo..... <br/>inspired in part by the 'Noel' episode of the West Wing, not all representations of David's diagnosis are going to be perfect as I do not have it, but I have put a lot of research into it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David sat in the worn red leather armchair in Dr Archie Hopper's office cradling an ice cold glass bottle of the lemonade in his two hands but didn't drink. Outside the sun was shining and baking the earth in the early June heat, reminding David of some of the warmer states he had lived in, the psychologist's office had the ac on, but the heat of the room still caused droplets of condensation to roll down from the stem of the bottle to David's hands.</p><p>It was all David could do to stay sat and not pacing the room. David had been a bundle of nerves, the closer it got to the appointment the more his stomach twisted, he had already had two panic attacks that morning, once in the shower the other while he was still in bed. He had given Robin permission to tell Archie about the incident at school, and after, he knew that most parents wouldn't bother to ask permission but Robin made sure to every week before the weekly phone call between him and Archie, even if there was nothing to report; he knew that Archie knew everything Robin did which only made sitting there harder; still David swore to himself that he would be brave and would be honest about whatever the shrink wanted to ask.</p><p>In a way it was a sort of relief that he was here, he had been dreading this all week, now it was here it was terrible, but at least the feeling of dread had almost passed.</p><p>"Do you want to tell me about your first day at school?" Archie asked with a patient smile, they had been sitting quietly for a few minutes following their usual small talk.</p><p>"You already know," David said without heat, he continued to look down at the bottle, "I said he could tell you everything."</p><p>"He did," Dr Hopper nodded and spoke slowly, "but I would like to hear it from your side, your father was only there for part of it. He doesn't necessarily know everything, from your side, or understand everything.</p><p>David took a deep breath. He reminded himself to be brave. "I couldn't breathe. Everything was just so… It was just so much, too much, it was… everyone was loud and there was the buzzing lights, and the smells and everyone was, it felt like everyone was looking at me- I had to get out and…," he shook his head, "I ended up in the janitor's closet, I couldn't find the bathrooms, I don't remember… I called Robin. He came and got me."</p><p>"That's good, David, that's very good."</p><p>David let out a snort of laughter. "It's good that I couldn't even last two hours in a place that even a kindergartener could handle?" His voice grew in anger and volume as he spoke, angrier and louder than he had ever intended.</p><p>He closed his eyes tight trying to calm that fire inside of him. He licked his lips, the chemical lemon smell from the janitor's closet invaded his nostrils. The sight of the darkened closet and James was projected onto his closed eyelids. He snapped them open. He finally took a sip of the icey lemonade, he felt it roll down his throat, the stark contrast of it and the heat of the room and inside of him was enough to ground him.</p><p>He looked up at Dr Hopper. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"You don't have to apologise to me, David." Archie Hopper's voice was soft and low, he hadn't flinched at David's anger. He closed his notebook which had been open on his lap so he could focus on David entirely. "It's been almost four week since the crash. A whole month… that must be hard."</p><p>David could feel Dr Hopper's eyes carefully watching his every move, he knew that the shrink saw the small flinch when he brought up the topic. David was distinctly aware of crossing his arms over his chest, clenching his jaw, the way he tensed his whole body: he tried to unclench everything, to let his arms go loose, to pick up his lemonade bottle from the side table again, but he didn't make it far enough to reach for the bottle, instead his arms recrossed themselves and he had tensed up again. He knew that constantly undoing and doing them again was actually more obvious than having just left them the way they were in the first place.<br/>It took him a minute to realise that he hadn't actually answered him. He gave a small shrug. "I guess…? I'm fine, I- I'm healing, it's nothing compared to…" he left the sentence hanging.</p><p>"What happened to Ruth and James doesn't cancel out your pain, or negate anything you're still going through." Archie told him, his voice soft but the certainty in it was as hard as steel. "David I see the progress that you've made since you began seeing me. I see the progress you're trying to make. I also see how hard this is for you, how much you're struggling; I see that there's something you're not wanting to talk about. What is it David?"</p><p>David bit his lip until a sharp pain shot through his bottom lip. He shook his head.</p><p>"David you're not there: you're not in the school, not in the janitor's closet, you're also not on the road, or in that car: you're here; you're safe."</p><p>David took a deep, then let it out, slowly, the way Hopper had taught him, it was a little ragged as he let it out past his lips, but it was still working. He could do this. He needed to do this if he ever wanted a chance of getting better, if he ever wanted a normal life, which he so desperately desired.<br/>"When I was in there I couldn't breathe - I began to panic, I wasn't sure what to do and I just, I-," he could hear himself getting louder and louder and sounding more panicked but he wasn't sure if it was in his power to stop that, he forced himself to swallow a gulp of air. "He was there. James. He was there he- he wasn't real, he wasn't there, it was a - a hallucination or whatever, I know that I know, I know that it's crazy, that I'm…" He felt a tear roll down his hot cheek, he scrubbed it away hard with the heel of his palm, he didn't realise that he had started to cry until he heard his voice breaking as he spoke again. "I don't want to be, I'm trying not to be, but I saw him- I saw him!" He covered his eyes with his hands to hide his tears, he knew it wasn't even slightly effective in hiding the fact he was crying, but it was the option he went with.</p><p>A second? A minute? An indeterminate amount of time later, David felt a hand on his shoulder, he took his face from his hands to look toward its source out of habit, Dr Archie Hopper was crouching at his side, holding a tissue out to him. David took it and used it both to wipe his eyes and to hide his face from the shrink's all seeing eyes.</p><p>"David you're not 'crazy'. Not at all."</p><p>David let out a bitter laugh as another two tears rolled from either eye and fell onto his denim shorts. "I was talking to my dead brother. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me for 'crazy', doc."</p><p>"David, I'm pretty sure that I'm the expert here." He shot him a smile before growing serious once more. "You did have a hallucination, it was caused by the panic attack you were having." He seemed to quickly check David over with his eyes, making sure he wasn't about to start sobbing again, when he determined that he was okay he moved from crouching on the floor to the couch, so that he was closer to David than the seat he had just vacated. The box of tissues were still in his hands, he seemed to remember them and placed them on the round side table between them. "You're not 'crazy'," he made air quotes as he said the word, "you've gone through a lot, not just recently either, but during your entire life."</p><p>The doctor fell silent for a moment and David could see the gears turning behind his eyes, watching him, evaluating his ability to cope with whatever it was he was wanting, or needing, to say. David had a strong urge to walk out of the office and never come back.</p><p>"David do you know what PTSD is?"</p><p>David's scrunched up. He spoke slowly, not certain of his answer. "...Like soldiers get…?" David wiped his almost dry eyes with the tissue as he tried not to look as confused as he felt.</p><p>"Soldiers do get it, sometimes, in the past it was called shell shock named after the shell bombs and gas canisters fired at them during world war one." He shook his head at himself, trying not to get distracted by giving David a history lesson, despite finding the history illuminating himself. "We understand it a little more now: We know that PTSD is common in people of various backgrounds; people who have been involved in traumatic events such as school shootings, major terrorist attacks, or small- more isolated traumatic events such as a car crash, or through long term situations such as domestic abuse or childhood abuse or neglect, even witnessing these could cause it."</p><p>"I don't…" David shook his head putting on a 'we're all adults here' sort of tone. "I don't have that. I was just... - I know that a lot of people who go through that sort of thing might, but honestly I'm fine, I just had a bad week, not sleeping much or whatever - or- or- look, loads of people go through worse, Jamie and my mom had it worse..."</p><p>"David," Dr Hopper let out in a somewhat disappointed sounding sigh, or at least that was how it sounds to David who shrank down in his seat, "trauma is not a competition. It also isn't something which only a certain amount of people are allowed to go through."</p><p>Archie Hopper was quiet to allow his words to sink in, Pongo filled the silence by plodding over from his dog bed from by the air vent over to lie on David's sneakered feet.</p><p>"David, I've been looking out for this, keeping an eye out for it. From what I've seen, what you've told me you've experienced, I've seen the symptoms of it:," he ticked the symptoms off one by one with his hand, "the nightmares, the anxiety, sudden rage which you didn't used to experience, feeling on edge constantly, panic attacks, you avoid cars when you can - which is understandable of course, you also avoid bonding too much with your new family- particularly your father. I think that you fear losing him as you did your mother. I also know that your adoptive father- Robert, was abusive to you and your mother and brother, and… David did your mother, Ruth I mean, did she ever hit you?"</p><p>David had been absently petting Pongo but now he froze, his whole body stiffening. "...What?"</p><p>"There are things you have said, or avoided saying, in our previous sessions, which hints at your mother having hit you on several occasions- mostly while she was drinking, or under the influence of drugs."</p><p>"She wasn't…- I mean, she never meant to- I, she just-..."</p><p>"David I'm not here blaming your mother or you. You never deserved to be hurt, ever. I just needed to know. David… Did you experience some of these symptoms before the crash?: the nightmares, the panic attacks, the anger?"</p><p>David looked conflicted over what to say so instead, eventually, just nodded his head. He swallowed deeply, in his head he chanted 'be brave, be honest, be brave, be honest-'.<br/>"I guess. I didn't get mad much - I didn't blow up like I did on Robin the other day. He was looking through some of my stuff, I thought he was reading my letter from- a letter I have, and he shouldn't have been looking without, he didn't actually open or read the letter, and I could tell that but I - I just blew up, it was like fire, I couldn't stop it, I couldn't control it. I've never been that mad. I nearly punched him- I couldn't help it, I didn't… I swore that I would never do that, get mad and punch him- like Robert."</p><p>"But you didn't punch him David, you might have gotten mad, it was understandable, but you also managed to keep control before you did punch him, that's good David, very good." He said, emphasising his praise. "Do you know what the fight or flight response is?"</p><p>"Like… when you're… in danger?" David said slowly, he was fairly certain in his answer but wasn't quite certain what point Archie was trying to make, and he didn't like that uncertainty.</p><p>"Yes," Archie smiled. "It's in every animal, every human; our veins flood with adrenaline so that we can stay alive when we are in danger - a predator or a natural event, or some slightly less natural events. When you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder your brain can interpret safe things as danger, extreme danger, this causes the anxiety- the fight or flight response, but another part of your brain can sometimes see that it's actually a safe or every day situation, so you fight it. David you have CPTSD: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you've gone through traumatic circumstances from a young age; from abuse and neglect, living in dangerous and nomadic situations, you've been going through trauma for years before the crash. From what you told me I believe you would have been diagnosed with CPTSD when you were young, had you seen someone." He didn't say that in a way the crash was a good thing, but it still hung in the air.</p><p>David rested his elbows on his knees, he was leant forward, staring at the rug and coffee table in front of him, hearing his heart beating in his ears, despite the heat he felt cold. He was silent for a while before finally talking. "Can't I have something else? I don't… something less? Not less I know you said it's not a competition, I was listening, I just - I'll work hard, I'll talk to you, I'll tell you my fuckin' dreams, whatever you want, I just… Please doc, I can't have this - I can't…"</p><p>"Why can't you have this, David?" Archie's voice was calm and soothing, particularly compared to David's ever increasing panicked voice.</p><p>"Because!" David shouted, when it was clear that wouldn't be an accepted answer he ran his hand through his hair and sighed, trying to find the words, when they came out they were quiet and broken. "Because I'm part of their family now. I've been trying, like actually trying, I mean, I lost it a couple of times, but I've been trying harder, I'm trying to fit in, if I can fit in I might… I could stay with them." His voice was barely a whisper when he reached the end of his sentence.</p><p>"Do you think that they wouldn't let you stay if they knew about your medical condition?"</p><p>David shrank back in his chair: his answer was clear- he was at least very, very uncertain.</p><p>"David, I can never one hundred percent guarantee anything, that's part of this job," Archie maintained constant eye contact and he was so serious that for once there was not even a hint of a smile. "But I can tell you that when I talk to your father every week before you come here he's constantly asking what he can do to help you, to make you feel more comfortable, more at home. He's constantly worried about pushing you too far. He wants to help you, no matter what, I have a strong suspicion that the reaction he has to this will be wanting to help you. I would like your permission to tell him, I won't if him knowing puts you in any harm, but I don't think it does, David. And he really needs to know, for your sake."</p><p>The psychologist fell silent and it took a moment for David to realise that he was waiting for an answer. He swallowed. Then nodded. "I can't.. Can you tell him without me in here, please? I just…" He trailed off but received a gentle smile which he had to remind himself was kindness not pity.</p><p>"Of course, David. I would, however, like to talk about your treatment to the both of you afterwards, if that's agreeable?"</p><p>David nodded again.</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p>A minute or so later Archie led him out of the office and into the waiting room. He kept his eyes trained low as he limped into the waiting room less than a foot behind Archie, but he could still see Robin eying him carefully, he had possibly heard him shouting a couple of times, David walked towards him but sat two chairs away, Margot was on her kid's tablet between them, watching something while wearing cat headphones, when she leant against him he sent her the biggest smile he could manage but knew it didn't come out as anything more than a grimace. He kept his eyes on the floor as the Doc asked Robin to talk to him a moment again, even when he felt Robin's eyes on him and his hand reach over to squeeze his shoulder as he stood to follow Archie back into his room.</p><p> </p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>David sat with his sister leaning against his side as he listened to the clock tick by what felt like five hours, but logically he knew that it couldn't have been, even if that was only because Margot wouldn't have stayed watching Moana for so long.</p><p>"David?"</p><p>David head shot up automatically. His eyes flickered from Archie to the space next to him, Robin was not at his side. David's stomach turned. He reminded himself to breathe: breathe in for a count of four, hold for seven, out for eight.</p><p>"Do you and your sister want to come inside so we can talk?"</p><p>David didn't trust himself to speak so just stood and led Margot into the room, part of him wondered if Robin had discovered a secret exit door out of the psychologist's office, but surely he would have taken Margot with him.</p><p>Robin was stood in front of the armchair David usually sat in, he had clearly been sat in it too.</p><p>Before David knew it he had been brought into a tight hug, it took him a second to realise who it was who was hugging him, when he realised it was Robin, one hand cupping the back of his head, the other holding him close, David allowed himself to bury his face against Robin's shoulder. He smelt familiar, now that David was beginning to feel at home with him, with his new family.</p><p>The hug was a good sign, the fact it went on for so long was an even better one, still there was that nagging sense of doubt….</p><p>"It's going to be okay, sunshine, we're going to figure this out, how to help you best, I promise you."</p><p>When they finally sat down they sat together on the small leather couch, Margot on the floor stroking Pongo, Robin's hand stayed on David's back; a sort of hug, severing as a reminder that he was still there, that David's own fear of this, this title, was just that, a fear not a reality, or at least not that he was showing yet.</p><p>He stayed sitting there watching Margot and Pongo as Archie spoke, saying something about well, he wasn't really listening, but he presumed it was about this, there was little else it could be about, and it was too much for him right now.</p><p>"Sunshine?"</p><p>David's head snapped up to see his dad's smile and look, Robin could clearly see he wasn't listening, but when he nodded towards Archie he realised that his name had clearly been said in the form of a question. He started to listen a little more, not much but enough to be able to nod or shake his head at things.</p><p>Twenty minutes later David was exhausted, he had managed to talk a little, Robin and Archie kept insisting that he would get better, that he would be okay, it was nice, but it was a Lot. He agreed with Archie's suggestions on medicine, daily and ones he could take in emergencies, he was fine with that if it meant he might not have to go through the panic attacks he barely felt as though he had made it through. The shrink also told him and Robin all about the type of therapy which he would be using, or having used on him as it often felt like, he was mostly just trying to stay present and make it through this session, which he hoped would end sooner rather than later.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p> </p><p>About twenty minutes later, completely with booklets and prescriptions, both of which Robin insisted on carrying, Archie showed the three Locksley-Mills' out of the room, David had his sister clinging to his hand, and his father's arm around his shoulder. He gently shook them off when they reached the door to head back onto the street, he didn't need to look at Robin to know he was looking at him with worry, instead he took a step back towards Doctor Hopper.</p><p>"Am I going to have this forever; I mean, am I going to have a panic attack every time I'm in a packed room, for the rest of my life?"</p><p>Archie sent him a small smile. "No, David, you won't."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because," Archie told him simply, "we get better."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Regina threw her keys into the bowl, placed her briefcase down on the table beside it, she’d move it later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey?” She called but apparently no one was around, or at least no one could hear her, she could smell something cooking though, steak, so she followed the smell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she reached the kitchen she was met by the sight of her husband, he was in a crisp white shirt he hadn’t been wearing that morning, they were tucked into perfectly snug jeans, the only thing which weren’t business-casual were his union-jack flag socks, that actually made her smile widen, they had been a gag gift from her the past Christmas. His head lifted to smile up at her, that smile of his which even after ten or so years of marriage made her weak at the knees, just as it had been doing since that first time she had seen him when she was in high school, before she had dated Daniel, and he had dated… well a lot of different girls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel herself blushing a little when she saw that he’s smile was turning cocky, he had clearly noticed, she spoke so that he couldn’t say something to ruin the whole appeal. “What’s the special occasion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s smile turned from being cocky to being sincere. “We've not been able to have a date night for a few weeks, and that doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon, so I thought we could have a date night in; I even got one of those cheesy Nora Efron movies you love so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know that you love those too.” She sent him a knowing smile, which he shared with her. She had to admit it sounded very good to her, she toed off her heels, and shrugged out of her blazer, dropping it on a bench near the fridge. She opened it, pulled out a couple of bottles of beer, then walked over to Robin, she passed him a bottle, as she untucked her blouse from her skirt she took a long sip of the beer. “Where are the kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin smiled at the way she shrank several inches without her heels, and the untucked blouse, like she was taking off the fierce mask she wore for the outside world. “Henry was invited to a last minute ‘end of the school year’ sleepover at Tucker’s, so Tucker’s little brother invited Roland as well.” He uncapped his bottle of beer but didn’t drink. “David and Go-Go are upstairs, I think Go is introducing David to as many animated movies as possible, David took his medicine so I’m sure that they’ll both be asleep within an hour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is he?” She locked eyes with her husband and they dropped down to the pan. Robin had phoned to tell her everything, about the psychologist appointment, she had started packing her briefcase with her cell pressed to her ear, and had only paused to argue with him about her needing to come home, she only gave into his insistence to stay at work because she wasn’t sure that the three late meetings she had would be near impossible to rearrange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s…” He shrugged, took a long sip of the beer as he tried to think. “He’s quiet, but he seems okay, he seems calmer. I think he decided to have a movie night with just Margot as in his words my ‘dad-ness’ was ‘bugging’ him.” He let out a small chuckle but couldn’t hide the pride from his face at the implied ‘dad’ in David’s words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina let out a laugh. “He’s a smart kid.” She leant on the counter as she watched him cooking, she didn’t exactly blame David, Robin had a habit of being what his mother had once referred to as a mother hen, she had bore the brunt of that whenever she was sick, she’d be lying if she said that he hadn’t been a little more this Robin since David had come to live with them, but he had been the same with each of their adopted children. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched him for a minute, the rolled up crisp white shirts which hugged his forceps as he spooned the garlic herb butter mixture onto the steaks, the tiny frown of concentration between his eyebrows, and the sparkle in the blue eyes which was starting to outweigh the worry on his face. “So…” she said slowly, he looked up hearing her tone, she could practically feel his eyes roam to her lips, lower even. “We basically have the place to ourselves…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a devilish hint to Robin’s smile, without a millisecond of hesitation he placed the pan back on the stove top, he moved over enough not to burn himself, and pulled her into him. “We do.” His mouth said against hers before they stopped speaking altogether, tongues and moans were all that slipped from them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until a loud sizzle and a smell of smoke forced the two of them to pull away from each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, fuck.” Robin quickly pulled the pan off the hop and tried to mend any damage caused by his neglect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How very eloquent, Mr Locksley- Mills.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In my defence, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mrs Locksley- Mills</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I was distracted by </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone…</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s been a long time since we’ve had any time with just us two.” He tried to sound irritated but the smile was still on his face, he continued to smile as he shook his head, twice. “I should have just heated up some dino nuggets for us instead.” He continued to grumble even as he plated up the food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin poured two glasses of chilled wine as he waited for the steaks to rest, he carried them over to the table, which he had set up with everything he could; there were at least eight candles, it was perhaps a little much but it had been a long time since they had a date night.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spent their dinner how they usually did on their date nights- they tried to discuss their kids as much as possible, this rule lasted all of ten minutes before they started to talk about all of their kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leant back in their chairs once they had finished, but their hands were resting on the table, holding onto each other. “I’m sorry I couldn’t take you on a real date, babe” He squeezed her hand as he took a sip of wine. “And that we now have an extra kid with us and less time to ourselves, I’m sorry, I know that we were just getting more time, the other kids were getting older-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” She interrupted him with a stern look, “the only reason you would need to apologise about David is if you hadn’t taken him in. He’s a sweet kid, he just needs a little time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin smiled, letting his head drop to try and hide the shame when he remembered that he had thought, no not just thought, but discussed finding someone else who David could live with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were in shock. We both know that there was no way that you would ever send him away, especially not after you met him.” When he looked up at her she sent him a smile. “The kids are all adjusting to having an older brother, how’s David adjusting to having the diagnosis, Complex PTSD?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good segue.” Robin smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina rolled her eyes good naturedly, she could see the knowing sparkle in his eyes. She rolled her eyes again. “I may have been doing research in work on my breaks. It could explain why he was so mad at you for a couple of days, and how him snapping at you several times and looking like a kicked puppy when he realised that he had.” She brushed her thumb over his knuckles, she had seen how it had haunted him even if it only lasted a single day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That could simply be because I was in the wrong,” he countered mildly, “I shouldn’t have been snooping, I would have hated it when I was a teenager, the same Henry is becoming, well more of a teenager, I guess I forgot. The smaller snaps could have been, I guess. I guess now we’re going to be more on the lookout, and the doc will be able to help.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>They talked about the kids report cards - Henry’s was near enough perfect he had improved in math but it still needed a little work, Roland was a delight to teach - he was still a class clown but had reigned it in enough that he was no longer interrupting the class.  Margot was settling in well, making friends with everyone, especially anyone who seemed like they might be lonely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We did good.” Regina smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So far, we’ve still got some time left to screw them up.” Robin laughed. He moved closer to his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David’s going to be okay too.” Regina wasn’t sure whether she was reassuring him or herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just,” Robin sighed, “I’m just worried about how he’ll feel if he ends up being held back, which is likely.” Robin shook his head and gave a small laugh. “We shouldn’t be worrying about this anymore, we should be worrying about how to keep the kids occupied for a whole ten weeks without going mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then,Regina leant in kissing him, pulling back smiling as he moved closer clearly wanting more, “let’s enjoy having an only half full house tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin pulled Regina closer, deepening the kiss, his hands moving from her cheeks down to rest on her ribs. “I have dessert, but it can wait.” He mumbled, mostly to himself, as he tried to deepen the kiss only to have Regina hold him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“”What is it?” She asked, her face so close that her lips brushed against his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin grimaced already knowing how this would play out. “... Just a homemade  dark chocolate mousse and some chocolate strawberries….” She pulled away from him with </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> smile on her face. He knew it was his own fault for making her favourite. “So you’re choosing chocolate mousse over me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really need to ask that question?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but smile, she was still the same person he had known when they were in high school, teasing and all. “No, no. I’m well aware you’re only with me because I’m the only person you know who has good taste in chocolate: not that American shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad that you’re aware of this.” She teased, a smile playing on her lips as she tried not to laugh at his face offence.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After their dessert the two of them moved to the couch in the main living room, they curled up together, legs hooked together, arms holding each other tight, every so often exploring, but mostly they just embraced their rare opportunity to watch a movie which wasn’t animated or superheroes running around in spandex, or some sci fi movie Henry loved to watch; and though Robin claimed not to be a romcom fan Regina could tell he was getting a little misty eyed by the end.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the movie was over it was getting kind of late, they wanted to continue what they had started before dinner, and during the movie (though they had raised kids long enough to have allowed it to progress too far, it was sods law that they would have gotten walked in on, and neither wanted to scar David and Margot).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina led the way up the stairs, when they reached the hallway Regina headed for Margot’s bedroom door across from the staircase, and Robin headed down the hallway which turned right, David’s door was the first door on the right, after one of the two family bathrooms on that floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was alone in his bed, he was asleep, the covers had nearly completely fallen off the bed, only the top right corner was resting across half of his chest, the tv on top of the desk opposite the desk was playing music which Robin was fairly certain came from a star wars movie, in was unsurprising that he got along so well with Henry. He found the tv remote on the pillow beside his head, he picked it up, clicking the television off and placing the remote on the bedside table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard and saw David stir, he froze perfectly still hoping he'd stay asleep- but his blue eyes shot open filling with the panic Robin was getting used to seeing when his son awoke, though now, thanks to today's therapy session, there was an explanation, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>reason</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a name. “It’s okay, sunshine, you’re at home, you’re in bed. I was just turning your television off, you’re home, you’re safe.” He assured, keeping his voice level and calm. “Go back to sleep, Sunshine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did it go okay?” David asked, his voice was nothing more than a mumble, exhaustion from the hour and the long day soaked into both his voice and the way that he was having to fight to try and stay awake. “Th’date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin couldn’t help but smile, he reached down to pick the bedsheets off of the floor he lifted them up, allowing some air to gather beneath them, before letting them fall over David again, he resisted the temptation to actually tuck him in. “It went well. Thank you for taking your sister off of our hands for the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘S’okay.” David said through a yawn. “Jamie used to do the same thing with me when mom had dates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin tried his best not to frown. “Dates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Work.” David mumbled, allowing his eyes to slip shut, he yawned again, he gave up fighting to even pretend to be awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin had to fight even harder to stop the frown from forming on his face. “It’s not the same thing, David, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>watched a movie. You know that, right? We didn’t... it wasn’t like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David hummed in response, he curled up beneath his bed covers and fell back asleep without a further noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin would be lying if he said that he wasn’t relieved he didn’t have to give his, newly acquired, fifteen year old ‘The Talk’. Still, he let out a gentle sigh, not sure if David had believed Robin’s words or not. Robin gently moved David’s head so it was lying on a pillow again, and rearranged the covers, this time David did not stir, he ran his hand through David’s hair, it was so different than it had been when he had first arrived at their house, but now that it was short he could see the curls forming despite David’s careful styling.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Get some sleep, Sunshine.” He hesitated for a half second before dropping a kiss on his forehead. David was already fast asleep. Robin smiled, he enjoyed his son’s wit, his sass, even his snarky remarks at Robin while he was awake, but David allowing himself to fall asleep in front of Robin; to allow him to see him vulnerable, tired, </span>
  <em>
    <span>young and unguarded</span>
  </em>
  <span> was even more touching, it felt like an important point in their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to leave and found Regina standing in David’s doorway staring at them, as he walked to join her he noticed that she had been smiling at the sight of him and David. He hooked his left arm around her waist. “How’s Go-Go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fast asleep but still smiling, he tucked her in and everything, how’s he doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s eye drifted towards David automatically. “He seems okay, he was basically asleep.” He looked back at his wife and felt an overwhelming appreciation and love for her stir inside of him, she wasn’t looking at him but at his son, who she had accepted as her family as soon as she had heard about him. “I want to kiss you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to do that here, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> that, I just meant a normal kiss, but…. I don’t want him to wake up and…” He trailed off and was relieved when she didn’t ask him to explain, they both knew he would later, he felt his hand being taken, and squeezed in an unmistakable sign of understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.” She said, even though she hadn’t needed to audibly confirm this. “Let’s leave him to sleep in peace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin nodded, he kept hold of her hand as he led the way out, he heard Regina whisper a goodnight to the teenager before closing the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin ducked into Margot’s room to press a kiss onto her forehead and say goodnight, as he always did, when he reached his bedroom he finally kissed Regina again, they paused only long enough for Regina to thank him for the surprise date, that it was probably the best one they had all year. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time I’m not dressing up so much, I’m seriously getting too old for not being in sweatpants past eight pm.” He undid his shirt and peeled it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll order Chinese.” Regina laughed in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin couldn’t help but watch Regina unbuttoning her blouse. Her skin was a few shades darker than usual thanks to the easy tanned which formed from May ‘til December, the contrasts of it against the deep red blouse…. The matching bra she was wearing beneath it was almost unbearable….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina noticed him watching her and smiled slowly. “Voyeur.” She teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin laughed but also didn’t disagree. Instead he finished taking off his shirt, threw it across the room into the laundry basket, he unbuckled his belt, he happened to look up as he was shoving them down, and caught his wife watching, biting her lip. “Like you’re any better, Mills.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina rolled her eyes but she was smiling widely. “Oh just get over here, Locksley.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Ma’am.” Without hesitation he closed the gap, his lips crashing into hers, her hands on his skin, his on hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two tumbled into bed, thankful for the empty and sleeping house.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>long time no update  no worries to the like 4 people who still read this i still love this verse </p><p>I hope yall are doing good &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>David was hungry, he was surprised at how quickly he had gotten used to being able to eat at regular intervals, more than just a handful of fries from plates left by other people at fast food joints he and his brother, </span>
  <em>
    <span>James</span>
  </em>
  <span>, had hung around at, mostly because the hotels they stayed in were sometimes a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> sketchy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he was hungry for another reason, and he blamed it all on his father, “Robin, how much longer ‘til it gets here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin chuckled at his oldest son’s whining, though he doubted that the fifteen year old knew that he was whining as though he was Margot’s age, but he didn’t turn around to look at David sat at the counter “Why? Are you starving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Basically skin and bones, seriously, even </span>
  <em>
    <span>salad </span>
  </em>
  <span>is starting to look good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another whine but this time Robin couldn’t help but laugh, he turned around, having triple checked that he had grabbed the right meds and amounts; he handed them over to his son along with a glass of orange juice. “You know,” he watched David slowly take the tablets one by one, “eating salad wouldn’t kill you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know that. Robin?” this time he dragged his name out even longer, with more of a whine, which he was intentionally using this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin rolled his eyes and fished his cell out of his pocket, he pressed the screen a few times before holding it out, “forty minutes, it’s Sunday, they have a lot of orders on Sundays, if you need a snack you can have one, there’s fruit, there’s salad,-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David swallowed the last of his tablets with a large gulp of juice, and shot his best hurt look, “I’ll wait for the pizza.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin shook his head fondly, they had told David about their traditional Sunday family nights, which they hadn’t had time or headspace to do since David had arrived, he had been counting down for the takeout pizza ever since, he had been trying to encourage Robin to order it from three that afternoon, hours before their dinner time… he’d be lying if he claimed it wasn’t kind of adorable to see David so excited about something… even if that something was pizza. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin leant on the island so that he was eye to eye with David, sat on a stool on the other side, Robin leant on his forearms, a line between his eyebrows formed as he chewed on his lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David stilled, he could see thoughts forming in Robin’s head, none of them he said out loud, David couldn’t see it but concern was forming on his own face, “What’d I do?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He tried to scan his mind, yesterday was Saturday, he and henry had spent most of the day playing The Avengers game on the playstation, and letting Margot read to him, he’d watched Roland doing keepy-ups with the soccer ball until Regina had told the younger boy to take it outside; that was the only reason he could think of that he’d be in trouble for, maybe he should have discouraged Roland himself-.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Nothing, nothing Sunshine, I just… The other night, after Regina and I had our date you mentioned Ruth’s ‘dates’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. David thought, his cheeks and the tops of his ears , damn his sleepy mind for talking about that, and for calling them dates, he obviously knew now that’s not what they were, but that’s what he had been told for so long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s not what it was like for me and Gina, right? We weren’t… you looking after your sister, it wasn’t like when James had to babysit you, it’s not,” Robin wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, but it had been weighing on his mind the past day, he needed to make sure that David didn’t think that they were like that in their family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” David said quickly, if only to shut him up, it was bad enough teachers and strangers or his brother talking about this… but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, no, it was gross… he was struck again with the realisation that he was acknowledging their shared DNA. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I didn’t, look I was half asleep, I didn’t mean; I know you’re not like her, I promise, I know that yours was an actual date not like what she did,” he made sure to keep eye contact with Robin until he saw the relief fill his father’s blue eyes, “Now please can we not talk about this? The whole ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>talk’</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robin? I’m already having enough therapy; I don’t want to be going for life.” This time his whine and begging was playful and when he made his father laugh David’s chest swelled with pride for some reason beyond his understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin held up his hands in a kind of surrender, he turned to put the medicine back into its cupboard, then turned back around, he was kind of touched to see David still sat there, even if part of him knew that David, like himself, was avoiding going back to the den and the rest of their family, who had been playing monopoly, apparently David took after Robin in his incapacity in the skill of playing monopoly/ managing to stay interested in it for long enough not to deliberately sabotage himself and lose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling David?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David raised a brow, he had gotten weirdly used to Robin calling him ‘Sunshine’, David seemed to be largely saved for when he had something on his mind, he was concerned, the conversation was serious, or David was in trouble. “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m seriously going to ban that word from this house,” Robin shot his son a smile, “I know I’m bugging you, but I’m just… I just want you to feel okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David gave a gentle sigh but he could tell that Robin was trying, “I know… Doc said it’ll take a few weeks for the tablets to kick in… Hey, Robin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah sunshine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys do these like ‘family’,” he said in air quotes, “day things every Sunday?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, me and Gina used to spend our Sundays like this, the whole playing board games, movies, pizza, the whole shebang, when we adopted Henry we changed them to games which would interest a three year old, the tradition continues to today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you ask?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No reason,” David said quickly, before giving a somewhat sheepish smile and shrugging, trying to downplay his true feelings already, “I just like it, it’s fun, y’know, I never really got to do this sorta thing, I like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s smile turned surprised, even Henry was getting to be an age where hanging out with his parents and family was downright embarrassing, by all accounts David should be firmer into that phase, but he hadn’t had this before, he could understand why David could see how special this time truly was; as it always had been to Regina and Robin, “Yeah,” Robin’s voice was as soft as his smile had turned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina walked into the kitchen and immediately ruffled David’s hair, before filling a glass with water from the dispenser on the fridge, she walked over to Robin’s side and pressed a kiss to her husband’s cheek, “Is your father annoying you, sweetie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always,” David’s voice was dry but a cheeky smile was on his face, the smile grew when Robin and Regina smiled back at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I was voted the best professor at the school, right? I am not annoying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Voted by…?” David teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“People who choose to study law… believe me, they shouldn’t be allowed to vote on that.” Regina answered, making David laugh and Robin playfully roll his eyes. “Is the food nearly ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna take like three hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s about forty minutes, tops,” Robin ignored his son’s whine of an answer, “Spiderman over there is just being dramatic,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>starving</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The salad offer is still on the table.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David didn’t dignify Robin’s response with an answer, he did, however, give him a small glare, before turning his attention on Regina, “Who won the monopoly game?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roland.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin squinted suspiciously, “How’d he manage to do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure he managed to steal from the bank.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David let out a snort of laughter, maybe he’d try that next time, especially as both Robin and Regina seemed to be rather proud at their son finding a way to not just cheat, but also not get caught, he was pretty sure they would react similarly if not the same to him doing so. “Did he pick a movie?” David asked, trying to file away the details of this day, even if he hated that he was doing it, he just liked the day and didn’t want to mess it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He did, take a guess which movie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David smiled, “Into the Spiderverse?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Correct,” Regina smiled, she could see the fondness in David’s face for his younger brother, for all of his siblings, and they adored him back, sometimes she even had to strongly encourage them to let Robin and David have some time together. “The kids have gone to change into their pyjamas, you can stay in your sweats if you like, we’ll start the movie when everybody’s ready.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David looked down at himself, he was in a pair of sweatpants, and a sweatshirt, his usual outfit if they were staying at home… When had he started thinking about this as </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> home? He shook himself mentally, “Imma go get changed, Go will probably complain if I don’t,” not exactly a lie, but Margot wouldn’t complain </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> much. He pushed himself to his feet, giving his father and step mother a smile, he began to limp out of the wall pausing when he was in the doorway, “If the pizza gets here early-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll shout you,” Robin assured him, still smiling fondly at him, even if every atom in his body was wanting to rush forward and to help his son, to not have to simply watch him limping his way across the room, even if he had taken pain killers minutes before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s okay,” Regina reassured her husband once they could hear David going up the stairs, Roland shouting to his oldest brother that he had won, even if both Regina and Robin knew that Regina had been watching the kid just as close as Robin had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s stubborn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder where he gets that from…” She teased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin knew it was partially from him, but David wasn’t only his, and Mallory had always been headstrong, David had been hit double. “Funny,” he glared with a smile on his lips, he dipped his head and drew his wife into a kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the pair eventually pulled out of their kiss Regina still had a teasing smile on her face, “So, did you almost give him the talk again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin screwed up his face as he cringed, “How did you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina let out a burst of laughter, “I didn’t, but I could guess. I think he’s really starting to settle in here, y’know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin smiled, “I thought the same thing, I don’t want to jinx it, but he really is.” He shifted a little, “he said he thinks these family days we do are cool.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you think he’ll teach Henry to think so again? Maybe he can teach him that we’re cool again while he’s at it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe, I don’t know how to tell you this… David doesn’t think you’re cool either.” She began to laugh but she was swooped into another kiss as Robin tickled her sides in retribution.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>David had decided that his favourite room in his new home was the den, it was cozier than the rest of the house, most of the room was taken up with a big deep couch which was officially the most comfortable thing David had ever sat on, across from it was a big entertainment centre, with various gaming systems and a huge television, there were other things in the room too, toys and a little table too small for both him and Henry; what he liked most were times like this; the times where he’d be playing video games with his brothers, or Margot had made him watch cartoons with her, most of all he liked this: sat on the couch, Margot was squeezed so close to him that she was practically sat on his lap, and on his other side was his father, Robin’s arm draped across the back of the couch behind his head: All of this together made this room the best room in the house, in David’s opinion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the coffee table were the almost empty boxes of pizza and all of the sides: the chicken wings, the garlic bread, the mozzarella sticks were completely gone, there were also plastic cups all full to various levels with sodas, it had been as good as he was hoping, the whole day had, so out of anything he had ever experienced, in short it was perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had a fleeting thought of his brother, he was relieved it was just a though not another hallucination, not that he had experienced any since the day in the supply closet; he knew that James would have claimed that the entire day was lame, that he hated it, but David knew his brother, or cousin he corrected in his mind, James would have loved this normal family day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we watch another one?” Roland was begging while grinning ear to ear, Henry joined him looking hopeful at their parents, as did Margot who looked like she wasn’t far away from falling asleep, before David knew it his face had turned similar to the faces being pulled by his siblings, as he looked at Robin and Regina. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin shared a look with his wife, both of them smiling, already knowing that despite having already watched two movies their children would plead for a third, and it wasn’t like it was a school night,and the two of them were having just as much fun as their children. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Robin told them slowly as though there had been anything for himself and Regina to even think about, “but me and mum are choosing: and it’s gonna be Space Jam.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the kids looked confused, both Regina and Robin looked betrayed, or like they had failed as parents, which is how they felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With the looney tunes? And Michael Jordan?” Regina asked them frantically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like the sneakers?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David couldn’t help but laugh at the faces both Regina and Robin were pulling, a second later all six of them were laughing without being able to explain exactly why. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m cool with watching that,” David announced, feeling in fact a little better that the others also didn’t know it, he had only heard of most of the movies they watched, this put them on more even footing, “Imma go pee first though.” He gently nudged his sister so that he could get to his feet, swaying a little before righting his own balance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin yawned and stretched himself out like a cat before getting to his own feet, “‘kay, I’ll take the boxes to the kitchen,” he announced collecting the empty boxes, “Oi, Sunshine,” he called to his oldest who had now limped to the door out of the room, “kitchen after, you need your night meds,” he heard a ‘kay’ response through a yawn and continued to sort the boxes, laughing as Roland took another piece of by now half cold pizza, knowing what his own mother would have had to say about a healthy appetite. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After washing his hands David filled his cupped hands with cool water under the tap before splashing it onto his face; once, twice, three times, finally clearing out any sleep from his eyes, he was intent on staying awake for as long as possible, even if he would be taking his medicine soon and would no doubt be passed out on the couch in the den beside his family within an hour, but he just wanted to be awake for as long as possible, he didn’t want this day to be over, even if he knew it was futile trying to put it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dried his face off on the guest hand towel, as he patted it he took in his reflection in the mirror above the sink; he was still pale thanks to barely leaving the house, he was still too pale, his cheekbones were still sticking out a little too much, but there was a marked improvement from how he had looked when he lived with Ruth and James, his hair was short and any bruises or cuts still left from the crash or from before the crash had faded completely, leaving only a couple of tiny scars David was pretty sure only he could see, there were still bags under his eyes from the nightmares wish awoke him every night, but the purple of them wasn’t so bad, he was pretty sure that it was because every time he awoke screaming Robin or Regina would be there, reassuring him that he was there, that he was home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> David looked better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He headed out of the bathroom, he remembered hearing kids at various schools complaining about helicopter parents, David knew without doubt that Robin was either already or well on his way to becoming one of those, he knew that Robin would probably knock on the door if</span>
</p><p>
  <span> he was in the bathroom for much longer, he knew all the other kids had complained about their parents being like this, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but David had experienced the opposite, he found this reassuring compared to Ruth’s hectic push and pull. That being said he would simply meet him in the kitchen as he had promised to, rather than making him come search and worry about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>David had just left the bathroom when he heard the knock on the door, he froze. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In his head he could hear Ruth’s voice in his head, forcing them to hide under the beds for hours on end at the sound of the knock on a door more than once, he had always assumed it was in fear of Robert finding them, a fear he had inherited too, but now he wondered if she had been more worried that it was social workers who had been called by whatever school they were at or by people in the town who had caught James and David dumpster diving, or if she had simply been unable to pay the motel bill and wanted the manager to believe they weren’t there so they could make a quick getaway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David waited a moment, waiting for Robin to emerge from the door across the hallway from him in the kitchen, or for Regina to emerge from down the little corridor which led to the ‘formal dining room’ and the den. But neither of them appeared to have heard the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Knock, knock, knock. </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Still nobody appeared to answer the door, David appeared to be the only one to have heard it, he wondered why they weren’t pressing the doorbell, David forced himself to take a step closer to the front door, he knew he was the closest, that it wasn’t loud enough for either Robin or Regina or even Henry to hear, he was being stupid, he should just open it himself, it was probably nothing; and yet he had to force himself to take more steps, feeling for the first time (in an admittedly short amount of time) like an intruder in the home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like Robert would be standing on the other side of the door, he didn’t know what he was scared of, he had nothing to be scared of, not here in Storybrooke, and not on a day like this. All he had to do was to open the door, tell the person they had the wrong home, then take his meds and watch Robin and Regina’s old ass movie with them and his siblings. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin had gotten distracted in the small pantry which was a whole extra small room attached to the kitchen, he had been waiting for David to come into the kitchen and had gotten distracted by the in progress grocery list on the pin board, and had gone into the pantry to add things they were missing, adding some unused cans to their monthly food donation box, also in progress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had lost track of time, in fact when he had finally realised how long he had been distracted for he expected to find David whining and complaining about having to hang around for so long, but he walked back into a kitchen which was as empty as he had left it. He shut his eyes, sucked in a breath slowly, then dropped his chin to his chest, letting out the breath as his head dropped. He tried to remember that David simply got distracted easily, that his not coming into the kitchen for his night time medication was probably more of an ADHD thing than a ‘David trying to purposely avoid doing what he needs to and will pick a fight as soon as Robin forced him to take them’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited another minute, perhaps he had just felt unwell, but if he had gone back to the den Regina would have shouted for him, probably for him to bring a thermometer and medicine or something… but still no David. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously kiddo?” Robin mumbled to a kid who couldn’t hear him, before placing the orange capsule down onto the island beside the three others, hearing the slight tinkling of the tablets inside falling over each other as they fell. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got to the kitchen door when he first heard the low hum of voices, one was David, he knew that immediately, but the other one wasn’t someone in Robin’s family, he knew all of their voices, their footsteps, their laughs, as well as he knew his own, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> other voice was not Regina or the other kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fire stirred inside of Robin’s veins, he knew it was an overreaction, that he would feel silly later when he realised that he rushed to his son to save him from someone trying to sell them a ticket to heaven or something, but it was better than the alternative possibility: something incredibly wrong and Robin not being there to save his child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickened his steps as he took a left out of the kitchen into the hallway, past the staircase, he could see only David there at the half open front door, he was okay, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Robin could see the way David was standing, careful to keep the weight off of his injured leg, pain clearly effecting him, but he was also tense, it wasn’t someone David was comfortable with talking to him, but David didn’t seem to be comfortable with anyone other than them. Robin still couldn’t see the person, he placed his hand on the door and slowly pulled it open, but his eyes were completely on his son, scanning for any injuries on automatic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sunshine, who’s at the door-?” Robin asked in the pointed way which told whoever it was that he was there and to stop talking to his kid, David met his eyes and Robin could see that his irises had taken on the blue of a sea in a turbulent storm, </span>
  <em>
    <span>worry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his head to look out into the night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello son.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The protective fire which had been pulsing through Robin’s veins had now frozen in fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man was smirking at him, he was clearly fully aware of the effect that his arrival had on Robin, “Are you going to invite me inside?” He asked, not waiting for an invitation or response he stepped into the room, not also bothering to wait for David to move aside he just walked through him, forcing David to move quickly and fall back against the window next to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David glared at the man who seemed to be drinking in Robin’s reaction, his fear, really. Robin’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The man did look like Robin, his hair was grey and he was older, slight wrinkles on his face which he had clearly had work done on, he looked a little like a ken doll, David thought. What was jarring, at least to David, was that it was summer, it was pretty warm outside despite the now late hour but the man was wearing a suit, David knew absolutely nothing about suits, or about shoes, or watches (which the man was wearing a prominent one in a ‘look at me’ gesture), but David knew that the one outfit the man was wearing was worth more money that David had even imagined when he used to think about winning the lottery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David looked from the stranger to Robin, it was so clear that he was Robin’s father; take away Robin’s beard and age him about twenty years and the two could be brothers… but this man being Robin’s father meant that he was… he was David’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>grandfather. </span>
  </em>
  <span>No. No, David had enough family already, he didn’t need or want anymore, not right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin finally moved to action: this man was inside his house, it wasn’t the first time, but there had always been warning, and the last time he had been here was when Margot was a baby and Robin’s mother was alive, he had only been invited </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his mother, in fact. He looked to David who was looking scared, he was trying to hide it, but he was leaning back against the wall and was making himself smaller, Robin realised that Francis Locksley had pushed past Robin’s son, he had shouldered him. Robin was going to kill him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin stepped ever so slightly in front of his kid, wanting him away from him, he wanted him back with Regina, where he was safe. “What the hell are you doing here, Francis?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man tutted in a way which showed how little he cared, he was slowly looking around the hallway, taking in the photographs, “I came to visit you, Robin, I heard tell that I have a new grandchild; I thought I told you to be more careful about,” he cleared his throat distastefully, “‘accidental’ offspring.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My son is not an ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>accident offspring</span>
  </em>
  <span>’” Robin spat, but his father gave him a look which told him he knew it was bullshit, he wasn’t wrong, David wasn’t a mistake, which is what Robin knew Francis meant, “and I don’t remember sending you an announcement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s lucky I still have friends in your little town then, isn’t it,” his smile was cold and didn’t meet his eyes, even as he turned it on David, he held out his hand, commanding a handshake, “a pleasure, I’m sure. I’m your grandfather, Francis, though I doubt your father has told you much about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David swallowed but shook his hand, a shiver running down his spine at the cold look in his grey eyes, he was so used to Robin’s English accent with the few american words or phrases mixed in, but this guys’ accent was firmly in place, as though he practiced it daily, it was much more formal in tone than Robin’s. David found himself fighting to  “Er, hi, I’m, my name’s David.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware, how are you enjoying living here, I heard </span>
  <em>
    <span>all about</span>
  </em>
  <span> the misfortune of your aunt and cousin, it was a surprise to hear about your,” he hesitated for a millisecond, the only sign of him being a human, “conception, Ms De Vane is an impressive lawyer, will you be living with her full time? I know that it is common for children to live with their mothers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David took a shaky breath, his hand still being clasped in this man, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>grandfather</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He could feel his chest tightening, breathing taking longer than it should, or shorter, what was the difference, he could hear his own breaths coming out faster and faster but still no air was going in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly there was a force against his hand, forcing Francis to drop his hand, it took him a moment to realise that the force had been Robin’s body moving against the clasped hands, Robin turned to face him, completely blocking Francis, his face was serious, his hand went to David shoulder, squeezing it slightly, until David managed to take a calm breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to your room, David.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha-?,” David frowned shrugging Robin’s hand off of his shoulder, he didn’t get why he was being sent to his room, sure he had no strong urge to stay here, not with Francis, but he also didn’t particularly want to leave Robin alone with him, a strange protective feeling stirring in him, mixed with an even stranger anxiety about leaving Robin. He didn’t want to go, especially with Robin seeming so… off… </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your room. Go. Now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David still didn’t move, he opened his mouth to speak again but Robin beat him to it, his voice barely restraining anger as he said,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>David.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David wasn’t sure he could actually move, even if he wanted to, he was stuck in place, he could feel Francis’ eyes on him even through Robin’s body, he didn’t want to stay here, his skin crawling, but he couldn’t leave, he couldn’t leave Robin. Even if Robin was mad and barely restraining himself from shouting at David, he could take whatever was going to happen next, he had gotten similar from Ruth’s anger, it was a small price to pay to make sure that Francis didn’t do anything to Robin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey what’s taking you two so-” Regina’s voice filled the foyer, light and joking, but falling to a stop when she saw the scene in front of her, there was a slight pause, “Francis, what are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David moved two steps to his right so he could see Regina, he didn’t like not being able to see her, when he could he felt like he could breathe a little easier, she was also frowning at the older man, though she seemed to at least be trying to appear civil, unlike Robin, who had also turned to see Regina, though he was still stood like a shield in front of David. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Francis was the only one smiling, though it didn’t touch his cold eyes, “I’m here to meet my grandson, I heard about his arrival, not through my son, of course, but that’s not unexpected. I’m of an age now that it’s time for me to begin fostering a relationship with my grandchildren.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over my dead body.” Robin growled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Francis gave him a smile which must have meant to be kind, but really just said ‘that can be arranged’, “There’s no need to be quite so inhospitable, Robin, surely it is David’s choice, you would deprive him of yet more family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s breathing stopped, he squeezed his eyes shut</span>
  <em>
    <span>, he was in the back of the car again, James and Ruth arguing about something, James wanting to stay in someplace or something, David had learnt to tune it out, a horn, the car swerving, a massive force, a scream, two screams, several screams, David was flying.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Two hands appeared back on David’s shoulders, grounding him, they were real, so very real, he was safe, the soft voice said, and he believed it, he opened his eyes and Regina was stood in front of him, a look of concern on her face, even as she tried to give him a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, honey, you’re here, you’re home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David gave a jerky nod of his head and swallowed. He tried to look brave but he could tell by Regina’s face that he was failing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Regina’s hands moved to David’s face, cupping his cheeks and giving him an encouraging smile, “Why don’t you go and join your brothers and sister in the den, you guys can start playing the movie, me and your dad will join you in a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robin said to go to my room,” David’s voice was low and cautious, not wanting to disobey either of them, not at this exact moment anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina smiled at him before looking at Robin, who was stood sideways so he could see both the two of them and Francis clearly, “David can go to the den, can’t he, we all need to finish movie night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin nodded his head, “Do what Regina says, David.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tone was firm, not quite cold but certainly not warm, he said it as though David was in trouble, or was trying to disobey, not the exact opposite, either way David forced himself to move, one step in front of the other, though with his limp it was slower than he wanted, he could feel everyone's eyes on him as he moved, he hated it. He was just about pass Francis completely when the stiff english accent caused him to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David,” Francis smiled as his grandson came to a stop, “it was a pleasure to meet you, I hope we’ll see each other again soon.” he held out an envelope with David’s name on the front in neat cursive, “You look so much like your father, though I’m sure that you’re much better behaved than he was at your age.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David didn’t know what to say, so he took the envelope, “Th-thank you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>David go.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s voice was louder and fiercer this time, clearly angry at David, so David gulped and limped faster out of the foyer taking a left and heading into the den, tucking the envelope into his pocket as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of his siblings stared at him, Roland asked what was going on, but David took a seat in the far corner of the room, pulling his knees up to his chest, “They said to start the movie without them,” he mumbled to them, glad that none of them tried to leave the room, though they were all looking at them weirdly. Henry, luckily, took charge, getting his younger siblings to sit down and starting the movie, David was relieved, it wasn’t like he could have taken charge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had fucked up again, he was the reason Francis had turned up, he was the reason why Robin was now mad, at Francis, and at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David must had zoned out for a while, maybe he had even fallen asleep for a little while, but the next thing he heard was the slamming of the front door, he looked around the room, Roland and Margot were both fast asleep, curled together, Henry was fast asleep while texting or playing a game on his cellphone, apparently he hadn’t heard the slamming of the door. David hesitated, he should go and look, see what happened, see if Francis was gone, what had happened, if everyone was okay, if Robina and Regina were okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina walked into the den, gently smiling at her sleeping and half sleeping children, before turning her gaze on David she gave him a half smile before turning to Henry. “Baby go to bed, please, it’s late, I’ll come and say goodnight to you in a minute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry didn’t protest, he stood up, let his mother press a kiss to his forehead, he smiled and said goodnight to David before leaving, still on his cellphone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina then moved to Margot and Roland, saying the same thing to them, once she had woken the pair up, neither were awake enough to protest, both of them hugged David goodnight, Margot pressing a kiss to his cheek before leaving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regina took a seat beside him, her hand running through David’s hair, with an endearing smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Robin?” David asked, already guessing the answer, not there, he didn’t want to see David. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He went out for a jog, he wanted to burn some energy off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David felt whatever was left of his hope disappearing, “Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll be home later, honey, he just needed some air, and some time to calm down,” her voice was calm but there was a sadness in her eyes, whether for David or for Robin the boy did not know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I should have… I shouldn’t have…” David didn’t know, the only actual thing he could have done would have been not joining their family, and despite everything David couldn’t bring himself to say it, he couldn’t wish to not be part of their family anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t do anything baby, not a thing, Francis is… he always has his own agenda, there’s a reason why he’s not in our lives,” she stroked his hair, “you didn’t do anything wrong, not a thing, Robin knows that too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David doubted that, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> doubted it, but he nodded halfheartedly, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina let out a tiny sigh, she knew her husband’s face well enough to understand the look on his son’s face, and that he wouldn’t be wanting to talk more about this, his mind was already made up, “How’re you feeling? You had a little bit of a,” she paused searching her head for a term which he’d be okay with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Freak out?” his tone was dry as he raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina gave him a look which was ever so slightly admonishing, “Anxiety attack. Do you need to take one of the tablets doctor Hopper prescribed you?” her question was met with a shrug. “Honey?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shrugged again before sighing ever so slightly, “The doc said they’ll probably knock me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you don’t want to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shrugged again, before his eyes drifted towards the door, “When’s Robin gonna be back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah, Regina thought to herself, “I’m sure he’ll be back soon, I know if he were here he’d want you to take the medication, if you feel you need it. You could take it and go up to bed, I’ll get your dad to come and see you as soon as he’s home, okay?” She could see how on edge David looked; his fingers dancing on his pyjama-ed leg, the way he was clearly forcing himself to breathe slowly, the way Robin always encouraged him to do. “He won’t be long David, honey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David swallowed, “‘Kay, yeah, I’ll take the pill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, c’mon let’s go get you sorted.” She stood up and held out a hand to David to help him up, he accepted it and the two went off. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David could feel sleep trying to overtake him as soon as he led down in his bed, even as he tried to fight it, the effect of the anti-anxiety pill was undeniable, as was the fact that it would have him asleep within an hour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed his phone off of his bedside table, where he had also placed the unopened envelope from Francis, he opened the chat app; Robin had been online not long ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David debated sending a text, asking him if he was on his way home, but it was too clingy, he wasn’t a little kid, hell he had only known Robin for a couple of weeks, it wasn’t like they were… he didn’t even know anymore. He just… he wanted to apologise, for bringing Francis back into Robin’s life, he wanted Robin to accept his apology… and to hug him, he didn’t know why he wanted that, he shouldn’t need that, he didn’t know anymore. He was too tired, much too tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could have sworn that he heard the door opening downstairs as he drifted off to sleep. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lemme know what you think :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>David had spent most of Monday in his room, either napping or trying his hardest to get through some of the work he had been set for summer school, he had spent more time internally debating if it was required reading or homework, than he had spent actually reading Of Mice and Men and trying to write an essay about some character called Curley's Wife, all he had managed was a sentence saying that it was bullshit that she was named like a possession of her husbands, he thought it was all that they needed, but according to the essay guidelines it was meant to be longer. He had opened his math booklet and closed it immediately, and had written an entirely made up life story for the founder of Storybrooke, the latter of which was more a protest that he had been given an assignment about someone he had never even heard of who had founded a town he had been living in for less than a month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had barely seen Robin, he had been there, but only physically, he made sure David took his meds when he needed to, he made sure David ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he stuck his head around the door at some point in the late afternoon to make sure that David had been doing schoolwork like he said he had; but there had been no calling him ‘Sunshine’, something which David would never have imagined or would ever admit missing, there hadn’t been constant helicopter parenting, not that he had noticed anyway, there had only been five ‘how are you feeling’’s in the morning, and he hadn’t demanded a more in depth answer than whatever David had mumbled in answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin was clearly avoiding him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay David was avoiding Robin too, but that wasn’t the point, Robin was clearly mad at David, and David didn’t even have the beginnings of an idea of how to fix it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was after dinner, where Regina had done most of the heavy lifting in terms of conversation, that David went back up to his room, telling Regina he was tired when she asked him to stay and they could watch TV, he even declined Henry’s offer to play videogames in the younger boy’s room. David wanted to be alone, he didn’t want to be downstairs, or even awake, should someone appear at the door again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a shower, he didn’t bother to style his hair, instead he flicked on the tv, trying to find anything to watch, he gave up and left the tv on to play some movie which was already halfway through, he threw the towel into the hamper before returning to sit on his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The envelope hadn’t been touched, he had been planning on giving it to Robin today, saying he hadn’t opened it, that he didn’t want to open it, didn’t want to know what was in it, he didn’t care about Francis, even if the thought of him made David’s blood run cold; but Robin was mad at him, and two could play that game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David carefully opened the envelope, doubting himself as he did, maybe he should just leave it be, it seemed like a much smarter solution… Two long rectangular pieces of paper came out of the envelope, one rather thin, the other on thick paper which David assumed was more expensive than the clothes he was currently wearing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His choice for which to read first was settled when the thinner one fell out of his hands and onto his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The expensive paper was thick and smelt vaguely of cologne which was too musky for David’s tastes, not that he wore any himself, he liked whatever it was Robin had which smelt like the forest, or maybe it was just Robin. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear David, I hope that this makes some amends for the birthdays and holidays I have missed in your life. Please assure your father that it comes without a price from me, it is a gift, and though I do hope to get to know you better this is not a payment or bribe towards that. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Your Grandfather, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Francis Jonathon William Locksley III</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s brow furrowed at the couple of sentences on the paper, neat blue writing with plenty of loops and embellishments, it wouldn’t have looked out of place on an olde timey document. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>$3,000. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was what the cheque said, he read it once, twice, three times, counting the zeros again and again, rereading the words just as many times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make sense, this guy who he had barely said five words to was giving him thousands of dollars, that there was no catch. There had to be, there was no way someone would give away so much money, even if he looked like he could easily spare it… David couldn’t accept it, he shouldn’t have even opened the fucking envelope, he should have given it to Robin; sure they’d been avoiding each other but…. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David let out a loud sigh, half hoping that Robin would be lurking outside of his door and would hear and come and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fix</span>
  </em>
  <span> this, take it off of David’s hands, but despite waiting three whole and silent minutes, his dad didn’t swoop in and save the day. David tried his best not to resent Robin for that, and then tried his best not to resent himself, for becoming so useless so fast; like a feral kitten domesticated to the point of no longer being a cat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stuffed the letter and the cheque back into the envelope, he wasn’t going to be part of this, he refused to be a pawn in the game between Robin and Francis, he swiped his way through several inane cellphone games until he heard every last person go to bed, he tiptoed down the stairs and placed the envelope on Robin’s desk, before heading to bed himself, knowing that he would have a night full of nightmares and trying to stay quiet enough that he didn’t wake Regina and Robin. It was no longer David’s problem, he wasn’t going to be involved in Robin’s family shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s leg ached as they sat around the table, breakfast foods in various plates and dishes in at each of their places, David wasn’t hungry, he had tried to tell Regina and Robin that, but he had been told in no uncertain terms that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> be eating a slice of toast and a bowlful of fruit salad at the very least. He pushed the fruit around his dish, having eaten all of the toast, other than the crusts, he had a soul after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat your fruit David.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David kept his eyes on the bowl in front of him as he rolled his eyes, not bothering to look towards Robin, who was just as distant this morning, if a little more harried looking at having to be the lone parent that morning, thanks to an early morning meeting Regina had. “I am.” He didn’t look up but he could tell that Robin was also rolling his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And take your pill, sooner rather than later,” Robin carried on, trying to ignore how much of a teenager David was being, he’d already had Henry being a teenage, two in the matter of as many hours was too much, “we’ll be going not long after breakfast, it needs time to work, don’t think I haven’t noticed you rubbing your leg.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?,” David finally raised his head, a look of confusion mixed with sleepiness filled every line and crevice of his face, “Where’re we goin’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been talking about it all breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David could see Robin’s squinted eyes looking him over, as though something was broken in him, just because David hadn’t been interested or awake enough to deal with Henry and Robin’s tense not-argument, </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t bother to listen when you’re talking.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He didn’t mean for it to come out quite so dry as it did, it had meant to come out as a joke, but David wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with someone who had practically avoided him for an entire day, and sure David had been avoiding him back, but that wasn’t the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rolo and Go have swimming lessons, you and Henry aren’t staying home alone so you’re coming with, we need to pop to the store before to get them new cozzies, and then we have some errands after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s frown deepened, not just at the words which didn’t mean anything to David, but at the firm tone Robin was using as though David had been arguing with him, not just the joke David had tried to make. He wanted to go back to bed and stay there until the next day, or maybe until Robin was done being pissed at him, maybe he’d just sleep through the next three years and he’d be an adult and he could leave, he could find a home which wanted him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meds David.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David didn’t bother to argue, he tipped the pills from the tiny plastic cup into his hand, then took them one by one, each with a swing of orange juice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>-Henry</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Robin warned, not unkindly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry held up is hands in surrender but continued regardless, “I’m not trying to get us to stay home, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hen-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-</span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> maybe me and David could go around the town while they’re having their lessons? We could go to like the game store, and stuff, I have my allowance, and we’ll just be bored, the pool will be boiling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin sighed gently, he could see his son’s eyes on him, and his older son’s eyes kept flickering up then down to his hand when he saw Robin eyeing him, he didn’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his children out of his eyesight even knowing that Francis had gone back to New York. He knew that it wasn’t fair to take his own anxieties out on his kids, and he was trying not to, but he knew Francis brought the worst out in him- his anxieties, his mental distance in the aftermath of his father’s drop in. “I…. I suppose it’ll only be a couple of hours,” he said slowly, watching Henry’s face light up, luckily Roland and Margot weren’t complaining, if only because they had been looking forward to their swimming lessons, “David?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go with Henry,” he said without hesitation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin forced himself not to sigh, “Okay, but you’re both texting every half an hour, a minute late and I’m calling you, both of you, got it?” Henry nodded his head, and after a pointed stare from Robin David nodded too. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before the family were climbing out of the car, into the summer sun, Margot and Roland were begging Henry for something as David tried to pull his crutch from the car where it had slipped and gotten stuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goddammit,” he grumbled under his breath, pulling harder, letting out more grumbled swears under his breath, hidden by his panting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin moved fluidly around David, and gently moved the crutch so that it could be lifted out, a more careful approach, he took in the purple bags under David’s eyes, and how pale he looked, before passing the crutch over waiting for David to slip his good arm through and lean on it. “You sure you’re ready for this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna be stuck in a pool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have pushed you in,” it was meant to be a joke but somehow it came out almost as an accusation, he hadn’t gotten much sleep either, he opened his mouth to say so but David rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin sighed, “Yeah. Look, you get tired, you take a seat, whenever and wherever, and if you can’t walk around anymore you text Regina or you call me, I’ll get Regina to pick you up early for brunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do this,” David said more to himself than to Robin, his hand went into his pocket of his shorts, the pocket containing his old cellphone, he needed it today, even if it was made redundant, he had Robin’s old one in his other pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Robin reached into his own pocket, pulling out several notes, “here, your allowance, you can spend it on whatever - anything age appropriate,” he quickly amended, “snacks, comics, books, anything like that, if you get clothes or things for your room bring me a receipt and I’ll reimburse you; Regina and I are paying for that, got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Why’re you…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s allowance, $15 a week, spend it all, save it to buy bigger and better things, it’s up to you. You’re gonna be getting it every week, this is the money you should’ve got the past few weeks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David swallowed letting his eyes fall, remembering the money James would steal from Ruth or from strangers, giving some to David and calling it allowance, before he had taught David to swipe money himself, obviously. “Thanks Robin.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to thank me…,” he hesitated, “you sure you don’t want to come hang out at the pool? I’ll buy you an ice lolly - a popsicle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shook his head, he could tell Robin was still holding him at arm's length, he’d rather limp around this town than this, it was more painful than he would ever admit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The town was prettier than David had assumed it would be, especially in the sun, Henry chattering about the latest comic book he was going to get, both of them had popsicles in their hands, Henry a red one, David green. The sun was hitting the town, warming David’s skin, making his day feel now quite so bad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you gonna get?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er…, I don’t know,” David admitted, the money was in his pocket, it felt as though it was burning a hole in it, he wanted to spend it, to splurge for once, “Maybe we can go to that game place you told me about? I need to find a game I can whoop your ass at.” He smiled as his brother laughed, he knew that it was unlikely too, his best possibility of winning would be a game so simple that Henry would be too good, he laughed with his brother knowing it was impossible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought of his other brother, the one who used to be older and taller than him, the one who had known that they weren’t brothers at all, but had always been at his side, often reading a book he’d shove into David’s hands if there were any other teenagers around, “Are there any bookstores?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s where I’m getting my comic from, let’s go there first, do you wanna get a comic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David gave a half shrug as he slurped the last of his popsicle into his mouth, then pushed the wooden stick into one of the public trash cans as they turned off of the small street onto Main Street, all of the stores down here had pastel siding, David knew this street, that it wasn’t too far from Dr Hopper’s office. He smiled softly  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t know, maybe you can help me find some?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hopeful question seemed to mean the world to Henry who began to chatter about DC versus Marvel, it was clear that he favoured the latter, David already knew that he’d choose any Marvel comics Henry picked out for him, maybe he’d try and find some of the books James had liked to read, none of them survived the crash, James had always tried to get David to read them, he hadn’t got around to it, he could imagine James now, laughing that it took his dying for David to accept his advice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Several stores later David had a bag full of some old Nintendo games clearly nobody wanted, a few comic books Henry had decided that David would enjoy, two books one which he knew his brother had read and enjoyed enough to keep it in his meagre belongings every place they went, and one which was on sale and looked pretty cool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of his money had been spent in an art store, an art store David would have happily spent all of his time in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It had been deceptively large inside, twisting and turning aisles, like a labyrinth, there were wooden shelves painted a deep black, but that only served to bring out the bright colours of the paints; more shades than even David could have imagined, let alone named- acrylics, oil, watercolours, gouache, even spray paints. There were pens, pencils, crayons, pastels, paintbrushes, markers, everything and anything David could imagine. There were art magazines and books, some about famous artists, some about how to draw comics or on how to become an expert at shading, he let his fingers trail the spines of the books, before making his way to the sketchbooks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were so many types, sizes, differently bound some moleskin some paper, the paper inside was different types for different types of art. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He eventually picked out a pack of two moleskin sketch pads, one a travel size one the other normal, they were majorly discounted as they were ever so slightly damaged just the covers, he grabbed another discounted pack of sketching pencils of various grades, in a dented tin box, he stared at the paints as he noticed Henry heading to the checkout, a book thin book in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David could have lived in the store, but he knew Henry was wanting to head to the bookstore and Henry and he had been having a good day, David didn’t want to make a single misstep, so he got into the queue behind Henry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An elderly lady was at the till, he had heard her talking animatedly to Henry, who was flicking through his book, David handed his things over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re new, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah, I’m, I moved here a few weeks ago.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s my brother, Ms Tilbrook,” Henry called over, not even bothering to take his eyes off of his how to guide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought that,” she told David, it didn’t surprise him, he knew that he was the talk of the sleepy town, “you look just like your father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do?” David couldn’t help but ask, raising an eyebrow, she smiled in a knowing way even if he didn’t quite believe it, “I didn’t realise he came here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite often,” she smiled, “for your grandmother, she was a lovely lady wasn’t she? I was sorry to hear that she passed away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David just gave a small nod, he didn’t fancy getting into his whole life story, and that he had never met his grandmother, he had heard she was nice though, so she was probably right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What materials do you favour?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er,” David ran his hand through his hair, “I like paints, acrylics, but I mostly just sketch; I’m not that good, but I like it, y’know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't matter if you're good or not," she told him sagely as she reached behind the counter, her hands making noises as they moved unseen things around, "only that you enjoy it." She slid a box of acrylic paints into the paper bag she had placed his other items in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," David quickly shook his head, "I didn't, I don't have enough money for those."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ignored him as she rooted for something else next to the paper bag, she found a slip with a plastic card on it and slid it, along with a pen, across the counter to him, "Here, sign here and I'll scan it and you'll get thirty percent off, as well as the welcoming paints."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't.." David tilted his head in confusion as he looked down at the card, a black card with the white outlines of different art mediums along with the store name and a long number on the front, he didn't understand there had to be some sort of catch or signing up fee. "Really? I just have to sign this, there's no like....?" he tried to find the words without making it sound like he suspected her of scamming him or something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She simply gave a soft chuckle and handed him a pen, “There’s no hidden charges, or scams,” she assured him not unkindly, “it’s a membership card it’ll earn you point which you can spend in the store, you’ll get some special offers, a birthday treat, it’s just a way that we get more people into the store.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David hesitated for a second but he took in the elderly lady’s kind smile and he obliged, filling out the details on the card the card was stuck on; he slid the card back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you forgot to put your last name, honey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> The card was slid back to him, and David’s pen paused on the blank surname slot, he wasn’t a Nolan, both technically or internally, de Vane was nowhere near who he was Mallory or Ruth be damned, he thought about Robin clearly mad at him for something out of his control, but he also thought of Sunday, before Francis turned up and ruined it all, it wouldn’t matter, not really, only David would see this card, so he wrote down David R Locksley, in his messy scrawl, the last name looking foreign to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The paper was taken from him, filed away as she told him that he would receive his official card, with his name on it, would be mailed to him in a few days. David handed the money over, surprisingly little after the heavy discount from the card and the discounted items. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Henry and David continued their walk through the town, David let Henry handle texting Robin when they were meant to, not only because he didn’t want to really talk to him, but also because walking with the crutch made texting on the go almost impossible, David hated having to stop for breaks as it was, if he was having to text Robin they’d be having to stop even more often than they already were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Along with his art supplies, book, and comic, David picked up a few discounted games for the DS Henry had given him, and found a poster for a small English band Jamie had introduced him to, he couldn’t help but buy it, bittersweet feelings filled at the poster and the memories of his big brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last store was a small candy store, both boys only having a few dollars each left, the store seemed like something out of Harry Potter, wooden shelves lined with glass jars of candy of various colours and types, what couldn’t be contained in jars were on the lower shelves, cans of sodas of flavours only Willy Wonka himself could have dreamt were in mini fridges at below them both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David grabbed a lollipop for each of his three younger siblings, settled on a small box of dark chocolates for Regina, he settled on a bag of English clotted cream fudge for Robin not knowing what he could get that he would like. He didn’t know what made him want to give them all treats, but he did, so for once he didn’t question his own thoughts, instead he grabbed some of the weirder sounding candy and chocolate for himself and paid. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they had left the store David felt as though he could fall asleep on his feet, well maybe on the sidewalk, he didn’t think that his leg would be holding him up for that much longer. He collapsed onto the bench outside of the ‘Ye olde sweet shop’, as Henry stood texting on his cell and David allowed himself to lean over and hold his head with his hands, his eyes staring at the grey sidewalk for only a second before squeezing them shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made a humming noise before realising that it wouldn’t be enough to solve Henry’s worried voice, “Yeah, yeah, my head just hurts a bit, I just need a second, I’ll be okay after. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard Henry talking on his cell, too quiet for David to make out the words, and he didn’t really care to either, instead he was trying to will his headache away, and when that didn’t work for some reason, he began to plot having to get to the pool, wherever it was, where Robin would hopefully have some pain pills he could take, maybe he could curl up in the car and nap until everyone was ready to head back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a foot collide with his own, his head shot up, it wasn't his sore leg which was the only relief, but there was a shot through his heart, like a pre warning of the possibility of his other leg being hurt, as his head shot up his leg slipped all the way back so it was mostly shielded by the underside of the bench. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In front of him were three teenage boys, they didn't look familiar to David, but he also hadn't been paying much attention at school the other day, they seem to recognise him though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tall boy at the very front grinned at him, he was tall and broad shouldered, his brown hair styled religiously, not a hair out of its place, he was tanned and was smirking in a way which wasn't friendly, but couldn't be classed as mean either. He looked a little familiar, the more David looked at him, before David had a chance to say anything the boy's mouth broke into a smile and he spoke, his accent the same as the rest of the people in the town. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought that was you! The new kid right, the one who freaked out in school the other day! Hey guys see I told ya," he turned his head to his friends only for a second before grinning back at David. "That was pretty funny, you should have seen the teachers face, we've all been tempted to just leave mid lesson, props to you for actually doing it." he laughed. "You hate the school that much already, you made your mind up about it pretty quickly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David opened his mouth to try and find his words but he found his heart beating fast, and his mind clear of any cool retort or anything to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey what's your name anyway, I don't... Daniel, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"David." David's voice sounded dry and meek even to himself. " I didn't, I just had to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You had to go? Why? The teachers seemed okay with it, what'd you say, we might need to use that excuse next time I wanna skip, right guys?" He turned his attention back to his grinning cronies, both looked a lot like the first guy, whose name David still had no idea, he also had no idea what to say, he opened his mouth, to try and ask, or to figure a way out, when another voice joined the fray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seriously, Herc?" This new voice was more familiar to David, the female voice, soft in general but there was a steel edge, hinting at an inner strength, David looked towards where the voice came from, a short girl, his age, with short hair, a sweet smile on her face but it was fake, David knew that much, and it wasn't directed towards him, it was directed to 'Herc'. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking beside her were another couple of girls, and Henry, looking guiltily at David, as though it was his fault that the guys had walked over, David felt bad that he made Henry look like that, all because of his freak out at school, Herc wasn’t wrong about </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mare-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that.” She pulled the closest boy across away from David’s bench and a little down the sidewalk, as expected Herc’s cronies followed suit, with one of the girls glaring at them, while the other was seemingly unaware of David at all, her eyes were for the blonde guy at her side alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mary’s voice dropped but not nearly loud enough for David not to hear, “You said you were going to leave him alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Herc’s voice was just as ‘quiet’, “What? I was just asking him a couple of questions, you saw him freak out in class, and you won’t tell us what happened when you went after him, I was just asking him. Maybe I could have helped him out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is absolutely nothing you could do to help him, Hercules Angelos.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David sucked in a breath, forcing himself to look away from the group of teenagers to Henry, who looked sheepish, “Sorry,” he said at the same time that Henry said the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just talking to my mom, she said we could meet her at her office, dad can pick us up from there, it’s not far if you can walk, but I can call her back and she’ll come pick us up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David watched him hold up his phone, the evaluating face so similar to Robin’s that David quickly shook his head, despite the flare in pain in his head, swiftness was key to this David had quickly learnt, “I can walk, let’s go, yeah?” He stood up as fast as he could, gathering his crutch and grabbing for his bags. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he told him as soon as they began to walk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t do anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I… they came over because when I went to school I freaked out, I ran out of class, locked myself in a supply closet, they came over to see what happened, I’m sorry I don’t know if-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already knew, mom and dad didn’t tell us but I overheard, they were both really worried about you. You have nothing to apologise for, Mary’s boyfriend’s cool but he’s kinda a jerk. What happened isn’t your fault, and it’s none of their business, if they think it is then they’re not worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David came to a stop, “That’s… really wise. You’re a smart kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Henry grinned, “it’s what mom and dad told me when kids at school realised I was adopted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Were they…, did they give you shit?” David frowned before adding, “do they still give you shit?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” David said slowly, “if they start again though, tell me, yeah, Jamie taught me how to throw a punch or two.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry grinned at David, he was about to ask him to teach him, and to ask him what else his brother/cousin had taught him, but Mary Margaret came down the street towards them, not just walking but walking to them, Henry saw David turn his head to her when she reached them, his cheeks had gone slightly pink, and it wasn’t from the sun. Henry looked from his big brother to the girl who Henry had known his whole life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she was ever so slightly breathless from rushing to catch up with them, “I’m so sorry about Herc, he can be a bit… a little boneheaded, I think it’s all the soccer he plays, it can’t be good for the brain,” she gave a little laugh, but only Henry smiled, David looked… scared? </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Clearly he hadn’t wanted or expected her to catch up to him, she didn’t blame him, the first time they’d met was when he was having an anxiety attack and locked in a supply closet, the time after that was about a minute ago when her boyfriend was being an asshole. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>She held out the book in her hand, “I think this fell out of one of your bags.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David accepted the book, tucking it back into the bag from the bookstore, making sure it was safe and secure, “Er, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, that’s a good book, you’ll have to tell me what you think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David glanced down at the bag in his hand then back up at Mary, “Er, yeah sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” she smiled at him, she could feel a slight heat in her cheeks, probably from rushing after them, she glanced back to her friends and boyfriend, then back to Henry and his brother, “I guess I’ll see you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er yeah, sure,” he cursed himself internally, did he only have one thing he knew how to say? “Thanks for the,” he held up his bag of books, “y’know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” she pulled Henry into a quick hug, I’ll see you soon, Hen,” she debated doing the same thing to David but knew it would be weird, and wondered why she had even debated it, “I’ll see you, David.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah,” David managed to say when she was already walking away, “C'ya.” He looked at Henry as the pair began to walk again, the younger boy was grinning at him, David couldn't help but blush, and grimace ever so slightly, “Shuddup,” he murmured without any heat, Henry just laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Henry mimed locking his mouth with a key. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And despite the raging pain in his head and leg, David couldn’t help but smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were let right through to Regina’s office when they got to her building, David’s head was hurting so much that he was having to squint away from the lights, and his limp was even more pronounced than before. Henry led the way, knowing his way off by heart, he continued to glance back at David as they walked, and David was too tired and in too much pain to even care. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh honey, come inside, lie down on the couch, I’ve made it as dark as I can, Henry told me your head was hurting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David allowed Regina to lead him inside of her office and onto a small couch, he sat with his head down and eyes squeezed shut, he looked up when he heard footsteps inside of the room, Regina was alone, “‘m sorry, you ’ere probably busy,” he could hear his words slurring together from sheer fatigue, despite his best efforts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m never too busy for you honey, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span>, understand?” She watched his go to nod but before she could warn him he grimaced in pain, as she expected. She grimaced in sympathy, “Lay down, David, shut your eyes, Robin’s phone’s turned off but Henry’s walking to the pool to track him, we’ll get you your medicine, and get you home.” She perched herself on the coffee table when David stayed upright, running his hand through his hair in the same way Robin did when he was troubled. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” he looked up and met her eyes, they were unguarded for once but sad, sad in a way which was more than just the physical pain. “You can tell me, you can talk to me about anything, but I know that somethings wrong, I can see it in your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s mad at me,” he paused as he mentally corrected himself from saying the words ‘my dad’ out loud, he was currently trying not to even think about it, “Robin, he’s mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina frowned, “Did something happen this morning?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shook his head and for the millionth time regretted his decision to be a dumbass, at this point it might just be innate not a decision at all, “Sunday, his dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina sighed sympathetically, “He’s not mad at you honey, trust me, he’s not mad at you. He’s distracted, he didn’t want you to have to ever meet Francis, he’s angry at Francis, and is going all ‘Papa bear’ protective over you. When your dad’s angry he gets withdrawn, but his anger’s not at you, at all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took in his face and gave him another sympathetic smile, he was Robin’s son through and through, even if there were strands of her former best friend sewn into him. “You two are too alike sometimes, you can blame him, he’s more of an idiot than you,” her voice was full of love despite her words. She stood up and dropped a kiss onto his mussed curls. “Lay down, dear, get some sleep, or at the very least rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David hadn’t slept, but he also hadn’t been perfectly conscious, he had been half asleep, waking up fully when he heard voices joining him in the room, they left again and David fell back into his half sleep, he woke up feeling his hair being stroked, if he hadn’t been in so much pain he might have falling back asleep, this time a proper sleep, instead he hesitantly cranked one eye open, Robin was looking down at him, his face mapped with lines from his frown. He opened both eyes, knowing Robin had already seen signs of him awake, he couldn’t fake sleep now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to sit up, kid, I’ve got your meds and some water, let’s get these down you then I’m helping you to the car, I think it’s naptime for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David groaned as he sat up, Robin’s hand on his back, when he was upright the hand stayed there, rubbing small circles, “Brunch? ‘gina ‘nd-,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No brunch today, Sunshine,” he cut in, grabbing the cup of water from the cooler, and the two tablets he had prepared, “Gina’s taken the kiddos so you can have a bit of peace, I’m gonna get you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David gritted his teeth and let out a small sigh, he took the medicine with a swig of water and handed the water cup back to Robin, he had screwed up again, he couldn’t even… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin chucked the cup into the small trash can across the room then stood up, “Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?” He watched David’s face scrunched up and tilt to one side, that adorable puppy dog look, the look he much preferred to the shamed look he had plastered on his face, which had only gotten worse when Robin mentioned them skipping brunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t…. I’ll... I can walk,” he bit back a sorry at the end of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh… sure…”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin may as well have</span>
  <span> carried him to the car by the end David was leaning on him so heavily, it should have been a relief that David was so light, but it just added to his nearly insurmountable worry when it came to David. He helped David into the car, placing his bags of whatever he bought down near his kid’s feet, as soon as he had and looked up he saw David’s head tilted towards the door, his eyes closed, already falling asleep, the small walk and the medicine had knocked him out. Robin tugged the seatbelt across him and clicked it into the lock. He spent a minute to just look at his kid, only fifteen, too old for his age… and his baby face and his curls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin knew that he only had a few more chances to get this father business right, he had to stop messing up, he had to try and sort out his own past without worrying David about the certainty of his present; Regina had made that much clear to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He double checked that the seatbelt was secure before closing the door as gently as he possibly could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When David opened his eyes again he was in his bed, tucked in so tightly he could barely move an inch. He forced himself to move a little, to loosen the covers enough that he could sit up when he was ready. His body was aching, but the sharp shooting pains had dulled to a constant and low level pain, and his headache was nearly completely gone, even if his head felt as though it was full of cotton wool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was movement at his side and he turned his head enough to see Robin at his side, reclined in David’s desk chair, one foot resting on his knee, a book in his hands. He must have felt David looking or heard him, because he blinked and placed the book on the bedside table, no longer reclining; he helped David sit up, before sitting forward in his own chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d I get here?” David asked eventually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin raised a single eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips, “I told you I could carry you,” he let out a small laugh at the shocked then embarrassed look on David’s face. “You were dead to the world and you needed to sleep, and you needed to sleep in your bed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David rubbed his hand over his face, “‘kay,” he said not knowing what if anything else he could say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’re you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shrugged, “Better than I was.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have made you walk around the town it was too much-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-No,” David interrupted, surprising even himself, “I liked it, it was, it was fun, I really liked it,” he thought about the mocking gang of boys, but he also thought about Mary, Mary Margaret as Henry had told him, he would shoulder that gang and the pain for the kindness in her eyes when she spoke to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin tilted his head, but then smiled softly, “Okay, maybe for a little less time next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both fell quiet for several minutes, in their own thoughts, neither a comfortable nor an uncomfortable silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came up here to see you when I got back from my run, the other night, after my father decided to pay a surprise visit. Gina told me that you’d just taken one of your strong anti-anxiety pills, when I got up here you were asleep, I just sat on the side of your bed for a while, I wanted to make sure you didn’t have a nightmare, or… I don’t know, I just wanted to make sure that you were safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause and David knew that it was for him, the opportunity for him to make a joke, for him to tell him that he didn’t care, that it wasn’t enough, but it was, it was more than David would ever expect, to have Robin watching over him, whether he needed to or not. So he didn’t say anything, letting Robin continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I felt bad, I still do. I should have been there, I should have calmed you down, I should have stepped up… So I sat watching you, just… I wanted to make sure Francis didn’t trigger a nightmare…. I think I kind of hoped you’d wake or have a nightmare so I could make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, sending an apologetic look to his son, “So I could calm you, like I’m meant to be able to. I’m still trying to figure it out, how to be your dad; I didn’t want you to see me how I was, what I turn into whenever I see my father… I was an angry kid,  an angry teenager, I acted up and messed up, and whenever I’m near him it’s like I turn into that again…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David watched him let out a heavy sigh, he felt as though he needed to do that himself, he felt wound up tight, as though with ribbons or wires. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want you to see me angry, I didn’t want you to be scared of me, I needed to run it off, but I should have told you that then, not leaving you to try and guess what’s going on. I know that you get stuck in your head when it comes to this, I’m the same, I don’t want you to be like that, like me. I’m really sorry I messed up Sunshine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t mess up,” David told him quietly, “I mean not really. We were both kinda avoiding each other yesterday, I could have, should have talked to you, you could have come talked to me, we both kinda messed up. At least Archie will be happy we realised that… that we both messed up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin let out a breath of laughter, he smiled softly yet with pride at his son, “Gina tells me we’re alike, sometimes too alike.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She told me that too,” David smiled taking in the pride in Robin’s smile, it made his heart swell, “But she said you’re more of an idiot than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin laughed, rolling his eyes good naturedly, he couldn’t fight the smile on his own face seeing the life and cheekiness in David’s smile, “You’ve still got time to outdo me. She knew me when we were teenagers, I was definitely an idiot then, I’m trying my best not to be one anymore… Lately I seem to be failing at that, when it comes to me and you, I guess we’re not the best at communication.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shrugged but realised he was simply proving the point, “I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we can work on that, right Sunshine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate that nickname.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Robin grinned, he had seen the look on his face hearing it, “you don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David continued to smile and didn’t disagree, slowly his smile faded and after a brief lull in the conversation he asked, “Is he gonna come back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably,” Robin admitted, he didn’t want to lie to his son, not about this, “I’m not letting you near him, if you want to get to know him I… you can write letters or something, I don’t want him near you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to get to know him. He’s… I don’t know, I don’t remember everything about my-, about Robert, but I think he felt a bit like him, he was different but… yeah. I don’t want to have anything to do with him. That’s why I left that envelope on your desk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yeah, about that.” Robin grabbed the novel he had been reading and grabbed a small booklet from the back, he handed it over to David. “Francis has given all of you kids a certain amount of money, and as much as I dislike him, he doesn't’ lie about the money having no strings attached, it’s yours. I set up your bank account today, there’s a card there for you to get money out or to pay for stuff or whatever, maybe you can put in some of your allowance, save up for the future, for college, or for whatever you need, me and Regina have put some money in for you too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David opened the booklet and frowned at the number, “I can’t... this is too much,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of the money, he tried imagined what James would have said about it, he had always told David if they got enough money they’d run somewhere until they found a home, just the two of them, James wouldn’t have even been able to imagine this much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not, Sunshine, it’s some birthday money, some Christmas money from over the years, we owe you it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t owe me it,” David looked up, “you didn’t know about me so you don’t owe money for the missed time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunshine…” Robin shook his head with a soft smile, “you’re a good kid, and you’re keeping the money, and you’re going to figure out what you want this room to be like, we’re doing it up,” it wasn’t a new suggestion but David hadn’t made any indication of wanting to decorate it, “As for the rest of the money, the one from your most recent birthday….” He reached into the side table drawer, trying not to laugh at the look on David’s face when he brought out a wrapped box, a red bow and all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David unwrapped it slowly, a plain brown box, he looked to his father, who gave him a ‘go on’, look he opened the box to find a brand new phone and airpods neatly tucked into the box, and a small box of candy filling the last of the space, “A… a phone? That’s… this is like brand new!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Robin said slowly, the word ‘duh’ unsaid, “We just about missed your birthday, or both of them the real one and the not, it’s from me and Gina, I’m pretty sure your siblings are planning on get you some stuff too,” he warned, “We weren’t sure what to get you, but we thought you should have something better than my old phone. It’s on the family plan, so don’t go over your caps, but you’re going to be going to school soon, you’ll need something to keep in touch with us, and most the other kids will have a phone like this,” he didn’t want his kid to be the odd one out, “If you want a different one we can go to the store and change it, or-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was cut off by David practically launching himself at him, wrapping his arms around him, Robin’s hand went to the back of David’s head straight away, stroking his hair slightly when David carried on the hug. “I’m gonna try harder, Sunshine, you deserve a good dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David breathed in the smell of Robin, the mixture of a forest and chlorine from the pool, and some presumably expensive aftershave, nothing like Francis, it was simply </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, “You’re pretty good at it already, I don’t have any, like, experience with parents… but you and Gina are… you’re good.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He was rewarded with a kiss to the top of his head, the same as Regina had done, he remembered James doing it when he was worried, and Ruth sometimes, rarely but in her quiet sad moments, when she looked like she wanted to tell him something…. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could have told him about Robin, he could have had this years before, he was tired of being mad at her, for today at least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey I got you something too,” David said smiling as he pulled out of the hug and climbed out from under his bed covers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Robin grinned, knowing David needed to move on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, where’re my….?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the desk,” he watched as David stood up, limping deeply as he walked from the bed to the desk, restraining himself from helping him. “You can show me what you got, then you’re having lunch, Sunshine, you need to eat with your meds.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, dad,” David said so quietly that only he heard, he had rolled his eyes playfully, enough to tell himself that it was just a playful saying. He pushed it to the back of his mind as he hunted for Robin’s fudge.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks yall for the reviews and kudos, I seem to find it hard to write past like 13 chapters so this is a major achievement XD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>quite a fluffy chapter as Robin takes David, Roland, and Margot to the beach while henrys at a sleepover and reginas working </p><p>a quick fluffy chapter as I'm getting a kitten so have been focused on prepping for that, and I just booked my second covid vaccination! I hope yall are doing good! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>David collapsed down into the sand, relieved to find that it cushioned his fall, it was a relief after walking from the parking lot to what Robin had originally told him was the best part of the beach, though he had been trying to convince David that they could sit somewhere else when he had noticed him falling behind; that had only made David more determined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to admit that Robin was right, this was the best part of the beach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David had seen his fair share of beaches, probably more beaches than most teenagers in America, from the east to west coasts; but never Maine, Ruth had never taken then back to where all three of them were born, he had never seen the Storybrooke beach, only a ten minute drive from his new home. It was beautiful, especially in the June sun, it was pretty quiet, several families were dotted on beach towels and paddling in the sea, the golden sand had been warmed by the sun, it was warm against his skin as he dug his fingers into it only to feel the sand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David, can you come paddle with me and Rolo? Or is your leg too sore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was drawn out of his head, he sent his only sister a sympathetic smile, “Sorry Go, my leg’s pretty sore still, and I’ve gotta do loads of work or Rob- your dad’s gonna tell me off,” he pulled an overly dramatic pained face, receiving a playful roll of the yes and a ruffle of his hair from Robin, despite trying to duck away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can build sandcastles later,” Roland suggested with a barely contained eager look, without Henry there (the oldest of David’s sibling’s was sleeping over at a friends house) Roland was trying to be a little more mature than he would usually be, “if you can…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds good, maybe we can have a contest, you can judge,” he looked to Robin, “right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, if you’re all lucky I might even provide a prize,” Robin grinned at how excited all three of the kids looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrangled Margot closer to him and covered her in sun-cream, watching to make sure Roland did the same and catching the parts of him which he missed. “Okay monsters, you can go paddle, maybe you can collect some seashells for your castles, stay where I can see you and don’t go too close, got it?” He waited for nods from both Roland and Margot before passing over buckets and spades, watching them closely as they sped off towards the ocean. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>David was pulling out his textbooks and notebooks from his backpack when a bottle of sunblock landed on his notebook, making both fall into the sand, David looked at it for a second, before turning his head to look at Robin, David raised one eyebrow, his father did the same. “Seriously? I don’t need this, I’m not, like, paddling,” he tossed it back and Robin caught it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need it, kid,” he tossed it back, David caught it and Robin sent him a smile, “even if you’re not paddling you’re out in the sun, you need to protect from the rays.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He realised, after a second, and taking in his son’s rather clueless look, that Ruth probably hadn’t had the money to spend on sunblock, or anything else, that both David and James probably hadn’t been told that they needed it on all summer no matter what; David was frowning a little down at the bottle, reading the back of it, Robin felt a little bad, though the worry of UV rays was foremost in his mind. <br/></span>
  <span>“You need me to help you put it on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David shook his head, he opened the bottle, smelling the slight coconut scent of the sunblock, he remembered being very young, a neighbour or someone was around, making sure that David and James were both slathered in the stuff, saying that James had burnt, that he probably had the same type of skin, they must have been in Maine, that was the last time they’d had neighbours. The neighbour must have thought David would be like James, James who burnt the second he thought about the sun, David on the other hand had always tanned, Ruth had once told him he must have gotten that from his father, David had assumed at the time she meant Robert, but… eye carefully eyed his actual father, who had been watching him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scars burn easily.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David narrowed his eyes then raised an eyebrow in amusement, glad to be out of his own head, and that Robin hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t simply avoiding slathering the cream into himself. “How’d you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen </span>
  </em>
  <span>to your doctor when he talks, and your physio…,” Robin teased then rubbed his neck, “and I may have done a little googling.” He watched patiently as his son looked amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A conversation about Robin being an overprotective parent, talked about yesterday in therapy, with Archie played in both of their heads, Robin had admitted to googling every single thing possible, but as David had (reluctantly) made it clear that he didn’t actually mind the overprotectiveness.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m putting it on, I’m putting it on,” David mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting his arms covered was pretty easy, he was wearing a white t-shirt so his shoulders were covered from the sun, he covered his arms in the cream, then his legs his right first, then his left leg, the latter was part of the reason why he had been reluctant to wear the patterned shorts, the flesh was twisted, dented, torn then sewn back together, malformed, the brace was in Robin’s rucksack of supplies, after David had insisted on going without. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sunshine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s head snapped to look at Robin, it was only Robin’s soft voice which made him realise he must have been staring at his leg. “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The scars will fade soon, kid, I promise, just give it some time to heal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David didn’t know if he wanted the scars to heal, the only sign nowadays that he had ever been David Nolan, this would fade with the scars of his past, the ones with the bad and the good memories, until even David forgot about them. He simply nodded his head, and knowing that Robin was watching him he rubbed the cream into his legs, paying particular attention to his scars.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirty minutes later David was half covered in sand, his head was fuzzy, and he was beginning to understand why lizards stretched out under sunlamps; in front of him was a notebook covered in crossed out numbers, doodles, and correct answers with the working out either not there, or not how the example showed it should be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the school work, he was happy, happier and more relaxed than he had been in a while; there was the crashing of the sea, the sound of people having fun, around him was a wind-blocker, marking their little area, and all different beach towels, one for each of the four of them, but David had opted to lie on the warm sand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin collapsed down onto the beach towel beside him, like David he was in shorts, though his were less patterned, simple khaki coloured ones with a light linen shirt, though now he was half covered in sand, David could feel him looking at David’s work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is stupid,” David muttered throwing himself back so he was led down, his hair in the sand next to Robin’s thigh, “I’m never gonna need this, it doesn’t make sense. I’m shit at it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin ran his hand through his son’s hair, “No swearing, kid,” he admonished gently, his eyes scanning David’s work, “and you seem to be pretty good at this, it’s just the working out you’re doing a little differently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They won’t let me do it differently.” David crossed his arms and rested them over his eyes, blocking the sun, he was still and quiet for a minute, when something cold and damp pressed against his arm he let out a decidedly unmasculine yelp and scooted away, sitting up quickly to see Robin sitting beside him, a bottle of fruit punch Gatorade in his hand, so cold that condensation droplets were rolling down the sides of it, unsurprisingly Robin was laughing at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re mean,” David pouted, “I’m calling CPS, Imma tell them how mean you are,” he felt dread set into his bones as soon as he said those words, but that dread fades when Robin pulled him into a tight side hug, with a mocking ‘Aww’. David rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need a drink, something to hydrate your brain,” Robin told him, once he was done mocking his oldest child, “Here, drink this, I’m not letting you get heatstroke.” He uncapped the drink and passed it, waiting for him to take a sip before he grabbed a spare pair of his olds shades from his rucksack (the one Regina deemed the Mary Poppins bag), he handed them over too, “I have a cap in the bag if you need it too, but here wear these I don’t want you damaging your eyes, David.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take the shades,” he agreed, knowing he didn’t have much choice, he capped his drink and put them on, unsurprisingly they were nice ones, very nice ones, he wondered if Robin would let him keep them, he already had his own on after all. He received a smile from Robin, he looked down at his work, then back at Robin, “Okay they’ve not solved the math problems.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very funny smart arse, I’m going to help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, believe it or not, I was pretty good at math, well, once I had a tutor to help me for a while. Now don’t worry too much about their example, just show what you can do, and you can do this, they can teach you it their way later, just show them what you can do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another thirty minutes later and David had finished all of his math work, and had done a decent amount of his Geography and English work, Robin had helped him a little but mostly it had been him, there was something nice about feeling like he’d done it all himself, and that there was someone to help and encourage when he needed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he was watching Robin, Roland, and Margot playing in the waves, he couldn’t help but smile watching Robin acting goofy, and seeing his younger siblings having fun and running around, splashing water at each other and at Robin. He had been invited to join them, in fact Roland and Margot had both begged, but he chose to stay on the sidelines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while he reached into his own backpack, he had packed in two books, one of them was the one Mary had retrieved for him the other day, the other was the school Of mice and Men, but he wasn’t in the mood for either. He had headphones and his cellphone, but he didn’t feel like that either, so he brought out the thing he had been unsure about bringing; his sketchbook, he never used to sketch in public, even when they were driving to different towns David would only drive without James or Ruth watching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it his pencil was moving across the page, sketching quick strokes, in time with the sounds of the ocean. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin was getting way too old for running around with two kids who apparently have endless energy, he was panting as he slowly made his way back to David’s side, he had kept looking over to check on him, and may have used him as an excuse to the younger kids for taking a break, though he had also seen David glancing at them nearly every time that he looked over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got close to their area he saw David sat crossed legged, a pencil in hand, and a sketchbook like the ones he had seen his mother with often enough, a look of concentration on his face, his tongue sticking ever so slightly out of his mouth, it was adorable, Robin pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and managed to snap a picture before David looked up, Robin pretended to be checking his cell phone, really subtle like. He dropped onto a towel beside David, taking in how David was still choosing the sand over the towels, he made a mental note of it on his list of things he was learning about his son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sketching?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I see?” Robin was met with silence, “It’s okay if you don’t want to show me, it’s fine kiddo, it’s up to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can see,” David told him eventually, after a few more lines being marked in his book, “I was just finishing it up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David, </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you don’t have to show me, it’s okay, you don’t have to show me-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robin, </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” David copied Robin’s English accent as best as he could as he copied him, Robin’s look was enough to make David burst out laughing so enthusiastically that he fell backwards so he was lying in the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he finally sat up Robin was grinning at him, he quickly pretended to glare, but the two were clearly smiling at each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re getting cheeky, Sunshine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I aced your accent, I’m so using it to get outta shi- </span>
  <em>
    <span>stuff</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” David told him with pride, he held his sketchbook out to his father, “You can look, seriously, I told you I’d draw somethin’ so you won’t but those paintings from when I was a kid up on the fridge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin took the sketchbook, there were three pages of sketches, despite being in black and white David had managed to bring the scene at the beach to life. “Dave…” his voice full of awe, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sunshine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this is, these are amazing… seriously, kid, you’re amazingly talented, shit mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we weren't allowed to swear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> aren’t, I am,” Robin joked, knocking shoulders with him gently, “but seriously, these are amazing,” he stared down at the last one, it was centred on him, holding Margot into the air as he and Roland got splashed by the incoming wave, they were all clearly smiling despite being from a distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, his red cheeks had nothing to do with the sun or the heat, “Does this mean you promise not to put those old paintings on the fridge now?” David asked finally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, kid… that doesn’t mean they’re not going to go up elsewhere in the house…. framed of course….” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David let out an exaggerated groan, dropping his head all the way back, “you’re the worst,” he told him, but in his head he wondered what it would be like to go have his drawings and photographs up around the house like his siblings did.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Hours later the four of them were in the car on the way home, all four of them were tired, and smelt like the sea and the sand, the latter of which Robin knew he’d be finding in his car for months to come, yet they were all smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Showers for all of you monkey’s when we get home,” Robin commanded as he turned the corner to drive down their road, sticking firmly to the speed limit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need one too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because the </span>
  <em>
    <span>lead monkey</span>
  </em>
  <span> strategized with the younger monkey’s to push their dear old dad into the sea then again into the sand,” his response was met with laughter which was still going on as they pulled into their driveway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin was the first person to notice the man standing at their door, it took him a second to place him, as they climbed out of the car, be he remembered him as the social worker, Sam, the one who had brought David to him. Robin hesitated, watching David let the others out of the car and limp to his side, he hadn’t seen him yet, Robin opened his mouth to try and tell David but he was confused himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Robin can we-... what’s he doing here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know kid, it’s probably routine, he wants to make sure you’re okay, c’mon let's head in, kids, go upstairs and shower, okay, me and David need to talk to this man, we’ll join you in the den after you’re all done, got it?” They must have heard the seriousness in his tone because as soon as they made it to the door, Robin greeted the social worker while David was silent, and Robin unlocked it, they ran inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin, David, and Sam settled in the living room before David said anything, he was sat close to Robin’s side, and he had caught the sun that day, his skin several shades darker, but mostly he was just glaring, clearly trying to hide his fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’re you here? Are you gonna take me away? Cause-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-He’s not, Sunshine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Of course I’m not. I was in the area; I thought I’d check in on you, see how you’re settling in here, how you’re doing. You’re looking-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s bullshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>David</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is! He was ‘in the area’, like fu-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>David Robin Locksley-Mills. Stop. Now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s mouth fell closed at Robin’s firm tone, and his warning look despite David’s clear look of betrayal, David let out a huff of air, trying to blow out his anger and worry as he slumped down in his place on the couch he clenched his teeth trying to force tears not to well up in his eyes. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his fingernails cutting crests into both palms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sunshine</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Robin waited for David to look up, “You’re not going to be taken away, </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>? You’re staying here, staying home, with all of us, he’s not taking you,” his head snapped to the social worker, “are you?”                             </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The social worker hesitated for a mere moment, “No. Your therapist told me that he had made sure to get your concept before talking to me?,” David nodded, “He’s not given me any reasons to be concerned with you living here, or with your wellbeing, I would like to talk to you still, but I don’t believe I’ll be moving you, unless you’re not safe here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.” David told him, his heart was beating in his chest so hard that David was sure the men heard it, but he kept his chin defiantly in the air, “I’m safe here, and I’m not moving.” He didn’t realise that his eyes had drifted from Sam to Robin until Robin’s hand went to the back of his neck, scratching circles onto his skin, it was surprisingly comforting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not moving out,” Robin told him just as firmly as David had said it, “even when you go to college you’re living here, even when you’re forty and have a family of your own you’re living here, you don’t have a choice, seriously,” he teased only slightly joking until David relaxed a little and gave him a half smile. Robin gave him a smile back but left his hand scratching David’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back to Sam. “I’m sure you’ll be wanting to talk to both of us together and just David, I get it, do you mind if we do the joint one first though?” It wasn’t a choice, or a question, it was more than a suggestion, it was happening, he didn’t care, he didn’t want his kid to have a panic attack because David would have to speak alone, terrified of being taken away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, it’s mostly just hearing how you’re both doing, I know you’re starting summer school soon, David, how are you feeling about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David pulled a face, he didn’t want to have to talk about this, or to him at all, but he knew he had t</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After they talked Sam talked to him alone, making sure David really was alright, David wouldn’t admit it out loud but his mother’s warning that social workers would take them away from her played in his mind and scared him to the bone. He had tried to play it cool but Robin must have seen what lay beneath the surface because once the social worker had left and David had spent a little too long under the cold spray in the shower Robin ushered all three kids into the den with him to chill and watch movies, he didn’t even try to force David to pick a movie, which was both a first and a relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David had fallen asleep at one point, but even when he woke and Regina was home the family stayed in the den watching movies, Robin scratching those circles into the back of David’s neck. Neither Robin nor Regina made him talk about the visit, Robin didn’t mention how David had been scolded with his full name for the first time ever, but Robin had announced that at least one of David’s sketches was going on the fridge ‘finally’, and Regina had mentioned sending some photos to get printed, ones Robin had apparently sent her from that day, including from their sandcastle building competition. David knew they weren’t saying it, but they were making sure he felt at home, he didn’t know how he could even begin to thank them for that…. For any of it, really.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>its been a min huh <br/>this is written wile exhausted because I have a new small kitten who is probably the antichrist <br/>hope yall enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robin’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel in time with the clicking of the indicator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know, you’re probably old enough that this much stress is gonna give you a heart attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin looked away from the traffic light still on red to his son who sat in the passenger's seat. David was trying to look serious and caring but the smirk on his face was impossible to miss, Robin could suddenly feel the own frown he had on his own face disappear into a slight eye roll and a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David had been just as nervous as both Robin and Regina that morning, he wasn’t exactly hiding it, even if he stubbornly insisted on still going, now at least he was acting as though he was going to be okay, so Robin continued to smile at his son, “I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> old.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a fifteen year old kid, you can’t be that young either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s smile brightened at David referring to himself as Robin’s kid, he wasn’t sure that was ever going to get used to that feeling, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his kid</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You know I was fairly young when you were born? I’m still young, you punk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David smirked, “Aren’t you like nearly forty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light changed to green and Robin turned the wheel, his hands no longer aching to jitter, “I’m in my thirties, you know I can totally ground you right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For pointing out how old you are?” David couldn’t contain his laugh at Robin’s pretend grumpiness, he forced his laugh to quiet and an innocent tone to take its place, “But I’m just worried about the health of my- of you, y’know, caring for the elderly and all that,” David’s joke lost some of its affect when he nearly slipped, he nearly called him his dad, which was ridiculous, he barely knew the man, not really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin’s ears had become ever so slightly pinkened, he hadn’t missed what David had nearly said, or that he had covered it up, part of him, a large part at that, wanted to tell him it was okay, that he could, that Robin wanted him to, but he knew logically if he did that David was much less likely to ever call him that if he showed him how much he wanted it. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, I appreciate your concern, kid, but you’re not allowed to put me in an old people’s home until I’m at least eighty, probably older.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David couldn’t help but laugh again feeling himself relaxing despite getting closer to the school, he didn’t understand how Robin could have this effect on him, he couldn’t help but think about how much easier his life could have been if he had Robin soothing his anxiety from the start. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously the school is quieter this time, though there are a few other freshmen like yourself, David,” the headteacher was dressed more casually this time, though her clothes were still expensive and formal looking to David’s eyes, “If you make up high enough grades on projects and exams during your time at summer school you’ll move up with the others, if not you will be repeating your freshman year here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David nodded his head, he had already heard all of this several times, he knew that this was his only opportunity to not be the oldest person in a class for the rest of his school years, “I’ll get the grades,” he felt Robin clap him on the shoulder and squeeze it, Robin had been trying to be cool and chill, but David had felt him nervously glancing at him in every break in the headteachers words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m sure that you will, if you are struggling with anything I’m sure that your teachers will be happy to help, there are also a couple of students who will be in summer school with you who are more than capable of helping you; Mary Margaret Blanchard, and Killian Jones, though I’m sure that you will do just fine on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know, my wife and I, Mary, we have for years I know why she’s here, that she’s a good influence; I’ve not heard of a Killian though,” Robin was trying his best not to judge, but he also didn’t want David falling in with a bad crowd or kid, no matter how clever they were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr Jones transferred to the school earlier this years, he missed a lot of time in lessons at his old school, he is still settling in,” the teacher spoke carefully but it was clear she understood Robin’s hidden question, “he hasn’t made the most friends, but perhaps this will be an opportunity for both him and David to bond, I’m sure being new hasn’t been easy for either of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need a friend,” David told her, he could feel a warning squeeze on his shoulder from his father, he took a deep breath to quell his anger, even if a headteacher lining up a friend for him was absolutely ridiculous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teacher either felt bad or completely didn’t care about David’s reaction, “I’ll lead you to your class now, it should be just taking way, if you would like to say goodbye Mr Locksley-Mills.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David felt a lump in his throat suddenly, that ridiculous feeling of not wanting to leave him, or not wanting to be left alone, Robin gently nudged him to turn him so that David was facing him, “I guess I’ll see you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin pulled him into a hug, whispering into his ear, “I’ll be there, it’s going to be okay, if you need me just call or text, I’ll be here in five.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty sure you’d have to break the speed limit for that,” David tried to joke but he didn’t move away from his dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh what’s the speed limit?” He felt David tense and felt immediately bad, “I’ll drive carefully, okay? But I’ll be here as fast as I can, sunshine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David nodded against him before finally pulling away, “I’ll see ya later, Robin.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you later, David.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David was led to a classroom with about twenty other kids around his age, on the walk to the classroom he had been told that he would be in a class with freshmen and sophomores, seven freshmen including himself, some were in there for behavioural issues, while the two who had been previously mentioned to him were like him, merely trying to make up their grades. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A teacher he hadn’t met before gave him a smile, introducing herself as Ms Garcia, she gestured to the side of the room where the freshmen all were; four were girls talking around a table, there was a dark haired guy wearing all black, and the girl he seemed to be destined to bump into: Mary: she smiled at him and gestured towards her table, stationary already                                                                              seeming to have a particular place on each section of her table, he sent her back a tiny smile, but took a seat behind her next to the guy who gave him a small nod before returning his attention to a notebook on his desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David let his crutch out of his hand and onto the floor beside his chosen table before sitting down and staring into his bag as though trying to search for something, if only to look busy. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>David had finally surrendered his backpack to ground when the teacher came over to his side, having been talking to the sophomores before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if you all take these sheets,” she passed a pile of paper to an emo girl at the table of the talking girls, “you’ll see what we’ll be studying during your time here, I’ll come around to discuss individual adjustments to your schedules. This week, however, you’re going to be working in pairs in order to make a combined history, geography, geology, and sociology projects: you’ll also be given a little homework for the core subjects; English, math, and science,” she heard the moans of the front group, “not that much homework, we’re aware that you all have lives out of school.” She drew her attention to a girl who was already complaining about whatever was on the list.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David took the sheets of paper from Mary, took the sheets before handing them over to the dark haired guy, Killian; starting when he saw that the hand which took them from him wasn’t actually a hand, not one made out of flesh anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Checkin’ out the hardware, mate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David started again, sending Killian a sheepish smile in apology; “Sorry, I wasn’t, I just… it’s cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killian hesitated for a second before smiling at him, “Yeah? You’re one of the few people who thinks that, mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mate? You’re English right?” Regina had mentioned that there were a lot of English immigrants in the town, but his question was met with another guarded look from Killian, “My, er, my dad is too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem too sure about that, Dave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s David,” David felt himself snap, “I don’t go by </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dave</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he watched him hold up his hands in surrender, David felt bad, rubbing the back of his neck, “The whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘dad’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing is new, so’s this town, for me, anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d heard, talk about a string of bad luck, mate, I’m sorry.  This town’s alright, though, I guess, it reminds me of home, just smaller than London, and weirder. And at least I’m not the newbie anymore, you are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David felt weirdly like he had passed some form of test with him, he stared at him for a second, taking in the chipped black nailpolish on his hand, and the smudged eyeliner under his eye, the guy who clearly knew a lot about him already, David wanted to ask about him in return, but knew that he would have hated it if he had been in his shoes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before you ask, yeah wearing all black in summer isn’t the best choice,” Killian gave a small chuckle, “but it pisses off my brother enough to keep him off my back about other stuff, and it keeps most of the preps here at bay...” he spared a small smile at Mary who had turned around in her chair to watch the pair, “Mary here’s impervious, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David copied Killian in sending Mary a small smile, she seemed to be grinning in earnest at what she clearly had decided was a compliment, he had also noticed that she didn’t seem to be one who could be scared off, “I think my brother probably would’ve stolen your docs, man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A man of taste,” Killian declared, “and you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think they’re my size,” David deadpanned, Killian had a fair few inches on him, he could tell that without him even standing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you know what they say about big feet,” he finished with a wink, smirking at the blush creeping along David’s cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily David was spared from having to try to find the words to respond as the teacher approached the three of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re one person short, so perhaps you could work as a threesome?” Ms Garcia suggested to them, “Have you all looked at the topic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach twinged, everyone who had ever been in a class or a school without any friends knew the dread of asking to pair up and not knowing anyone to join, David more so than others as he had played this role before. Killian and Mary seemed to already know each other, and despite the pair being nice to him so far he was expecting them to work together. He was about to open his mouth to volunteer to work alone when Mary answered instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, it’ll be fun, right you two?” David was still frozen but Killian sent her a ‘fun, seriously’ look before rolling his eyes and giving a nod. “I have a couple of questions though, about the briefing sheet-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David hadn’t actually looked at the brief sheet, so he did now; it seemed to be pretty much anything about the town they could possible want to use, so long as they included the different subjects in their research, he wasn’t exactly surprised that Mary was asking the teacher questions David hadn’t even thought about thinking about asking, truth be told he couldn’t keep up, he spared a look at Killian, who shrugged, it appeared that they would all be working together. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning passed surprisingly fast for David, they had talked as they worked on their project, David knew that he didn’t have much to contribute to the project, barely knowing the town’s name let alone the history or geography, he had however made a point that many English people moved to the town, that they could interview them to see any similarities between Storybrooke and places in England; Mary’s smile had lit up at his suggestion and David felt inexplicably proud. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now he was sat at a lunch table the three of them had conquered in a corner of the massive school canteen, in front of him was a tray of food, school food but better than at any he had been given anywhere else across the country, he had chosen a hotdog and fries, along with a small bottle of sparkling berry water and a pot of fruit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked to Mary who seemed to be organising her bag, then back towards the food counter where Killian had headed in search of something cold. He pulled out his cellphone, he wasn’t surprised to see that his screen was full of text message previews from his family; something about video game strategy from Henry, texts from Regina that morning wishing him luck, promising to see him later, and reminding him to take his medication, most of the texts were from Robin, David supposed he didn’t blame him, the last time David had gone to school he’d had a breakdown, the texts weren’t worried… technically, but they were, in that not so subtle way which Robin specialised in, the last one must have arrived when David had been walking to the canteen, it was a simple ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Text me, Sunshine</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David pulled up his camera, snapped a photo of the fruit cup, then sent it to Robin with the caption ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>u proud?</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. The text back was immediate, and wasn’t joking like David’s had been, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Immensely x</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David tried not to blush as he smiled at his cellphone, soon his phone buzzed again, his father telling him to take his meds and asking how his day was going. David rolled his eyes, reached into his backpack and pulled out the little container with all of the tablets he had to take, the ones for his head and for his body, and to stop him from having yet another breakdown, or at least that was the plan. He snapped another photo, this time of the capsule, and sent it to Robin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘its fine</span>
  <em>
    <span>. done u happy?</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that his short response would make Robin roll his eyes, which was kind of David’s reason for doing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ecstatic. Have a good day, stay out of trouble, I’ll see you in a few hours.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David unscrewed the capsule of pills pouring them into his hand, he could feel Mary’s eyes on him but he refused to take his eyes off of the tablets in his hand and the phone screen just a little beyond it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m a text away if you need me Sunshine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled at the text as he took the pills, swallowing them down with plenty of water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m proud of you. Love you x</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his ears turn a deep shade of red; it wasn’t something he was used to, Ruth had said that she loved him, of course she had, but it was always complicated, always had a condition, or the meaning of the words had been blurred by alcohol or stronger stuff. He couldn’t remember if she had ever told him that she was proud of him, telling him stuff like that had always been down to James, it didn’t mean the same coming from a brother, it shouldn’t have been down to James to play the role of parent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jinx.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s head snapped up, he had a sudden fear that Mary had seen Robin’s text to him, it was already weird knowing that Mary had known Robin for years, and this moment, this text seemed more private than he was willing to share with someone he didn’t really know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he saw her shaking a pill bottle nearly identical to his own, he couldn’t help but smile, but then it twisted into a slight frown, “Are you okay? Are you sick, like the flu or something?” He watched her smile turn slightly sad, “I mean if you don’t wanna tell me that’s fine, I just, if you’re okay or whatever-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-David? As </span>
  <em>
    <span>charming</span>
  </em>
  <span> as your whole,” she gestured to his entire self, “thing is, it’s fine, you’re just the first person I’ve had to tell in about a year, news around here doesn’t stay new for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” David’s voice was soft, “I’ve noticed that,” Mary sent him a smile which wasn’t quite pity, it was more understanding, it was a nice change, it made him think of the way Killian had been talking to him, a deeper understanding even if the things which brought them together weren’t alike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leukemia, it’s -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blood cancer,” David answered then shrugged, “You live in enough motels, you pick up medical lingo cause it’s like the only show on most of the channels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mary smiled at him, relieved not to have to give when felt like a TED talk explanation, “I’m okay, I promise, I’m recovering, but it’s why I was off for most of this year, why I’m here, I don’t want to have to stay behind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David could understand that, it was why he was also in summer school after all, still he couldn’t help but think of the plastic looking people he had last seen her with, “Yeah, it’d suck to leave your boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’d suck to leave any of my friends, you’re included in that now, by the way, I decided, Killian is too,” she gave him that sunny smile which began to chase away the shadow’s in his mind, “so we’re all going to pass summer school, then we’re going to be sophomores together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we going to make blood oaths now?” Killian collapsed into the chair on the other side of David, an eyebrow raised with a smirk playing on his lips, “if we fail or stop being friends the school collapses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mary gave him a wry smile, “Why don’t we just exchange cell phone numbers? We’ll need them to meet up to work on our project anyway, choose where we’re meeting, I mean you’re both welcome at my home anytime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was astounded at how nothing seemed to phase Mary, how she always seemed to have an answer, how Killian’s dark humour didn’t phase her despite the fact she seemed to have an opposite humour, how she seemed to be completely unphased by cancer of all things. It took him great effort not to stare in wonder at his two new… </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a word he was used to, but if Mary was right, (and she seemed to be certain that she was), he had friends now, two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When a teacher called that lunch was over they packed up their stuff: They had decided that they would be working on their project through the week, Mary had happily offered up her house, and to David’s surprise Killian had offered up his home too, claiming it would keep his brother off of his back, David offered his own up for that too, he’d have to ask but he was fairly certain Regina and Robin would be okay with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was only half listening to Killian and Mary talking about some show as they stood up, part of him was busy wondering if he really did have friends, if it counted just because Mary had insisted it so, but most of him was trying to get his crutch out from the table where it had somehow gotten stuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a couple of minutes of struggling Mary seemed to notice, or at least decided to step in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do it,” David insisted, his voice gruff as he pulled it as hard as he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly not, move out the way I’ll do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, it’s just a little…. Fuckin’ c’mon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David mate,” Killian's hand went to David’s shoulder, “let Mary give it a try, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, David move, I’m your friend let me help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David was shoved out of the way by Mary, surprisingly strong for her size, he let out a grunt of frustration at feeling so useless. He knew he was being stubborn, but he reached again for the crutch which Mary was pulling just as had as he had been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly the crutch was free, being pulled hard by Mary….. Straight into David’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so, so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, it’s fine,” he let out a small groan at the pain from moving his jaw, he pressed the ice harder to his still bleeding jaw and let out another groan, “‘was my fault, I was bein’ stubborn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna argue about that,” Killian grunted, half glaring at David, David moved the ice away to argue with him, Killian gently pushed his hand back up to his jaw to keep the ice on it, “You’re quite the stubborn bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr Jones, you and Miss Blanchard were allowed to stay with Mr Locksley-Mills as you assured me you’d behave until his father arrives,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘nd ‘cause they refused to leave,” David mumbled not quite under his breath, the nurse continued to talk as though he hadn’t, though both Killian and Mary looked proud at that fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if you can’t keep your tongue under control you can go back to class.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Killian mumbled a not quite apology, while Mary looked as though she was about to apologise again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, it was my fault, Killian’s right,” David insisted, giving both of them a look as apologetic as he could. He didn’t actually know how it happened, he was pretty sure the cuff of the crutch had hit him hard enough to break his skin, but it was surprisingly deep, deep enough that Robin had been called to take him to get it checked out. “Robin’s never gonna let me live it down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t blame him,” Killian let out a snort of laughter, though his eyes were clearly on David, as though willing the cut to close through pure will, “It was pretty stubborn, mate… though I guess we could make that blood oath to always be friends now…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before they knew it they were all laughing. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robin let out another worried sigh as he stared at David, waiting for the nurses to come back with the forms he needed to sign, glad that his and Regina’s insurance was comprehensive. “You know when I said I’d see you soon this wasn’t exactly how I pictured celebrating your first day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David sent him what could only be deemed a self pitying pout, he hadn’t exactly expected it either, he also hadn’t expected the doctor to have to stitch his chin up, or to be told that he would have a scar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you’re having the best of luck at school, do you want me to home school you? I know a lot about the history of football in England, and some stuff about law… mostly the football though.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David knew that Robin was only half joking, that he’d probably home school him if David asked, he stayed quiet as the paperwork arrived and Robin began to fill it in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s cell phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out, fully expecting Regina to be texting him to be worrying over him, or telling him not to be so stubborn. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>‘</b>
  <b>
    <em>You have been added to ‘the three amigos’’</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>‘’the three amigos’ has been changed to ‘dave is a stubborn bastard’’</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>‘’dave is a stubborn bastard’ has been changed to ‘killian be nice’’</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘U won any nurses over with your dashing good looks and a sexy scar?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘David I'm so sorry, seriously. Are you in tomorrow? Is there anything I can do?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David smiled at his phone for a second, a scar seemed like a small price to pay for friends, actual friends, he pocketed it without replying and looked at his dad, deep in thought, the man who had rushed to him as soon as he had heard David was injured, the one who had given him a lecture about being stubborn while fussing over him and giving him a hug as though David were a young child in need of comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Robin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robin looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was good. You asked earlier how school was going, it was good… I think I made a couple of friends…?” and for once the way which Robin’s face lit up didn’t seem pitying and it didn’t rub David the wrong way, and after a second David was certain that the smile was simply proud. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>